Chameleon Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Does anyone have advice for moving on more completely from painful past experiences? I realize I have some big issues. I find it very hard to really trust anyone. My self esteem is abysmal, but I put on a show around other people as often as I have the energy for it. I don't want any more pity. I'm uncomfortable in crowds, and frankly I don't have much fun with life anymore. People like me pretty well at first, but over time I wear down patience and generally isolate myself. The people who have been most unkind to me have been those closest to me. In the relationships around me I can only see the pain and compromises made. I'm quite lonely, but I can only remember it was awful to be involved. Even sex was never all that impressive to me. My fantasies are a lot more pleasurable than real life has ever been. I'm trying to take steps to mend myself. I'm leaving in April to backpack Europe. I was seeing a therapist for nearly three years before I started saving money. Taking medication for depression, which mostly just seems to give me insomnia. They say time heals all wounds. I haven't been close to anyone for over 6 years and it feels as though my wounds have only festered. I forgive the people in my past for the actions they took that hurt me, but I can't seem to let go of the bitterness. How do I properly release all this anger?
sleepless in sd Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 If you were in therapy for three years and still feeling this way, your therapist sucks. If your medication does not help and only gives you insomnia, your psychiatrist sucks. As someone who struggled with depression and saw it's imprint on every part of my life, including relationships, I can tell you that therapy (GOOD THERAPY) and appropriate medication have done wonders for me. Your post leads me to believe that you are still depressed. When I was in the dumps, my intuition was **** and my self-esteem was ****, which led me to hang out with and seek romantic partnerships that were ****. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and unfortunately, instead of a get-better-quick tip, you need that counseling. You may also need better meds. I'm not a doctor, I'm only talking about my own experience, but working on my anger, depression, and trust issues benefited just about every other part of my life. You can do it. You just have to take that first step. You'd be surprised how quickly the time goes after the first step.
sadsadsad Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 This has nothing to do with your question, but you should go to Asia....Nepal, Thailand...do a meditation course...seriously...its 10 times cheaper and so much better. Mountains...the sun...life on a beach. I am sorry you feel this way. You're not the only one though!
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