Helluva Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 After a month and a half of pure confusion, I visited and spent a couple nights with my ex this weekend :/ I came down there to give him a calculator and get $50 from him, and he told me beforehand that I could stay the night...which turned into two nights. We had sex a few times in the time there (which is mainly the reason I stayed the night) and while there his best friend asked what was going on with us, and he asked me...and asked if I should say "friends with benefits" and I told him to tell her "nothing". The thing is...I've had a feeling that he was talking/dating someone new due to the times the instances where he doesn't text me back or the girls I've seen on his Facebook. The second night there, he told me over dinner that there was a girl he met. Her parents came in to his job, he served them, they loved him, so they brought back their daughter to meet him. According to him, this girl got overly excited, got his number, started texting him a bunch, and came into his job and waited for him to get off for three hours even though he didn't want to go, and waited till she left to leave. He described her as a "stalker" whereas I told him it sounds like they're talking, at least in her mind. She texted him a few times while we were together. In the morning to say good morning, which I saw and pointed out that they were on "good morning" terms. Then again when we went out to eat, when she texted him, he didn't want to open it while I was there, and I told him to go ahead. She asked him out again that Saturday. I told him that for a "stalker" she really does seem to think she has a chance for him, meaning he hadn't told her no once or discouraged her even if he did tell her about me and how he's not ready to date again. I didn't see it, but he told me that he texted her that he was working things out with me and that he wouldn't go out with her. She apparently texted back that she thought that would happen and wished us the best. Strangely, I didn't feel mad at her, I felt sorry for her and mad at him for leading someone on. I would MUCH prefer him to just push me away and focus his energy completely on someone else and treat them like I wish he treated me, rather than playing around with someone else's heart who's just trying to find love like the rest of us. Since then, I've been quite distant from him. During my entire trip (which was honestly just for sex and company), I was hounding him to tell me what's going on with him and others since I feel like he's not telling me things, yet flirting, sleeping with me, telling me he loves me, and referring to me as his girlfriend for some odd reason. Even if he broke up with me after over a year together, he still shouldn't tell me he loves me, right? I know I need to let go. But everyone here knows how hard that is. Especially when someone gives you a sliver a hope that you can't bear to let go of. But what should I do? Just drop it? Ask him why he told her we are working things out? Or just go NC..or attempt to?
veggirl Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Yes ask him why he told her that when he said to you that he wants to be single since he hasn't been in 9 yrs. And then tell him you can't handle being friends (you NEED time apart! Not texting every day and stuff!) and stop talking to him! Tell him that unless he is committed to being in a REAL relationship with you, you can't be around him and you can't be in contact with him. Look out for yourself...
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 From what you have stated. He tells people your his gf he mentioned to this other chick he is trying to work things out. So you need to talk to him and ask him if that's what his intentions are. If he is trying to work it out then really that's up to you. Do you want him back do you want to give it another go? You can't really blame the guy for talking to other women when you ttwo have been broken up. But if your getting back together it shouldn't continue. Everything in life is a risk. Finding love,second chances and relationships in general. If he does want to work things out and that's somthing you want aswell then just make sure the effort is there. That its not all just words. On the other hand if he says he isn't ready to give it another go for whatever excuse he wants to throw at you or plays games with you. You drop it and move on. How you do that is up to you. NC isn't for everyone but it does help the process along for you. It's really whatever you can handle and are comfortable with.
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