Tomorrow's the big day!

[na49]

Well not really a "big day" but one of the last days that I'll probably ever see my ex. Maybe the last time she'll be in a class with me. Unless I see her around campus, which may or may not be unlikely depending on when she has classes. Wanting to know what she wanted to speak to me about two days ago is still bothering me, and wanting to know why she called me so late at night bothers me too. I haven't replied and think it'd be kind of stupid to do it now considering she probably either gave up or it really wasn't that important.

 

Some of you seem to think that she'll try to get my attention tomorrow in class. If she does, I should keep it short and sweet right? and roll out right after. I want to text her and ask her what she wanted to speak to me about, but have no idea what her reaction would be. I don't want her getting an ego boost and telling me to leave her alone when she was the one who wanted to talk to me a few days ago. I've been NC for over a month and would like to keep it that way if I can help it.

[Chi townD]

Oka! Good for you! Sounds like you got your game plan! Just stick to it and you should be okay.

[cavalier99]

Yes. Don't make big deal of this. Remember... you don't care! She isn't anything to you now. Give update tommorow and think of your exam ps you should reconsider blocking her #. good luck bud!

[na49]

I haven't let my curiosity over what she wants affect my studies. But I'm dying to know what she wanted to speak to me about... It has to be friend zone BS right?

[cavalier99]

Who knows? Go lift weights or jog and get this b-ich out of your head. Regain serenity.

[na49]

Yes. Don't make big deal of this. Remember... you don't care! She isn't anything to you now. Give update tommorow and think of your exam ps you should reconsider blocking her #. good luck bud!

 

You're right. I think I've done a good job of painting the picture that I don't care even though I obviously do. My indifference towards her is probably what got her to finally text me on Monday. For my own sanity I know that I have to block her number eventually. I can't go on winter break looking at my phone hoping she texts me one day when she's bored so I can get my fix when I ignore it. It's actually getting old. I want to move on, I'm just getting ready.

 

I've also had to unsubscribe from random friend's updates on facebook. Because I blocked her, if she likes someone's status it says "5 people like this" then I check and only see 4. Talk about annoying.. The statuses I check are the ones that I KNOW that she would like. and most of the time I'm right. Just saw one from a girl saying she "wants her boyfriend to cuddle her". Of course my ex liked it and I got pissed when I saw that for whatever reason.

[BillEdrich]

So, you already know your plan right?

 

And best of luck from my side as well!

[na49]

Well I think I know my plan. It's a good one right? I mean as much as I want to "speak to her" about whatever she wanted to, I have no idea what it could be..

 

Now she's got me checking my phone hoping there will be some type of followup text like a "please, I really want to talk to you.." or "why are you ignoring me? :(" or "I'm sorry for cheating on you" or just something! She's still got me wrapped around her finger and doesn't even know it anymore...

[Chi townD]

Well, I'm starting to think that you might be working yourself up over nothing. She might be pissed at you now because you didn't come running to her when she snapped her fingers.

 

Good chance that she just might ignore you tomorrow. And then that will be that! Done! No fuss and no mess!

[na49]

That makes sense, she's definitely pissed that I haven't come running when she knows that I used to. Even after she dumped me, before I went NC I would always respond to her texts and answer her phone calls. I probably am hyping this up more than I should. I honestly don't expect her to say anything to me tomorrow which I guess would be better. Although I'd be lying if I said I don't like the attention I get from her even if it's just a text.

 

Do you think she'll ever send me a followup text? Or maybe she's given up because she notices I don't want anything to do with her? She definitely must have seen that I blocked her as soon as she unblocked me. That probably drove her crazy.

[veggirl]

Keep it short. Not sweet, you don't need to be sweet. Cordial is a better word.

 

Remember some of the suggestions on what to say to her...re-read those! Don't get sucked into a long dramatic talk! She is a cheater, remember....a proven liar. Don't buy into crocodile tears, either.

[TaraMaiden]

....For my own sanity I know that I have to block her number eventually.

 

No, you don't.

 

You have to block her number NOW.

[na49]

You're right, but the last time I was about to block her number I chickened out for whatever reason. It's almost like I don't want to move on yet even though I have to. Do you guys think that she'll bother me again? Or has she given up?

[veggirl]

You're right, but the last time I was about to block her number I chickened out for whatever reason. It's almost like I don't want to move on yet even though I have to. Do you guys think that she'll bother me again? Or has she given up?

 

Yes she will bother you again....you keep asking....is it because you want her to? She is a cheater...with a new boyfriend...

Will it take her giving up for you to give up?

[TaraMaiden]

W-H-O C-A-R-E-S- !??!

 

Block her damn number, and stop trying to analyse everything!!

It's OVER!!

 

finished!

Finito!

Ended!

Kaput!

Gone!

 

Quit with the questions - !!

 

Delete her number and MOVE ON!!

[veggirl]

Read these again:

 

Her: "why haven't you returned my calls?"

You: "What would be the point? Plus, I don't understand why you would even want to talk to such an evil person as you described me to your friends. Really didn't make any sense." Say this in a "a matter of fact" tone and not in anger.

 

Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

You: "Yeah, I'm hurt but I'll heal. It's not the end of the world."

 

Her: "I really miss you. I miss our friendship."

You: "You had my friendship and a lot more, but that wasn't enough. Look, you made a choice and it wasn't me. So, I'm not exactly sure what you what here."

 

Her: I don't want to lose you out of my life completely. I want us to be friends."

You: "I didn't get into a caring and loving relationship with you for the end result being that I am nothing more than a really good friend to you."

 

OR EVEN BETTER:

 

IMO It may be more comfortable to just listen calmly a little bit and say:

"There isn't anything to talk about I need to go" and just blow her off.

 

for the love of god whatever you do, don't get sucked into a big conversation. You will walk away feeling like s.hit if you do.

[na49]

You both are so right. I don't want to give up when she gives up. I want to give up before then, because if I give up when she does I'll feel worse about it. I would honestly be surprised if she does talk to me tomorrow but if she does I'll keep it short and simple, then leave. I'm pretty sure she already has a new boyfriend, which is why I don't understand why I'm still hanging on to the ounce of hope that she wants me back. I know she's guilty. I know she just wants to be my friend so she doesn't have to deal with the idea that there's someone who doesn't like her. Someone who doesn't think what she did was right. She's under the impression that she didn't cheat, every time I brought it up she'd get very defensive. I guess that's normal of a cheater right?

 

Why do I want to wait until next week to block her number? Even my dad is sick of her, so he'd love to block her number for me.

 

I want to move on, and I'm not letting myself. What is wrong with me? lol

[LostOne1]

You both are so right. I don't want to give up when she gives up. I want to give up before then, because if I give up when she does I'll feel worse about it. I would honestly be surprised if she does talk to me tomorrow but if she does I'll keep it short and simple, then leave. I'm pretty sure she already has a new boyfriend, which is why I don't understand why I'm still hanging on to the ounce of hope that she wants me back. I know she's guilty. I know she just wants to be my friend so she doesn't have to deal with the idea that there's someone who doesn't like her. Someone who doesn't think what she did was right. She's under the impression that she didn't cheat, every time I brought it up she'd get very defensive. I guess that's normal of a cheater right?

 

Why do I want to wait until next week to block her number? Even my dad is sick of her, so he'd love to block her number for me.

 

I want to move on, and I'm not letting myself. What is wrong with me? lol

because your attached still...

 

I think classes being over will be good. You won't see her as much and it will get better. Our mind needs TIME to detach. We become so used to a person that it's like an addiction. We can't let go right away... it's like a withdrawal syndrome

 

But with time slowly it goes away and it will for you too.

 

My ex I think cheated too and when I talked to her about it. She NEVER once said sorry. She would change the topic or say something to backfire at me.

 

I think cheaters AVOID it, because they know they messed up but don't want to look bad.

 

How many cheaters want to say "hey I cheated on you and I'm okay doing it". I think most cheaters feel some guilt or some how find a way to justify it. Like my ex did by saying I wasn't good enough or I didn't communicate better or I wasn't her type etc.. Which is all BS, because if after 3 yrs you aren't her type or can't communicate. Then the relationship wouldn't have lasted that long for me.

 

Personally man do what I am doing. Give it time and slowly forget about it. I told myself and promised myself now matter HOW down I get etc.. I WILL NOT text or contact her. If I do it.. I lose my self respect and it looks horrible.

 

You don't want your ex tlaking about how much of a dog you were and you were on her leash at all times. Show her nothing and move on.

 

It's hard espcially for me.. 3 yrs and now it's over. Our future and all together too. But it's life and we can't control it always.

 

Enjoy the holiday buddy, and hang with friends and family. Remember that you and me are sitll young and we will both find ourselves some nice girls, who won't cheat on us ever and love as no matter how bad things get and will work it out with us if things do get crazy. That's what it's all about and these days people give up and don't work out as much as they did before.

[na49]

You're right. I do probably need time to detach myself completely from her. I'm definitely not attached to her, but I haven't detached myself yet either. Not seeing her can only help me. Honestly before Monday I was doing fine. I went almost a week without looking at her (she was in my classes but I avoided eye contact or even looking her way) and started feeling better. Then she tells me she wants to speak to me and calls me at 12:30 at night, I go backwards.

 

I keep telling myself I'll block her number, I hope eventually I can get rid of the false hope completely and go through with it. She just wants to ease her guilt and be my friend. Two things that I DO NOT want to happen if I have anything to do about it. I feel like I got a bit of my power back when she unblocked me on facebook and then I went ahead and blocked her.

 

I've been going strong for over a month now, I've got to stay strong. I don't need to be on break beating myself up because I contacted her once or admitted that I missed her. Not how I'm trying to spend my winter vacation.

[cavalier99]

If you had blocked her a few weeks ago like we discussed this contact might have been avoided . But then again we wouldn't of had this fun thread lol

 

Its all good bro. I'm laughing AGAIN at how worked up we get over the smallest things like a text and a missed call like it was a f-kin terrorist attack

 

This is nothing and a few month/years from now we will all be laughing our asses off like lostone said when we reread any of our threads. Rock on!

[na49]

Of course not, and I know you were the one who was pushing for me to do it. Wishing that I did it then, but can't understand why I can't do it now.. Well when I do eventually block it, I'm sure I'll end up making a thread about it lol.

 

It really is funny how worked up we can get over the smallest thing. She is literally thinking nothing of this. "oh I haven't spoken to him in a while.. I hope he doesn't hate me. let me see what he's up to" *sends a text* "No response? oh well whatever, he's a jerk anyway" *continues with her life*

 

to me? "OH MY GOD! WHAT DO I DO? RED ALERT RED ALERT!"

[Simon Phoenix]

You both are so right. I don't want to give up when she gives up. I want to give up before then, because if I give up when she does I'll feel worse about it. I would honestly be surprised if she does talk to me tomorrow but if she does I'll keep it short and simple, then leave. I'm pretty sure she already has a new boyfriend, which is why I don't understand why I'm still hanging on to the ounce of hope that she wants me back. I know she's guilty. I know she just wants to be my friend so she doesn't have to deal with the idea that there's someone who doesn't like her. Someone who doesn't think what she did was right. She's under the impression that she didn't cheat, every time I brought it up she'd get very defensive. I guess that's normal of a cheater right?

 

Why do I want to wait until next week to block her number? Even my dad is sick of her, so he'd love to block her number for me.

 

I want to move on, and I'm not letting myself. What is wrong with me? lol

 

 

SHE CHEATED! What is there to hold on to? She betrayed you but you are sitting there like a lost puppy hoping she takes you back? That's s--t dude. Have some self-respect. She should be begging you to take her back and you should tell her "thanks but no thanks". You shouldn't be sitting there hoping for someone who has shown no respect for you to throw you a bone. C'mon dude.

[LostOne1]

Of course not, and I know you were the one who was pushing for me to do it. Wishing that I did it then, but can't understand why I can't do it now.. Well when I do eventually block it, I'm sure I'll end up making a thread about it lol.

 

It really is funny how worked up we can get over the smallest thing. She is literally thinking nothing of this. "oh I haven't spoken to him in a while.. I hope he doesn't hate me. let me see what he's up to" *sends a text* "No response? oh well whatever, he's a jerk anyway" *continues with her life*

 

to me? "OH MY GOD! WHAT DO I DO? RED ALERT RED ALERT!"

yeah we do get over worked I remember how much of an emotional wreck I was...

 

But after going through it I think next time I'll be better prepared now. My attitude now is I will still love someone and show it. But I won't bow down to someone wanting out of a relationship with me. I'll gladly open the door if they want to walk out.

 

I'm better than that and anyone that REALLY loves me would see that and not break up. But rather would sit down and talk and tell me what bothers them etc..

[na49]

Reading posts like yours Simon, are what helps me push the false hope and the "wanting her back" feelings away. Because everything you're saying is truth. I haven't been moping around or been depressed about it lately, but the little bit of hope is annoying. I'll seriously reread that post every time the feelings become too much if I have to. The bad has been more recent than the good, so I shouldn't live in the past. I'm trying to keep everything in front of me and see her as the manipulative b*tch that she is, who did nothing but abuse my trust and lie to my face multiple times. Loyal my ass..

 

I'm actually happy that I'm going through this now. I definitely won't be this bad for my next relationship. (if I am, I'll give myself permission to punch myself once I realize it) This has been a learning experience for me, it's just taking me a long time to actually use the information I've learned.

 

Probably over analyzing things, but this should be the last you'll hear about her from me for a while so bare with me. Tomorrow we have our final. Some people may show up early, some people may show up as soon as it starts. Would you recommend I get to my seat a little earlier (hoping to get there before she shows up) or does it not really matter considering she probably won't say anything to me anyway. She sits behind me, so getting to my seat would be a little awkward. It's already awkward enough as it is. Luckily after I finish my final, I can jet right out of there.

[Simon Phoenix]

No worries, that's what this forum is for, for people to vent because we've exhausted our real life friends by talking about this stuff. Don't feel bad about posting. As far as tomorrow is concerned, look at it like just another day. Don't make it into some epic confrontation. Do what you would normally do and if she approaches you, be polite but brief.

 

First time I interacted with my ex in person she was cold, snotty, going out of her way to act like the jilted one, making snide comments about everything I was doing and just generally acting annoyed with me despite the fact that I wasn't doing anything abnormal. Occasionally she'd break character and smile or laugh at something I said, but she was acting like an alien. I didn't react to it at all and ignored it, which seemed to annoy her more because I wasn't chomping on the bait and giving her ammunition to paint me as the a--hole. She ended up going from fake frustrated (or at least somewhat-contrived frustrated) to actually frustrated while I was being my smug self.

 

Point is, don't build this up. Do your thing like you normally do. That'll throw her off even more than you trying to scurry out early. It's just another day man.