Redbirdinabrightsky Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Okay so the bit is, I'm a 31 year old guy. I look great, I'm tall, educated, and generally dig who I am. There is your baseline. My mom was recently divorced by an ******* who beat her... her house is selling soon, and in about mid-February we are going to be living together. I am leaving the town where I am at with all my friends, so is she, and we'll be living in a warmer climate. I have not seen her for 5 years. She is 58, with no marketable job skills, and is generally a homebody, who needs her son around to help take care of her. I am okay with this, for now. My question is obviously about women that I will meet. I guess that I am trying to figure out what my fcking deal will be, because obviously in America guys who live with their mom's are kind of an urban joke right? I guess I am questioning my confidence in me, by having to admit to ladies out there that yeah, I live with and take care of my mom. Stupid women will look at me like I am perhaps a loser, but what about all the rest?
juliet1989 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 You're a great son to be helping your mom out right now. She just went through a terrible time in her life and it's probably going to take a while for her to heal. Put your dating life and the stigma of "living with mom" aside for right now and just focus on helping your ma out. Also, sensitive men that take care of their mothers are sexy. This will work in your favor, not against you. 2
Lois Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 . Stupid women will look at me like I am perhaps a loser, but what about all the rest? All the rest will think you're a pretty darn decent man. 3
darkmoon Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) if a man i know is bad to thier mother, i drop them, absolutely he would go down in my estimation, that's if she is ill or has a problem then again, if you are expecting you mother to cook and clean 100% of the time, then you could even be cited, quite fairly, as still young and dependent on her - try 50/50 responsibilty but if the mother for reasons of her own needs to control the son or his personal life, then that's her expecting to be bossy, she must butt out, must, nor can you be expected to be obedient because of any desire she has to control, she might need to know plainly that you're a grown man with a grown up girlfriend when you get one cuz then the girl might dump if you don't but suppose mother might have a boyf while you are single and living there? you two need to chat about all this to set groundrules and houserules, probably involving your right to have your bedrooms as separate from each others' juresdiction, each get your own kettles, drinks, TVs, sound-systems etc. in your own rooms Edited December 14, 2012 by darkmoon 2
sb129 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) Jeeez. Its obviously all about you, your feelings and how you're going to look! What about all the sh*t your mothers been through- she is going to be feeling pretty vulnerable right now. What about the guys she meets that she has to tell that she lives with her grown son? Well done for making sacrifices for your mother, but it seems like a huge leap when you haven't seen her for 5 years. What gives with that? Thats the thing that I would be concerned about if I met you. I wouldn't have an issue about you living together- thats obviously not going to be a permanent arrangement, and I'd admire you making sacrifices for your mother, but I'd be concerned about you not seeing her for 5 years, thats a long time to not see a parent. Edited December 14, 2012 by sb129
pteromom Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 It all depends on the specific situation. If having your mom there causes you to act less self-sufficient, like she's doing your laundry and cooking for you every day and packing a lunch for you and cleaning your room... then, yes, women are going to have a big problem with it. If you and your mom are roommates, you do your own thing, and you help care for her and take her to doctor appointments, then you will earn respect for it.
Nyla Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 When I was single, I dated a man who lived at home to look after his mother. His father died and she was alone. At first I thought he was a wonderful son...until I noticed that he had to cancel several dates because his mother or sister needed him to do something. It was like he was at their beck and call. The fact that he didn't know how to cook or do laundry was the dealbreaker for me. This man was just spoiled and I wanted no part of that. It sounds like you are self sufficient and just being kind to your mom. That is great! I would do the same in a heartbeat for my dad, but never for my mother as she was an abusive parent and callous to me when I was sick.
sweetkiwi Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I think its sweet. And unless she walks in on you having sex.....it shouldn't affect your sexlife or dating life. Me personally, i think you deserve a blowjob. 1
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