Cutiepie1976 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Well yes and no. I mean on a sexual level. i.e. When a lesbian couple, one butch and the other femme has this issue are they still lesbian? How about when I get with a woman...is that woman then a lesbian or something else? Is what defines a persons sexuality the organs of their partner or how they see themselves? These are complex questions of identity that I understand most people would rather avoid. That's exactly the issue! How you see yourself, not your sexual organs. Preferences are preferences. Period. In some ways, you are being far too judgmental and rigid about this! I like spicy food. It doesn't define me. If I go to a restaurant and one day the dishes are perfectly spiced and the next day it's blander than cardboard, and I never quite know what I might get on a particular day, I'm going to take my tastebuds elsewhere. Right? I have a preference. Ellen DeGeneres goes for girly girls younger than herself. Another lesbian may go for butch women. They're both lesbians, but they have distinct preferences about what is sexually appealing to them. Your challenge is that you're all over the place in your appearance. Please don't take that as criticism. It's just an observation. You will attract people with certain preferences using photos #1 and 4 in the OP. Folks with a different set of preferences using photos #2 and 3. And straight/bi men with this last photo looking to explore their fantasies with a hot, beautiful she-male...a different race too, and you just gave them their trifecta of fantasies. Different people have different preferences. If I like vanilla ice cream and detest chocolate, blending vanilla into chocolate and expecting me to like it doesn't work. It tastes like chocolate. It's irrelevant that I saw you add vanilla into the mix. You're given me a flavor that's a turn-off. Period. Show up looking like photo#3 for Mr. Straight who contacted you based on your last photo, and things might not be pleasant. We're successful when we match someone's preferences. Men who are consistently masculine or consistently effeminate will do better in finding a relationship than someone who is Mr. Lumberjack one day and prissy the next. That has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and everything to do with preferences about what is appealing to a particular person. Similarly, someone who is consistently male or consistently female will do better, all other things being equal, than someone who may show up as either on a particular day. BTW, What makes someone attractive to you? I just read your journal and you mentioned that you always have an SO or a potential SO in mind. What catches your eye in these individuals?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 How am I being judgemental? Yes it is about how you see yourself. If someone who sees themself as a straight woman likes me.... well that dosen't suddenly make them lesbian. If someone who's gay likes me, my top half dosen't make them straight. What's judgemental about that. They are who they are, and I am who I am.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I was being a little tongue-in-cheek. I guess the emoticon didn't convey that. I do get the sense though that you're frustrated that people won't accept you as you are. Not everyone will like us. That's just a fact. The key is to focus on those people who will, and who will value all of us. We all eventually find someone.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 I was being a little tongue-in-cheek. I guess the emoticon didn't convey that. I do get the sense though that you're frustrated that people won't accept you as you are. Not everyone will like us. That's just a fact. The key is to focus on those people who will, and who will value all of us. We all eventually find someone. I guess my lack of emoticons hasn't helped either. I'm not really frustrated. I just wanted to start up an interesting conversation that relates to my issues. I know not everyone will like me. I don't think everyone has to like me. I also don't think that who one is with, is the sole thing that dictates what their sexual identity is. That is especially true when it comes to Those of us who are either and/or transgender, bisexual, or let us not forget those who are intersexed (born with ambiguous chromosomes or genitailia.)
yongyong Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 are you a man or woman? just by looking at the picture, I am not sure. 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 are you a man or woman? just by looking at the picture, I am not sure. Oy. See the post above. The ammount of androgynous music and movie stars that exist shows that plenty of people find that very thing mysterious, intriguing and attractive. Others don't and that's ok. That kinda wasn't the question in my original post.
yongyong Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Another note. American people loves to spit B.S too much. I understand the culture though. they just don't want to offend you. But it's frustrating when you need an honest opinion. Eg:) you have a new product. you show it to people. they all say they like it blah blah and you ask them 'can you buy it right now?' then they keep their mouth closed. I see a lot of bullsxitters like that above who won't contribute anything but bring only confusions. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. This single girl might tell me how charming, funny, good guy I am. But if she doesn't want to f-ck me, then I wouldn't pay attention to her.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I guess my lack of emoticons hasn't helped either. I'm not really frustrated. I just wanted to start up an interesting conversation that relates to my issues. I know not everyone will like me. I don't think everyone has to like me. I also don't think that who one is with, is the sole thing that dictates what their sexual identity is. That is especially true when it comes to Those of us who are either and/or transgender, bisexual, or let us not forget those who are intersexed (born with ambiguous chromosomes or genitailia.) Definitely an interesting topic! You don't have to answer, but I'm curious--how has your family responded?
nessaaa Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Well your making that 200$ jacket look like it came from 'good will'...learn how to put outfits together. And whoever said that wearing your natural hair will lower ur chances of getting a date..should be slapped.
yongyong Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I am being brutally honest. Why should I listen your story? In real life, people will just look at your face and decide to go further or not.(getting to know you) If a guy looks too feminine, or a girl looks too masculine, I am sure most people will get turned off. I am sure there is a very small niche market for it though. it's up to you to change or stay that way. Oy. See the post above. The ammount of androgynous music and movie stars that exist shows that plenty of people find that very thing mysterious, intriguing and attractive. Others don't and that's ok. That kinda wasn't the question in my original post.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Another note. American people loves to spit B.S too much. I understand the culture though. they just don't want to offend you. But it's frustrating when you need an honest opinion. Eg:) you have a new product. you show it to people. they all say they like it blah blah and you ask them 'can you buy it right now?' then they keep their mouth closed. I see a lot of bullsxitters like that above who won't contribute anything but bring only confusions. Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. This single girl might tell me how charming, funny, good guy I am. But if she doesn't want to f-ck me, then I wouldn't pay attention to her. My problem isn't 4ucking it's relationships. Plenty of people want to 4uck me. My inbox on AFF is overflowing with propositions and I don't even have a picture up there right now. Messages from couples, men, women, and everything else. My problem is finding a relationship. I suppose I am most woman like in that I'd really prefer to have sex with someone I give a damn about.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) Well your making that 200$ jacket look like it came from 'good will'...learn how to put outfits together. And whoever said that wearing your natural hair will lower ur chances of getting a date..should be slapped. Could it simply be my posture in that one picture? How about in this one. https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/598589_3780307000079_1996090790_n.jpg @Cutiepie. I've never been quite normal. More over my family has a very deep root in American Indian traditions which include people like me. In the cultures we descend from I would be a Shaman. One who's supposed to study the world and nature and contribute that to the well being of the community. Verily, I am an astrophysicist and study history and genealogy of the family. My family has responded just fine, all of it. Edited December 12, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
nessaaa Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 ! Just work on your sense of style and your good kbye xoxo 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 I concur with the other posters...you are an appealing looking human being, but it's hard to figure out who your target audience is and that sort of cancels out any kind of sexuality...like when you have so many spices in a dish that you can't tell what any of them are. Your features are lovely though. Definitely datable, but you may need to make it clearer...one way or the other... who you want to date and adjust your style accordingly. You should have no trouble once you do that. Thanks. As hard as it is to believe, there are people in the world who find androgyny attractive.
xxoo Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I'm certain you are attractive enough to date. The percentage of people open enough to openly date someone with your fluid gender is probably relatively small. The pool of people who desire to have sex with you is larger than the pool of people who can handle introducing you to their friends, family, coworkers, etc, as their partner. And of that relatively small pool, not all of those people will necessarily be attracted to you, specifically. It is just going to take some time, some effort mixing with the right groups of people, and some luck. In the end, it will probably come down to meeting a group of open-minded people, and making a connection that will not be denied.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 We're all abnormal to someone! That word has very little meaning, other than to say you're not like me or your choices are different than mine and that's uncomfortable at some level to me. You're very lucky to have your family.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 There's no need to be snide. I think androgyny is lovely (Grace Jones and young Bowie are/were quite beautiful). I believe I said as much. You asked about datability, not whether you are an appealing looking human being. It's a bit like when parents take an infant out dressed in yellow and become upset when others mistake the gender of the child. There are no clear markers so is it reasonable to be upset when people fail to approach because they don't know whether you want to be approached ....because they don't know who you're wanting to attract? I wouldn't dream of approaching a man who is clearly interested in other men, regardless of how attractive he was, simply because I wouldn't want to disrespect him. Like it or not, we rely on visual cues when it comes to initial contact. I wasn't being "snide" I was merely stating a fact:) As hard as it is to belive there are men and women attracted to people precisely like me. Your not one of them, that's ok and dosen't bother me . For example the author of this book. My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser: Helen Boyd: 9781560255154: Amazon.com: Books Beatrice.com » Author2Author: Helen Boyd and Kate Bornstein Not everyone's definiton of datable = heteronormative pairings of a (man/masculine/butch) with a (woman/feminine/fem). I was asking if I was an appealing looking human being.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) Would you say people found you more attractive after you underwent your procedures/hormone therapies? Id say it made almost no difference. The earliest I ever took hormones was at 13 and I was on them until I was 16, on and off ever since then as they were available and as I felt their effects were beneficial to me. So in a way there hasn't been a real "before" to compare to. In high school I had boyfriends who were varsity athletes and had sexual relationships with two attractive female teachers. Monica I do not care about the gender or sex of the person I attract so long as they are an attractive human being. I care much more about their mentality and character. I am bisexual or what has been called pansexual Pansexuality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia My target audience is other people like me if you must think of it that way. Edited December 13, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) On here I may come off at times as supremely confident about being able to obtain sex if not relationships. To my experience this is true. Hence my question, am I too unattractive or too freakish to date? Anyone may answer. Be blunt if you like but not homo/transphobic. Here are some recent pictures of me. https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/527724_3568282059588_529483218_n.jpg https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/16090_3780306640070_222646353_n.jpg https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/480046_3803974151743_759902350_n.jpg https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/564720_3511827728265_724165964_n.jpg Really truly not fishing for complements, would've posted glammed up club ready pics if that was my goal (Though I'll take em if you give em). So am I just like, un-dateably freakish or what. no you arent i wasn toging to look at the pcitures and just say that anyway....there si always soemone who will fidn you attractive...i dotn think i am attractive a sa woman i think i hav ekermit eyes i actuall like them because they make me look goofy.....but a lot of people dont liek big eyes they like exotic i am anythign but that...lol....bouncy yes.... i am over weight.....and i still get attention and offers.......but those people dont know me ..so i am unlikely to move on it and make a date...i am attracted to a guy with a particular voice inflection i know weird....but then everything about them gets under my skin their shoulders the way they rock a white shirt or wear a suit theri eyes the way they smile and th elist goes on yes i am stuck on soemone...i dotn hav especific types of bodies race colour creed...just the guy.......hsi voice what he says what he believes in and i am a goner.....so never give up ...i have been publicly humiliated too called ugly, fat freak blah blah blah...ok i know already get over it.... ...spat on...then there are guys who look at me and say hey ...you are cute.and smile at me and i see genuine attraction.i always like to dress nicely and i hold my head up no matter what i feel be it awkward shy or insecure....i have good points and i know it.....you just have to get to know me.....so .....takes all types..hugs to ya..deb Edited December 13, 2012 by todreaminblue
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