Quick question on whether to text or not

[TooPatient]

I've been talking to a girl I met online for about a week. We skyped Sunday night and then discussed meeting on both Thursday and Sunday of this week. (I thought her suggesting 2 dates was a good indication she felt good about me)

 

Monday evening, I went to sleep early and missed her saying "Hi" on Skype. (I went to sleep at 8pm, was super tired)

 

So yesterday I sent her a text when I woke up, apologizing for missing her message. I got nothing back from her. I was on my laptop last night hoping she'd send a message, but nope. I heard nothing from her.

 

I'm going to contact her just once more. I've only texted her the one time, so it's not like I'm being clingy, might be the opposite. So I'm going to text her once more in a bit. Something like "good morning, hope everything's ok, missed chatting with you yesterday!"

Tonight I may send a "hello" on Skype too, regardless of whether I hear back. If I get nothing from either, it's fine and I'll move on, I just felt she was the best match of anyone I talked to on the dating site.

 

Any suggestions? I realize there's not much I can do and I'm likely over-thinking this.

[veggirl]

no don't text her, wait til you see her on Skype tonight or call her. You're allowed to try twice with no response, not three times!

[TooPatient]

Well crap, I already sent her a text. Haven't heard back, so I'm not going to bother with sending any message on Skype later. Chalk this one up as a loss unless she contacts me.

 

Thanks for the reply Veg!

[jcrew11]

You should send the message on Skype as well.

 

She thinks you are ignoring her on Skype so its best to prove you are not ignoring her.

 

If you were sleeping, then why would your Skype be on or why is your computer on? Turnoff your computer and save electricity when you go to sleeep.

[Divasu]

Did you guys make firm plans for your date tomorrow and Sunday?

[Cutiepie1976]

My thinking exactly! I hope you had concrete plans (time, place, etc.) locked down when you skyped last Sunday.

 

I generally respond in the medium the message was sent.

 

I take it you have contacted her twice now since sleeping through her skype message? If you have concrete plans for Thursday, I would contact her the day before, at a time you think she might be free, to confirm your date. If she doesn't pick up, leave a brief message listing the details you'd already agreed to with her. Example: Looking forward to seeing you at xyz at 7 pm. I was thinking we could meet outside by the front door since the weather isn't too cold. Let me know if that works for you.

 

In your shoes, I would probably text (maybe call if the person isn't a texter) confirmations. Skype seems a little over the top for that to me when you'll be seeing the person in 24 hours, but that's just me.

 

Other than that confirmation message, I wouldn't continue to contact her. Give her a chance to respond first.

[TooPatient]

Wow thanks for the feedback! Unfortunately we didn't set anything in stone for tomorrow or Sunday. We had a few days to decide, but looking back I wish we did. I do probably waste too much energy, I leave my laptop on & it falls asleep. The message popped up on my phone so I would've gotten it either way. My Skype is usually on but I'm not sure I should message her. We were texting fine during the day before I missed her message later that evening. I can't think of y she'd not reply, maybe she met someone else she thinks is a better fit...idk.

[Divasu]

I thought her suggesting 2 dates was a good indication she felt good about me

 

Unfortunately we didn't set anything in stone for tomorrow or Sunday.

 

I wonder how that ball dropped? Ploop!

[TooPatient]

Right?! My name fits all too perfect here. In my defense, I had no reason to think I only had less than 24 hours from that skype conversation to get something set.

 

Fortunately I've gotten a couple of other numbers and both seem open to meeting. Now what? These two are pretty equal as far as my attraction level. Should I make a new thread? lol

[jcrew11]

Wow thanks for the feedback! Unfortunately we didn't set anything in stone for tomorrow or Sunday. We had a few days to decide, but looking back I wish we did. I do probably waste too much energy, I leave my laptop on & it falls asleep. The message popped up on my phone so I would've gotten it either way. My Skype is usually on but I'm not sure I should message her. We were texting fine during the day before I missed her message later that evening. I can't think of y she'd not reply, maybe she met someone else she thinks is a better fit...idk.

 

She thinks your seeing other women.

If my girlfriend or boyfriend didn't respond at 8 pm, I would think she/he would be talking to other women and purposely avoiding my calls.

Most guys are labeled as cheating players and dogs whether its true or not.

Just be sincere about "apologizing for the missed calls" - Girls go nuts whenever missed calls are not returned.

[TooPatient]

Yeah I thought of that too. It really doesn't look good disappearing for an evening after steady chatting/texting. Live and learn..

 

Wow, another one just bit the dust. At least she was honest and said she feels I live too far. I live in northwest Indiana and have been looking in Chicago. It's a good 45-50 min drive depending on what part of the city and traffic.

I had a 3 year relationship with a girl in the western burbs, an hour away. I really liked the "weekend relationship" setup. She was just 22 when that started tho. This is why I'm 33 and haven't been married..

[Divasu]

In my defense, I had no reason to think I only had less than 24 hours from that skype conversation to get something set.

 

True. But when you discussed meeting on both Thursday and Sunday of this week, how come it was left up in the air?

 

Especially considering this:

(I thought her suggesting 2 dates was a good indication she felt good about me)

 

That's where you dropped the ball. A good response to that would have been "yes, I'd really like that, how about we meet at ----- at 5pm". Or, if you needed to check your schedule a response could have been, "yes, I'd really like that, how about I call you on Tuesday so we can finalize it".

 

What seems to have happened instead, is your analyzing texts when you should have been paying more attention to (a) the interest she displayed in you when she mentioned seeing you; (b) bridging the gap.

[Cutiepie1976]

What's wrong with the women in northwest Indiana? Why go all the way to Chicago?

[veggirl]

She thinks your seeing other women.

If my girlfriend or boyfriend didn't respond at 8 pm, I would think she/he would be talking to other women and purposely avoiding my calls.

Most guys are labeled as cheating players and dogs whether its true or not.

Just be sincere about "apologizing for the missed calls" - Girls go nuts whenever missed calls are not returned.

 

WTF? One missed phone call and all of a sudden she would think he is seeing other women? The OP and this chick haven't even MET! He is allowed to have a life outside of her, I mean you chat with someone for a week and suddenly you are expected to be at home available every night for them?

 

If you would really jump to the conclusion that a person you have known for a week is seeing someone else because they missed ONE phone call, you are very insecure and strange. That is a huge leap to make. 8pm, people could be doing anything....out for dinner, out for a drink, at a sports event, at some sort of league they are in , etc...the possibilities are endless.

[TooPatient]

Idk what else to say about that first one other than it seemed we'd be chatting each day and had plenty of time to finalize exactly what we'd do on those dates. My bad!

Only that girl knows why she quit texting. If she was that offended that I wasn't around to chat the next night or she felt I was on another date...who knows? Since she's from Chicago, maybe she mapquested where I live and realized it's further than she initially thought. (I told them I'm only a half hour from the city, which is true, but I'm just a half hour from the southside, it can take another 30+ mins depending on traffic to get to the north side where these girls stay) It's just speculation at this point...and I'm past it honestly.

 

My friends disagree, but I have no problems with the women in northwest Indiana. They say these girls are trashy, but that's a broad generalization of all the women in the area. Many if not most have kids, which is to be expected at my age. (early 30s) While I'm open to kids, my preference would be no kids. But like I said previously, I like the weekend relationship set up that comes with dating someone who lives nearly an hour away. It's not so I can cheat during the week, it's just that I tend to enjoy my space more than most people. If I meet a great girl that lives close, that's fine with me. I have messaged girls closer to me and did get a potential date in the same city...but I also messaged many in Chicago b/c obviously there's more women/options there...and I got more replies from Chicago.

[todreaminblue]

no don't text her, wait til you see her on Skype tonight or call her. You're allowed to try twice with no response, not three times!

 

 

 

yes i agree three times, dont go there its a trinity of nos...i agree...i have this thing with three.....

[TooPatient]

No worries, I'm not going to contact her again. Monday was when she sent that message and I haven't heard from her since. I'm not the type to keep texting/chasing.