Advising friends with OCD.

[Nancy B]

My friend has suffered OCD in recent years.

 

She is in a happy relationship. Yet a few weeks back she stayed with her ex-bf. they slept separately but in the morning he joined her in bed to watch TV shows for a few hours. Nothing happened and they are firmly friends. Her BF knows she stayed at his but doesnt know about the morning bed sharing.

 

She is OBSESSING over this. She is feeling guilty and considering telling her BF. I repeatedly told her I dont think it's a biggie. I hate giving her advice because her OCD always wins.

 

What is your take on this?

[CptSaveAho]

Stay out of it

 

She's an idiot, she made her own bed by staying over at an ex-boyfriends house

 

I dont go out or stay at my ex-girlfriends house if I am in a "happy" relationship or in a relationship in general

[Els]

I don't see any harm in her telling her bf that they watched TV shows while sitting on the bed. If they did nothing wrong then there is no harm in divulging it.

 

But I don't think she should approach it in the "OMG I feel so guilty about this I have to confess something!" manner because, well, there is nothing wrong with what she did, and if she talks about it in that manner it would be only human nature for her bf to be suspicious.

 

That ALSO being said, I don't see why stay with your ex-bf at ALL. That opens a huge potential can of worms for both sides and no matter how much you insist that you are 'firmly friends', it is really not worth the extra bit of money saved to not stay at a hostel.

[CptSaveAho]

she did it on purpose and is lying to herself after the fact now that reality sat in...(hence guilt)

[KathyM]

You should encourage her to tell him the truth. And encourage her to stop hanging out with her ex.

[FitChick]

She shouldn't even tell him she stayed over. He will think the worst. Nothing good can come of it. I hate it when people who feel guilty dump their crap on others. Suffer and be miserable yourself and learn not to repeat the behavior.