Long distance breakup

[Andy833]

3 weeks ago my ex broke up with me. we have known each other for just over 2 years. I am from england and she is from sweden

we met through online gaming and had an 8 month online relationship, at the time i was unemployed and we would be together playing this game all day everyday. we fell in love but in the end it died out because we both had no money and could not meet up and i guess there is only a certian amount of things you can do together online so the relationship got a little boring and stale.

she started spending more and more time with 2 guys she had met

it didnt bother me at the time but it got to the point when most of her focus was on these 2 guys and hardly any on me. I tried to discuss how that was making me feel sad and we argued about it. she decided she has had enough and ends the relationship. I tried the no contact but we spoke again 4 days after and then about a week after we spoke again and she said her friend is coming to stay. then nothing for 10 more days after that. then i found out she had invited one of the guys she had met to stay with her for 10 days. I was heart broken.

I confronted her about it and she said nothing happend and they was just friends and needed someone to talk to, i did not know what to believe at the time so i went NC and focused on my life because i had got a new job and was working out alot and made me love me again.

I found out some months later she was in a relationship with the 2nd guy out of the 2 she met and had gone to greece to stay with him.

i was a little sad but by that time my life was great and it did not really phase me, i just hoped she was happy.

 

so 7 months pass and we start talking again, we would stay up to 4am talking about what we had been doing and all the old feelings came flooding back as we talked about old times and fun adventures and things we used to say.

she was still in her relationship with the guy from greece but after a couple of weeks finished with him and got back together with me.

she definatly seen i had changed, good job good money, i was fit healthy tanned and was way more attractive to her than the first time we met.

I was determined to make it work between us this time and i gave it my all

we got back together last december and i visited her for the first time in march this year.

everything was amazing and when we was together it felt special.

over the rest of the year between april - october i had gone to visit 6 times

sometimes for weekends sometimes for 10 days to two weeks, worked my ass off to earn the money and worked even harder to finish work projects to be able to get the time off to be able to go and see her.

everything was perfect between us, no problems at all, we would lay together and she would confess her undying love for me and how she wanted me forever and i really believed it, we even went to ikea together to use vouchers on stuff for an apartment together, signed us up to a housing website so we could look at apartments together, we had planned for me to move there.

when i went back to england it was tough because we missed each other so much, we needed things to do together to keep the spark alive so we went back to this game we played where we first met each other, everything was fine until i got back from my last visit to sweden, she had joined a group in this game and started spending alot of time with a new guy friend she had just made, at the time i thought it was good that she was making friends and i had no problem with it.

I had to work super hard at work because we was really busy because i just had 10 days off to see her, also i had to buy tickets to sweden to see her for her birthday for a weekend in november and tickets for 2 weeks over christmas, they was not cheap. aswell as paying bills and buying christmas presents. the money issues was getting alot and was stressing me out with all the work i was putting in.

i would get home exhausted, after i had showerd eaten cleaned all i wanted was to sit down and speak with her and spend the few hours of the day i had with her. everytime i would get home she was with playing with this guy, at first it was ok with me but after a while it was impossible to make conversation and i felt she was giving me no one on one time, i wanted to come home and be with my girlfriend, not her friends. i tried to make her understand this but she got upset saying im trying to stop her having friends.

one day she leaves a group with this guy and his friend and joins me

her friends start to send me abusive messages because she told them i was complaining about her spending time with them.

i said to her that i didnt want her to hang around so much with these guys if they are going to be abusive towards me like that.

she continued to spend more and more time with this guy and his mate and less with me and we would argue. this was the first problem we had in the whole year we was back together.

when we met for the first time we had promised to work on any problem we have with communication and compromise.

we had 1 bad argument 4 days before i was supposed to visit and she finished it. deleted / blocked me from every internet program we made contact through.

i told her that we made this relationship real so you must talk to me face to face and give me some kind of closure or explanation but she said she didnt want me to come there

i said i was coming to get my clothes that i had left there and to give her a birthday card.

she still did not want to meet or talk about anything so i packed my bag and went there to try and fix things. i texted her to say i was coming and she text back and said she was going to leave my clothes in a bag outside the airport.

she refused to meet me all weekend so i walked to her place and posted the card. spoke to her dad and he was upset over the whole situation i asked if i could talk to her and he went to ask but she didnt want to, her family had thanked me for making her so happy, we said goodbye and he was in tears and said he loved me.

I basicly had the worst week of my life, by chance on the day i was flying back to england i was searching for busses to the airport and a bus goes past and i see her on the bus. i chased the bus down the road and knocked on the window and she saw me, she got off the next stop and we spoke for 10 mins.

i made the mistake by pleading with her but she said she had made her decision and it wont change. we hugged and said we love each other had a kiss and said goodbye.

i went back to england and stayed with my brother for a week, i had written a long email to her saying what had gone wrong and trying to make her understand how i was feeling, she just replyed and said its over and we will never be together again.

i spent the next week or so texting and emailing, not begging her back but just to talk about things and try to make her understand that all the money i had spent and all the hard work / extra work i had to do to be able to afford and have the time off to visit is worth more than 1 argument and i felt hard done by over everything i had done to "make her the happiest woman on the planet" (her words)

but she shut me out and hit delete like i was not real like i was nothing.

i got an email from her saying stop harassing my phone and email, i dont love you anymore, those feelings passed when you came here to stalk me, i dont want to hear from you again, have a nice life.

no conversation no detailed email no proper closure

 

and this is from someone that confessed her undying love for me called me the love of her life, the happiest she has ever been, best thing that ever happend to her, soulmate and wants to be together forever

 

how can she say all that and do this to me after all the money time effort hard work i put into our relationship i had spent between 4-5 thousand pounds to be there with her, i felt it was unfair and to lose everything i put in to come away with nothing made me lose my mind.

if it was a normal relationship i would have walked away and been done with it. its the fact i put in so much and now have nothing other than memories that makes it so hard to deal with.

i want to talk to her to make her understand, try to make her see my point of view and if she did the same efforts to be with me, how would it make her feel. but now i know if i send any text or email it will just be deleted. so yesterday i had enough and texted her saying i hated her for treating me this way. i still love her but now its past my limit and feel its very unfair after everything i put in.

 

we only had happy times together when i visited, all our fighting was done in text. if my time with her really was the best time of her life do you think she will miss it? do you think she was unfair on me? do you think over time she will appreciate the effort i put in? i am starting nc now, do you think its to late to rekindle anything in the future? my plan is not to contact for 6 months to a year unless she contacts me

 

I realise now if it carried on it would have been nothing more than what it was

maybe the strain of that was part of her decision but she wont talk to me right now so there are many unawnserd questions.

I set myself a goal of saving money learning swedish and working on my fitness, in the future if we rekindle anything then i would be ready to move there and make it real 24/7. if nothing happens between us again then i still plan to move there and i'll find someone else. either way the future will be good

 

ty for reading i look forward to hearing your opinions. be as brutal as you want

[Curiouscody]

My Girlfriend Just Dumped Me - Postmasculine