Author UCFKevin Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 Very few people who are FROM CA appreciate sarcasm, the girl who told me about looking stuck up is from here and also agrees that there are damn few people who are sarcastic and understand it and appreciate it.
shamen Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Oh, I guess that I should have mentioned that the guy that I freaked out was not from this country. Probably why he didn't get it. He tells people about our meeting all the time! So, what do you think of my suggestion on being the approachee a little more often? Not that you're doing poorly, obviously, because you seem to be getting girl's numbers or giving yours out on a somewhat regular basis. Smiling sometimes at women you think are cute wouldn't be a bad suggestion either, so they at least know that they could approach you if they could just muster up the courage. I know that I'm somewhat guilty of this too: not enough smiling! But yeah, smiling too much would certainly make you look dorky!
Author UCFKevin Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 Not that you're doing poorly, obviously, because you seem to be getting girl's numbers or giving yours out on a somewhat regular basis. Whoa! That couldn't be more wrong. Anyway, yeah. I'm being more approachable, I think, smiling a little more, saying hi, simple stuff like that. Baby steps!
jmargel Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Dude, if you expect women to approach you, you aren't going to get very far in life. If you like a chick and she seems different from the rest of the crowd then go for her. Alot of women are still traditional in the sense that they like to be approached first, unless you find a very outgoing one. You also need to pick up on the suttle hints they give. Don't try to dress to impress, that won't go far. Chicks can pick up a fake.
shamen Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Well, it seems like whenever I check in with one of your posts you are getting some girl's number. Maybe I'm remembering incorrectly. Sorry! Good luck on your becoming more approachable! You deserve someone good in your life.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 Dude, if you expect women to approach you, you aren't going to get very far in life. At least when it comes to women approaching me...it ain't the be all end all of existence...
snilljente Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Funny, I used to work with the girl who wore the thickest coke bottle glasses that I could never tell where she was looking....so when I walked by her, I couldn't tell if she was looking at me or something/somebody else.....so sometimes, if I didn't think she was looking at me, I wouldn't say hi....she told someone that I was stuck up and I was so hurt...I was shy and much more insecure at that time (years ago), but this really surprised me....Also, guys have told me that I need to smile more and that I will seem much more approachable if/when I do...life is weird.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 14, 2004 Author Posted August 14, 2004 Well, I've kinda changed my tune a little, being more approachable, I guess, and it's working gangbusters.
coffinburner Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 Dude, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm shy, and can't fathom the fact of approaching a woman. I love women dearly, but I tend to get mixed messages from'em a lot. I used to be more out-going than I am now, but after getting burned so many times having approached them, it's lowered my self-esteem ( as far as women are concerned). This one girl I used to work with always told me, "you should smile more." I never paid that any attention. But through time I noticed that all the other guys were getting more attention from the girls that worked there, and all I was getting were looks...dirty looks...from the girls. I ain't a stuck-up guy. Just extremely shy, but only around women. Around guys I can be myself, and laugh, crack jokes, be loud, but as soon as a girl comes around I tense up. I think that sometimes women put men under microscopes to analyze and observe and it's hard to be myself around you guys. Can the women (and guys) put their two-cents in and try to help out?
tokyo Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 Why don´t *you* look at the girls and make some first step? If you know you are good-looking and sufficiently nice, why don´t you do something? Your chances are good and if they don´t come to you, you will have to go to them. Good looks can make other people uncomfortable and judge you before they know you, but then again ugly people have their problems, too. Ok, I´ll say something nice for the road I´m shy, too, and I have problems start talking with a guy, I also got told I´m attractive, so probably in order to find someone I would also have to make some steps which I don´t do - bad, very bad. You´ll end up waiting till you´re dead or someone picks you up and then you´re so desperate that you take anything. I met some playboys, they´re more bold, but they break your heart. I don´t know though, maybe men like to be picked up by playmates
surfergirl Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 Hey coffinburner start slowly. Everything in life starts with baby steps. I too was once shy but I made up my mind to change that - and it worked. I started with one person at a time until now - I'm no longer shy around strangers. Just remember it takes all kinds of people to make up this world of ours and not everyone is going to respond in a positive manner but don't give up because there will be more people that will want to know you than not - you can never have too many friends. Good luck
Iris Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 I'm also guilty of walking around with a "poker face". I can't help it. What are you supposed to do? Grin like an idiot? That said, I'm fully aware that looking more friendly makes SUCH a difference to how people interact with you and when I feel like it I can moderate the way I look - i.e. I try to look a little less severe and more relaxed - smile a bit more and acknowledge people. I once did an experiment where I went out of my way to look more happy and approachable and the difference it made was unbelieveable. That said, I have a real problem with having to "act" my way through life. If I want to look like a miserable b*stard, I'll look like a miserable b*stard. Ha. Then again - I think I REALLY just need to lighten up! Oh, and sarcasm can only be a good thing. It is at the core of my very existance. I am a Brit though. Over here we begin classes in cultivating sarcasm at the age of two (okay, so we don't really).
surfergirl Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 Iris.... smile That's much better. Please don't be a miserable b*stard - because you'll only attract miserable b*tch's - I'm relationship retarded (my new word that I really like) too but I don't think that you want a miserable "B" to hang with - do you???? I guess ya'll could be miserable together?? To "look" happy - you have to be happy on the inside - right? So what's your passion in life? What makes you really really happy?
Mr Spock Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 AHA!!!!!! The avatar you have now is MUCH more vince vaughn then ben affleck. You thought I was crazy. I heard socal is one of the hardest places to date in the U.S. Besides prison, that is.
MadamSwirl Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 UFCKevo... MadamSwirl says that the women are intimidated by your looks. Some men stare because there is something that intrigues the man. MadamSwirl thinks that you set their loins afire. Continue to smile! MadamSwirl thinks this will intimidate admirers less. Good luck!
rubie Posted August 21, 2004 Posted August 21, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin And I also seem to walk around not looking happy. Am I supposed to walk around smiling all the time? I can't change how I look! Can I? Yes and Yes
coffinburner Posted August 23, 2004 Posted August 23, 2004 I'm starting to understand that appearing to be "approachable" is key. But what's a person to do, walk around and with a non-stop smile all the time? I mean I have no problem with smiling, but how would one know when to?
snilljente Posted August 23, 2004 Posted August 23, 2004 I'm gonna start walking around with a freakin permagrin from now on!! I am sick of guys not approaching me.....and then people saying...YOU don't have a boyfriend...but you are SO...bla bla bla...maybe the permagrin will make me more approachable....to you guys that mention how difficult it is to approach girls....I am just wondering from a girl's perspective, don't some guys find it intimidating when a girl approaches them..i.e. the girl seems to confident....I am TOLD (who knows what to believe any more! that because I am supposedly attractive, successful, with my own house, bla bla bla...that I may be intimidating to guys....BUT, if I am not going to approach them and they are not approaching me at the rate I would like...what's a girl to do....why does this stuff have to be so complicated.....I just want to meet a great guy who is honest, loyal and wants to share life's adventures...
Author UCFKevin Posted August 24, 2004 Author Posted August 24, 2004 It's funny, when I smile at people here, it's like they don't know how to react. You've seen those bumper sticks, "Smile, it'll confuse them," or whatever? True as all hell, especially in Hollywood/LA. Everyone's used to walking around with a scowl or look of disinterest and seeing others do the same, and when you smile at them, they seriously don't know what the hell to do. The other day, I said hi to this girl and she looked at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead. To quote Randy Newman, I LOVE LA!
sillysally Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 Some people who have big egos think that even a smile and a hello means that you're hitting on them! People should just be friendly in general, it's not that common in New York. Everyone walks around with a scowl and if you are just randomly friendly they get suspicious.
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin It's funny, when I smile at people here, it's like they don't know how to react. You've seen those bumper sticks, "Smile, it'll confuse them," or whatever? True as all hell, especially in Hollywood/LA. Everyone's used to walking around with a scowl or look of disinterest and seeing others do the same, and when you smile at them, they seriously don't know what the hell to do. The other day, I said hi to this girl and she looked at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead. To quote Randy Newman, I LOVE LA! I have no idea who are you meeting here in Los Angeles, most of the people here are so nice and quick to help others, especially in Hollywood. Sure people can be a little "weird" but I cannot imagine most of them walking around all grumpy or with a scowl. And I for example know exactly what to do when someone smiles at me! You make it sound so atrocious to live here!
moimeme Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 I wonder if it's a gender thing? It's a scarier prospect to smile at a strange man who's smiling at you than it is to smile at a strange woman who's smiling at you. I found folks in Hollywood and elsewhere in LA were very friendly, too, but I'm also female.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 25, 2004 Author Posted August 25, 2004 It's in West Hollywood that I encounter these people who seem to have forgotten how to smile. Of course there are PLENTY of people who absolutely counteract what I've said, very friendly and nice people who smile a lot, but you have to admit, living here, you see people who walk around as if the world could end any minute and they wouldn't really give a crap because they're above caring about it.
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin It's in West Hollywood that I encounter these people who seem to have forgotten how to smile. Of course there are PLENTY of people who absolutely counteract what I've said, very friendly and nice people who smile a lot, but you have to admit, living here, you see people who walk around as if the world could end any minute and they wouldn't really give a crap because they're above caring about it. I think it's just like any other place, it has some nice sociable people and it has rude people. I don't think that it's over populated with discourteous people whatsoever. living here, you see people who walk around as if the world could end any minute and they wouldn't really give a crap because they're above caring about it It's not only here that you come across with those type of people, anywhere you go you will encounter individuals with this attitude. I think that it's just a stereotype that people attach to Hollywood/Los Angeles. They think that we are so full of ourselves, but it's quite the contrary. Maybe you just send a bad vibe. Hope you meet nicer people in the future
Author UCFKevin Posted August 25, 2004 Author Posted August 25, 2004 You must be from here. People who are from here are very defensive of Los Angeles when the whole narcissism aspect is brought up. I'd say there are more people in Hollywood who are full of themselves than there are in, say, Hackensack, New Jersey. Like I said before, though, there are plenty of good people here. But you shouldn't act like there aren't the people who fit the complete stereotype.
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