JosephMacri Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I am a straight married man, but I did a stupid thing a couple weeks ago. I travel in my job and was out of town. I got chatting with an older gentleman at the bar. I had a weird attraction to him from the start. He asked me if I wanted to hang out in his room and continue our conversation. We grabbed a couple of beers to go and headed to his room. In the elevator he took my hand and told me he could tell I was very aroused. I had a huge erection! I told him I was not gay and he said he knew that, but I could still enjoy his attention. He performed oral sex on me to orgasm. Not even my wife has ever done that. I let him perform anal sex on me without a condom. When he was done, I reached behind and touched him as if to say I enjoyed it. I want to hook up with him again when I return. Am I bisexual? I have no desire to penetrate him, but I did enjoy taking him inside me. Has anyone else experienced this?
BetrayedH Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I am a straight married man, but I did a stupid thing a couple weeks ago. I travel in my job and was out of town. I got chatting with an older gentleman at the bar. I had a weird attraction to him from the start. He asked me if I wanted to hang out in his room and continue our conversation. We grabbed a couple of beers to go and headed to his room. In the elevator he took my hand and told me he could tell I was very aroused. I had a huge erection! I told him I was not gay and he said he knew that, but I could still enjoy his attention. He performed oral sex on me to orgasm. Not even my wife has ever done that. I let him perform anal sex on me without a condom. When he was done, I reached behind and touched him as if to say I enjoyed it. I want to hook up with him again when I return. Am I bisexual? I have no desire to penetrate him, but I did enjoy taking him inside me. Has anyone else experienced this? I haven't but I would say that you need to have a conversation with your wife. Please don't place her at risk for STDs. She also deserves the respect of being able to make an informed decision about her own life. Talk with her. 6
Steen719 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 BH's reply is good advice. I also wanted to mention that you might get some posters who are experienced in this in the Gender and Sexual Identity threads. Good luck.
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I am a straight married man, but I did a stupid thing a couple weeks ago. I travel in my job and was out of town. I got chatting with an older gentleman at the bar. I had a weird attraction to him from the start. He asked me if I wanted to hang out in his room and continue our conversation. We grabbed a couple of beers to go and headed to his room. In the elevator he took my hand and told me he could tell I was very aroused. I had a huge erection! I told him I was not gay and he said he knew that, but I could still enjoy his attention. He performed oral sex on me to orgasm. Not even my wife has ever done that. I let him perform anal sex on me without a condom. When he was done, I reached behind and touched him as if to say I enjoyed it. I want to hook up with him again when I return. Am I bisexual? I have no desire to penetrate him, but I did enjoy taking him inside me. Has anyone else experienced this? I do think you need to tell your wife and have an STD test done since you had anal sex without a condom. You are cheating on your wife and fact that that you want to do it again with him just shows that it's time to figure out what the next step is in your marriage. You may not be gay but bi curious and now that you've experienced this, you want more. Think a head, the lifestyle..Not just the sex or living with a male, having a guy as a boyfriend. How does that make you feel? 1
pteromom Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Are you happy in your marriage? Are you sexually attracted to your wife? Do you take your vows seriously? Do you value faithfulness? If it is about penetration rather than an attraction to men, is there a way to incorporate that into your sex life with your wife? Would she be up for pegging? Other than this one instance, have you ever been attracted to a man? 3
pteromom Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 And - anal sex without a condom with a guy who picks up men in hotels? NOT GOOD. You need to be tested, and you need to use a condom with your wife. You do not want to pass a disease on to her. 3
Realist3 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 Nope, I have never experienced anything like that. I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark here given what you posted, so don't be offended. You might be bi-sexual, but you just as well might be a gay man who is married to a woman. The reason I say that is because you went from 0-100 in one night. Surely, if you allowed a guy to give you a BJ and then anal sex who is a stranger, this was not the first idea you have had that you were attracted to men. I have several gay friends and some BI, and it is not something that just "pops" up all of the sudden. Parden the pun. 2
Mr. Lucky Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I am a straight married man He performed oral sex on me to orgasm. Not even my wife has ever done that. I let him perform anal sex on me without a condom. When he was done, I reached behind and touched him as if to say I enjoyed it. I want to hook up with him again when I return. Joseph, even you should be able to see the contradiction between these two parts of your post. As LadyGrey said, straight men don't get picked up by and engage in sex with other men. And having done so once, they don't long to do it again. In a forum where one big challenge often seems insurmountable, your marriage faces two - your infidelity and confusion over your sexuality. Do you love your wife? Trust her? Then come clean with her and involve her in the major decisions you have to make. Not only do you need to decide if you want to be married (and her to you), you need to determine if your future partners will be men, women or both. Talk honestly with her and let us know how it goes... Mr. Lucky 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) To answer the question in your OP, a large percentage of straight men have had at least one consensual anal encounter with another man. Because of the stigma, no one realized how common it was until HIV came along. In fact, at one point, that was the most common route for women to get HIV infected--their male partner/spouse had sex with a highly promiscuous gay male (only once, if they were to be believed). Most guys aren't open about this sort of thing...and from the reactions you're getting here, you can probably guess why. No, that one man does not make you gay or bisexual. Still it might be worth taking a step back and examining what gender(s) you are generally attracted to. Many people sit somewhere on the continuum and not at either extreme. BTW, incredibly poor judgement to have unprotected anal sex! What on earth were you thinking when you chose not to use a condom?!? No doubt that man picks up guys in hotel bars all the time. And if he didn't use protection with you, rest assured he's unlikely to use protection with all the other men he is with. Dumb, dumb choice! If you suddenly start using condoms with your wife, she'll KNOW you cheated. If you're not going to confess, avoid sex altogether until you're been tested now...and for HIV, again in six months. Edited December 14, 2012 by Cutiepie1976
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Most guys aren't open about this sort of thing...and from the reactions you're getting here, you can probably guess why. No the beef here is the fact that he is married and cheated on his wife. If he was single and did this, good for him - It's a sexual experience and something that he could pursue and do more of...But he isn't single. If he wants more experiences with men then he needs to divorce his wife or tell her the truth so she can decide if she's okay with having an open marriage.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 No the beef here is the fact that he is married and cheated on his wife. If he was single and did this, good for him - It's a sexual experience and something that he could pursue and do more of...But he isn't single. If he wants more experiences with men then he needs to divorce his wife or tell her the truth so she can decide if she's okay with having an open marriage. Look, I realize this forum is populated primarily with betrayed spouses, most still very angry from what they've experienced. You gave him your input. I gave him mine. I didn't comment on the validity of your feedback or the sick/disgusted emoticons other posters opted to use. I'm really not interested in whether you, or anyone else for that matter, approves of my feedback to the OP. His question asks about orientation and others' experiences. He did not ask about his wife or marriage.
BetrayedH Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 He posted on an infidelity forum and the title indicates that he was unfaithful. Discussing that he cheated on his wife (with whomever) seems relevant. That said, I appreciate your liberal/non-judgmental views about gender preference and for what it's worth, it gave me pause and made me look at my own bit of homophobia. While I'm extraordinarily tolerant in my day to day life of just about anyone's preferences as long as they don't hurt anyone, I'm not well-versed at this topic. I think you have a voice to be heard here. I just think the infidelity is a valid conversation, too. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 To answer the question in your OP, a large percentage of straight men have had at least one consensual anal encounter with another man. What??? Define "large percentage". If it's higher than single digits, I'd be amazed... Mr. Lucky
aed Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Look, I realize this forum is populated primarily with betrayed spouses, most still very angry from what they've experienced. You gave him your input. I gave him mine. I didn't comment on the validity of your feedback or the sick/disgusted emoticons other posters opted to use. I'm really not interested in whether you, or anyone else for that matter, approves of my feedback to the OP. His question asks about orientation and others' experiences. He did not ask about his wife or marriage. I can believe that some straight men have sex with gay men. Women experiment allot with other women (and we don't claim that those women are bi or gay!!) So I can follow your way of thinking. But I don't see why he shouldn't tell his wife. That are two subjects around one event!
TaraMaiden Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 The OP hasn't been back...is this a fantasy T-Post.....?
NervisPervis Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Troll. I'm not buying it. MAYBE, until he said he enjoyed letting the man penetrate from behind. I'm guessing a lot of soul searching goes on before a man let's another man enter him in the buttox for the first time. But deciding on an UNPROTECTED "what the heck?" bum-f'k with an older man while sitting at a bar? When there was never even a HINT of homoerotic thoughts prior? Nope. Troll. Women have varying degrees of sexuality. Men don't. I don't even buy male bisexuality.
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