sara901 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I am in relationship with my boyfriend for more than two years. When we are together we really have fun and we don't have any specific problem.I'm 26 and he is 32. We broke up two times and we were apart 2 months each time. The reason that we broke up last time it was because I asked him "what will happen to us? Are we gonna get married??". Then he told me that "he can not get married because he is not ready not really soon and marriage is not him and he wished me the best and......". Then we got apart and stopped talking.I was really heart broken and having anxiety attacks, could not sleep at nights and.... After one week he started contacting me via text, email,phone calls, leaving flowers and basically telling me how much he misses me and he can not live without me and he made a mistake by breaking up. He was begging me close to three months, then we start talking again and he told me that he will do whatever I want.He said "I will marry you and I will visit your family and whatever you want". Then we got back together and he went overseas to visit my family and we decided to take things slowly because I didn't want him to make decision just based his emotions to get married. Since then its been nine months. Last week I asked him I need to know our plan about future (marriage) and then he said "I feel pressured". Then I told him "I never pressured you and you were the one who came back to my life promising that I will settle for you and Im gonna do this and that". Then he said that "at that time I was heart broken and I had to tell you so you would take me back. I'm not saying I wont marry you but why should we rush it. Nowadays people are dating for 4-5 years and the they will settle." I got really mad at him and ignored his phone calls for a day and its been four days that he has not contacted me. After all Ive been through with him that was the last thing that I wanted to hear from him. I believe we have been in the relationship for two years and that is enough time to get to know each other. I really love him but I am tired of his empty promises and his words. I don't want to throw away our relationship because I really love him but my fear is if he is still not ready then he never will be. I really dont know what to do and I need some advises. thank you
Samilia Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 at that time I was heart broken and I had to tell you so you would take me back. That would bother me, the deception. I don't know if he wants to marry you or not, but I don't like being deceived. Maybe you put pressure on him about getting married, he might truly feel that way. I just think that trust has to be part of a relationship, and his lie would really be in the way. There is something that I'm wondering though, beside the whole "let's get married" issue, are you guys happy? Marriage is great, but I don't think it's an obligation either.
Tiera D Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 most people get divorced nowdays eventually anyway,is that really important? TD 1
Author sara901 Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 That would bother me, the deception. I don't know if he wants to marry you or not, but I don't like being deceived. Maybe you put pressure on him about getting married, he might truly feel that way. I just think that trust has to be part of a relationship, and his lie would really be in the way. There is something that I'm wondering though, beside the whole "let's get married" issue, are you guys happy? Marriage is great, but I don't think it's an obligation either. I totally agree with you about the trust part and that is like a big turn off for me. But Ive been with him for more that two years and Im really attached to him now. We haven't talk for four days and this is driving me crazy now. I don't like the fact that he kind of fooled me in order to get me back but at the same time I can not stop thinking about him. In general he is a smart and nice person, the only issue that he has is the commitment fact. I dont want to be in a relationship for 4-5 years and down the road when I am extremely attached to him and also got older, he leaves me for another woman.
Author sara901 Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 most people get divorced nowdays eventually anyway,is that really important? TD Its something that I want. It might not be important for everyone. And I know marriage is a very scary thing and its so risky. But eventually all of us will ending up doing it.
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