o0lovindrama0o Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I'm best friends with a guy and have been since high school started. A short time ago a girl that he dated for four months dumped him. This was his first serious relationship but I'm not sure if he is taking too long to get over it. It has been two months and he still does not want to do anything. I took him out a week ago and we had a hell of a time, today, he wants nothing to do with me, I asked why and he replied, "I miss her." I want to know if this is normal and how to help him. WHAT SHOULD I DO?! I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING?! Thank you so much! xoxoxoxoxox!
EC Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 It's completely normal. He broke up and he's lonely now and he misses her. As a friend all you can do if pat his head and be there for him. When you took him out it probably depressed him more seeing other couples together or thinking I could be sharing this happy moment with her or I wonder what shes doing right now.. Hes hurting he just needs time.
Author o0lovindrama0o Posted August 12, 2004 Author Posted August 12, 2004 It's just hard, because when he tells me he doesn't want to see me it really hurts. I dunno...I just think that the fact that we're so close is a burden as well as a blessing. Thank you for the advice. I'll try to be patient with him as well.
Author o0lovindrama0o Posted August 16, 2004 Author Posted August 16, 2004 I could use a little help here, guys. He's started telling me he's worthless and how he hates himself. Yesterday he told me I'm the only person he can trust! I don't know what do do anymore! It is hurting ME now! H-E-L-P-!
Starting Over Posted August 16, 2004 Posted August 16, 2004 I'm not sure if this will be helpful or not. You might want to email more details of what your relationship is like.... A couple things. First, if you ever read Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus, you'll know that men are cave dwellers. When they are hurt, they go into their caves. They don't like to "talk" about things to feel better, like women do. And sometimes they don't even like to leave the house. Your friend sounds like he's really suffering...if you're concerned about him maybe being too depressed, and feeling suicidal then you ought to talk to him and see if thats what he means. I used to be a social worker..the best thing you can say to him is, hey, I know you've been sad...you worry me when you say you hate yourself...have you been thinking about suicide. If the answer is yes, I'd call a suicide hotline and ask for advice...maybe suggest he seek counseling. If you think he might have a plan to commit suicide, call your local community mental health-- all communities have them, and they can give you advice. Along those lines, you need to take care of yourself too. You mentioned that he's hurting you....do you mean b/c he doesn't want to go out? Take care of yourself though...just b/c he's feeling down, doesn't mean that he can treat you badly if he is. Sounds like you really care about him...he's lucky to have a friend like you during this time. I know when I've been in the middle of breakups I have felt hopeless...and I haven't been all that much fun to be around. I'm amazed my friends have stuck by me like they have. Hope this helps. S.O.
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