tims Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I was with my Ex for 3 years, I am female and 31. We were very much in Love, more than any of us ever expected to be and we both admitted more than we had ever been with anyone else. We loved being around each other, we were simply madly in love. We were very happy but due to our differences (he is a little immature and I can be quite demanding) and living arrangements (the last year of our relationship we house-shared with 2 of his friends so spent a lot of time in our bedroom when at home together but he refused to get our own place as he was on a lot lower wages than me and didn’t think he could afford it) we argued and until it became more often than not. Although I knew on paper we weren’t a perfect match I loved him so much I was willing to work through it and he was always the same, he talked me round on a few occasions when I was ready to throw the towel in due to frustrations, he always said he was positive we were meant to be together. 10 months ago, after last Christmas we had a row, admitted it was getting hard and called an end to it. I immediately changed my mind, knowing how much I still loved him and wanted us to keep trying. He was very confused, told me he loved me but wasn’t sure, once I asked how unsure and he said he was 70% certain he wanted to break up. After 2 month of agony with the back and forth I moved out. Since breaking up his signals have been very mixed, following the initial heartache and sad to angry texts we got back in touch after 3 or 4 months more steadily. We would text but never talk or meet. Every time I have told him I didn’t want to stay in contact (as I knew I still loved him and it was very hard for me – I never gave him that as the reason, I just told him I didn’t think it was for the best) he would tell me he wants to, and we meant so much to each other it’s a shame to cut contact, on numerous occasions he has told me he misses me and also said he is sorry we split up and he doesn’t think he made the right decision. He would always call me by my pet name, bring up our past and find reasons to keep the text conversation going. But seems to back away from anything more such as meeting up. I told myself it was all in my head and he wanted to be with me he would and to walk away. I then started dating someone else and he must have seen on facebook. When I got in contact a couple of weeks later regarding some payments I needed to make a joint credit card he responded telling me he misses me and then sending me very flirty texts. My whole head and heart got set back 6 months and I seriously believed that he wanted to give us another go as if he missed me and obviously seems to still fancy me from what he was texting me then why would he? The texts were very personal and I felt so bad I ended it with the guy I was seeing. My ex went quiet on me the same week but wouldn’t have known. When I did text him alter that week he seemed very casual and when I told him I had ended it with the guy I was seeing he still stayed casual. After another few days of nothing I ended up texting him and telling him I still loved him and wanted us to try again, that I know I didn’t appreciate him enough and would make him happy. He told me that he still cared for me but we argued all the time and that’s why we split up, that he is sorry we split up but after 10 months of seeing other people he cant change his feelings like I wanted him to and that he is sorry sorry sorry. From your side, do you think he was leading me on the whole time? He isnt that type of person but maybe I am blind to it. Why would he say he misses me, be so adamant to keep in touch and say he is sorry we split up but then say 10 months of other people and he cant change his feelings? Is it just that 30% of uncertainty still nagging him or do you think there is any chance he might change his mind?
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 At the beggining he was telling you he missed you and made a mistake. So if you wanted a second chance then would have been the time to talk about it. I don't think he was leading you on. Enough time has past that he has decided he made the right decision and he is moving on. 10 months is long enough to move on from a relationship. It didn't happen over a course of a week or 2. He broke up with you he told you he made a mistake and missed you but didn't put in any REAL effort to fix things. As crappy as this sounds it seems like a lost cause to me. There is always a chance someone can change there mind. But I wouldn't hold your breath on it.
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