UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 So I was on a set today and got to befriend a few girls, and I mentioned how when I'm at Target working, I get tons of guys checking me out but absolutely no girls. One of them dropped a bombshell on me. "You look stuck up." I was f*cking floored. Apparently, and I quote, I look like I'm the type of guy who's completely full of himself and knows he's hot and is probably an a**h*** and that's very deterrent to women. Now, obviously, of course, I'm not that type of guy WHATSOEVER, and they all acknowledged that, having met me and talked to me, but they said initially that's what they thought, that I'd be "too good" for them or something. Plus my sarcasm is kind of a throw off, too, doesn't help matters. So holy s***. What the hell do I do about THAT?! The sarcasm thing, well, I wouldn't want a girl who can't handle my sarcasm or throw it right back, I've met a few girls who can do this and it's great fun, but a HUGE amount of girls out here don't understand it whatsoever, I think it's more of an East coast thing. Curious. And I also seem to walk around not looking happy. Am I supposed to walk around smiling all the time? Anyhoo, I guess I did something right 'cuz one of the girls, we were sitting in the stands in a Bandstand scene on that American Dreams show (I talked to that Brittany Snow chick, we're both from Tampa, that was my in, sweet girl) and me and the girl talked for a little bit before and later in the night she was in front of me and leaned against my knees and I gave her a massage and stopped and she was like, "What are you doing? Don't stop!" so I kept doing it, and at the end of the night she asked for my phone number, which hasn't happened in ages, and was also pretty goddamn cool 'cuz she was one of the hottest chicks there. Yay! So, yeah. That's what's up, I suppose. I appear stuck up. I gotta figure out what the hell to do about that. I can't change how I look! Can I?
FreeMe Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 That sucks! When I was in high school I got acused of being a snob when actually I was extremely shy and had a hard time even saying hello to people. At 15, having someone publicly call me a snob when I was new in school and all that was devastating! (I went to the nurse's office bathroom and cried!) If that's the impression you're giving, I think you'll have to go out of your way to be more friendly and you'll probably have to approach women more even if they're not checking you out. Look on the bright side, if women are thinking you're probably full of yourself, obviously they also think you're hot or you wouldn't have a reason to be full of yourself. Most would probably be flattered to have a guy like you approach them. Good Luck!
EC Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I hope she loses your number...... Sorry the bunny made me say that~~~~> <~~~They are evil. But seriously it's true. If I see a guy thats looks really confident and serious but he looked hot I wouldn't approach him. I would think he looks like a guy that knows what he wants I'll wait to see if he comes up to me. Also some women check out guys on the sly and so you'll never know. We are good at it. So even if you don't see women wiping the drool from their mouths when you pass them by...they probably did look you just didn't catch it. I had that same problem and so now I just smile more. But in HS oh man lol...I had to wear glasses and I wasn't allowed to get contacts yet because according to my mother I was too young. Well I wouldn't wear my glasses because I felt dumb so I would walk through the halls squinting at everyone. People would wave and I would walk right by them and everyone thought I was looking at them the wrong way but really I was squinting because I couldn't see them. So everyone that didn't already know me thought I was a stuck up B*tch who didn't say hi to anyone. Kev you have a pretty smile...and I know you have confidence because I know that you know you look good. Why wait for women to approach you? If you see something you like go get it! I'm pretty sure you shouldn't have a problem.
quankanne Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 You come across as sarcastic in person? That's hard to believe -- you seem so laid back on this forum. Laid back with a bit of a quirky sense of humor. My first thought to your "why don't the chicks approach me?" was the "he's too cute, and I'm too shy" response. Most girls like looking at cute guys, but don't feel secure enough to talk to them, they suddenly become shy. I used to be like that in college, and sometimes revert to that if I've got a cute young guy trying to provide customer service -- I just turn 14 and tongue-tied all over again. I know Californians have a reputation of being laid back, but I'll stick to my "oh my gosh it's a cute boy and he's talking to me!" theory stay cool, Kev, they'll start flocking before long -- especially once they start to know you some
faux Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I have never known anyone to actually appreciate sarcasm, unless it is limited purely to literature. I have noticed that most people tend to view sarcasm as a negative trait. For myself, I take nearly everything seriously so sarcasm is not understood by me in dialog with other persons. As for looking stuck up, I am in that boat. When I started to get money, lose weight, and get into shape, I dressed nicer. Going from this super grungy type guy to someone who looks "Preppy" as everyone insists, people automatically assume I'm full of myself. Even some persons I used to consider friends insist I have this huge ego, because now I have a few things going for me. During the Autumn I always go all out — nice leather boots, leather jackets and coats, leather gloves, my Djarum Black cigarettes — and everyone calls me "rich kid" and such. Apparently, I can't have my own style that I like without having a "huge ego", being "stuck up" or being "rich". I do wish I was rich though! The funny thing is that I am actually quite critical of myself, so when people say these things I don't know whether they are joking or not. Again, I have difficulty picking out sarcasm unless it is written down, and even then I have problems with it.
HokeyReligions Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin So I was on a set today and got to befriend a few girls, and I mentioned how when I'm at Target working, I get tons of guys checking me out but absolutely no girls. One of them dropped a bombshell on me. "You look stuck up." I was f*cking floored. Apparently, and I quote, I look like I'm the type of guy who's completely full of himself and knows he's hot and is probably an a**h*** and that's very deterrent to women. Now, obviously, of course, I'm not that type of guy WHATSOEVER, and they all acknowledged that, having met me and talked to me, but they said initially that's what they thought, that I'd be "too good" for them or something. Plus my sarcasm is kind of a throw off, too, doesn't help matters. So holy s***. What the hell do I do about THAT?! Continue to be yourself! Approach the girls you want and smile more! The sarcasm thing, well, I wouldn't want a girl who can't handle my sarcasm or throw it right back, I've met a few girls who can do this and it's great fun, but a HUGE amount of girls out here don't understand it whatsoever, I think it's more of an East coast thing. Curious. My husband is like that. When we met the thing that he said sent him over the edge to fall in love with me is that I can dish it out as well as take it! Sarcasm is my friend! Sometimes people will hear us and thing we must despise each other but that's when we are having the most fun! It's darn difficult to express in words because so many times (especially on a forum like this) it will be taken totally the wrong way! And I also seem to walk around not looking happy. Am I supposed to walk around smiling all the time? Well, smile sometimes. Also, look at how you hold yourself when you walk. Do some serious people watching and look at body posture and facial expression. Look at how people stand and how they walk. Without over analyzing, ask youself "does s/he look happy? sad? busy? has a lot on their mind? bored? angry? carefree?" and then look for those traits in yourself. People used to tell me I looked mad all the time because I never smiled and my face never changed expression. I seemed hard or cold. I started to tilt my head when I hear something, or smile a bit or just relax the way I walk and the way I look at what is around me. Very subtle - but it made a BIG difference. You are an actor -- observe and imitate and if you want to make some changes in yourself, find something that is comfortable for you. Anyhoo, I guess I did something right 'cuz one of the girls, we were sitting in the stands in a Bandstand scene on that American Dreams show (I talked to that Brittany Snow chick, we're both from Tampa, that was my in, sweet girl) and me and the girl talked for a little bit before and later in the night she was in front of me and leaned against my knees and I gave her a massage and stopped and she was like, "What are you doing? Don't stop!" so I kept doing it, and at the end of the night she asked for my phone number, which hasn't happened in ages, and was also pretty goddamn cool 'cuz she was one of the hottest chicks there. Yay! So, yeah. That's what's up, I suppose. I appear stuck up. I gotta figure out what the hell to do about that. I can't change how I look! Can I? Has she called you yet? Did you get her number?
savethedrama4allama Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 You--look stuck up? Well Kevin, you DO have a picture of yourself winking as your chosen image on this forum. Before that, if I recall, it was a sassy shot of you in a hat. And you do make comments on your resemblence to Ben Affleck. I can see how people might think you are conceited. That doesn't mean that you are though. I have the same problem, people think I'm a b*tch until they get to know me. I guess all we can do is relish in the fact that people will like us that much more when our nice personalities are a pleasant surprise.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Author Posted August 12, 2004 Well Kevin, you DO have a picture of yourself winking as your chosen image on this forum. Before that, if I recall, it was a sassy shot of you in a hat. And you do make comments on your resemblence to Ben Affleck. What's that got to do with anything? Others have pics on here, is Faux full of himself, too? And I think I DON'T look like Ben Affleck. Anyway. She hasn't called yet, she just got my number last night, girls of all people won't call the next day, I doubt I'll hear from her anyway but I'm sure I'll see her again. Not a big deal, really. Sarcasm is a very interesting subject here. Some people just do not get it at all and think I'm being a rude bastard, but some others get it IMMEDIATELY and toss it right back, and that's exactly the kind of person that I love to talk to. I mean, yeah, I'm also very laid back too, and it all depends on the setting and my mood, but there's just something in me that makes me say s*** without thinking first, and it's usually pretty sarcastic or quick witted or somethin'. I dunno. Ah well.
Pocky Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I actually thought you were gay when I saw your picture so maybe that's why women don't approach you. (Kidding!.... - I'm an east coast girl and sarcasm/sense of humor is definitely a virtue. )
Author UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Author Posted August 12, 2004 That, of course, is definitely a possibility, given my location. The gay thing. It's funny when I meet a girl here who is sarcastic and appreciates it back. It's almost like..."Oh thank God, someone who doesn't take things as seriously as I do here!"
savethedrama4allama Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Funny, you didn't seem to pick up my sarcasm.
savethedrama4allama Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I have Ronald McDonald and Birdie for my avatar, for crissakes. Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Author Posted August 12, 2004 It almost looks like she's screwing him.
EC Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Tsk Tsk...Such a dirty mind... (they both look like they are enjoying it though;) They look like 'Yaaaaay')
savethedrama4allama Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Holy crap, I about fell out of my chair. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" Birdie is rubbing her avian musk upon Ronald's leg.
Author UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Author Posted August 12, 2004 "I want your special sauce!" I go too far.
savethedrama4allama Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Wonder if Ron will sport for a free happy meal for her? Is that too much for a bird to ask? Okay, I'm done now
EC Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 ROTFLMAO (face turning blue) BIRDIE: McDonald I'm Lovin it! (lol Song from commercial don't know if you've seen it) and I'm done too
SierraMist Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Or maybe u just look like Ben Afflick and girls think to themselves "Why would this good looking guy date me?"
Serendippy Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Being good-looking is your first crime - you'd be immediately suspect. Remember where you are - lots and lots of good-looking guys who do think they are all that. As for looking pleasant - yes, smile. A life counsellor person once said "enter every room as if it's your party and you're glad to see everyone there". You don't have to smile all the time, but just brighten up your look - aim for pleasant and sort of on the verge of a smile. I once got told I looked 'mean' so I rapidly repaired my expression. Now I'm mistaken for friendly all the time As for sarcasm - nothing better than a rapid-fire exchange of repartée. Keep it up - if nothing else, it's an excellent screening tool
Author UCFKevin Posted August 13, 2004 Author Posted August 13, 2004 Dyer! Hell! Serendippy, good point about the screening process.
shamen Posted August 13, 2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Hey Kevin, I think that I must agree with some of the other posters here. You are a very cute guy, therefore lots of women are going to think that because of that you are out of their league. I do approach men sometimes, but you I'd be afraid of for fear of rejection because I wasn't worthy, or something stupid. So, maybe you need to approach women a little more to show that you are not unapproachable. That said, I don't think that you look stuck up. Oh, sarcasm and humor... I am all about that. Being an East Coaster, maybe. What? Doesn't anybody appreciate it out in CA? They do in Seattle and Portland! But yeah, there have been a couple of times that my sarcasm has gotten me in some trouble. One of my good friends (now) upon meeting me was blasted with mine and he was so offended that we didn't speak for five months!
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