promises Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Maybe we can list reasons why life may be, would be or now is better that the OM/OW is not the center of our pain or confusion, or has a tight grip on our hearts. Can you think of things you HAVE control over that make you a great human? Reasons you are worth great love? Reasons you deserve undivided love? I need this, it feels like others here need to remember it, too.
Author promises Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Maybe we can list reasons why life may be, would be or now is better that the OM/OW is not the center of our pain or confusion, or has a tight grip on our hearts. Can you think of things you HAVE control over that make you a great human? Reasons you are worth great love? Reasons you deserve undivided love? I need this, it feels like others here need to remember it, too. I have a big heart. Sometimes I only feel with it and not my head. It can get me into trouble. But, I have a huge heart. I am fairly baggage free. I have a great deal to give. I love humor and a man who made me laugh only to suck away my laughter is not worth my love, my heart. I love to smile. I love to give. I am worth great love. I deserve undivided love because I have undivided love to give. Because, pieces aren't good enough anymore. Because, unavailability is no longer going to be a subconscious requirement for a relationship. I'll start here today.. 3
Sarabi Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 It will be better if I can go through the day without wondering if he's going to call/text/email, if he is ok or if today is the day I will never hear from him again It will be better if I can get through a work day without colleagues and customers asking if everything is ok and why I look so sad It will be better if I don't feel so desperate for contact that I feel relieved when I get a text or a call (this bit makes me feel so pathetic lol esp. at times when we don't hear from each other). It will be better for me to stop my current situation and stop wondering why I am not worth being a girlfriend or wife and why all these other girls can be so precious to all these men...and yet I am not. It will be better if I don't feel jealous about someone who I shouldn't even be wasting time, energy and tears being jealous about! As much as I really do love and care for him...it would be better for me to wish him the best and set him free, him to stick to his guns, work on his relationship and his family...or at least figure out what the hell it is he wants... and for me to try and get a life of my own, a better job, a dog...and find someone of my own who will hopefully give me what I deserve (which hopefully is not a massive beating...) Reasons why I am worth love etc. I'll get to eventually, I admit I'm not quite there yet in believing that! The greedy little sod has already found his happy ever after(or whatever their "relationship" is)...its time for me to find mine! 1
ComingInHot Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sabi, You ARE worth being a girlfriend! And a Wife! With a man who will be worthy of You!! This man who gives you "bits" then leaves you in pieces is not worthy of you. 3
Sarabi Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sabi, You ARE worth being a girlfriend! And a Wife! With a man who will be worthy of You!! This man who gives you "bits" then leaves you in pieces is not worthy of you. Awwww, thank you x
butterflybutterfly Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sarabi, you put it so right, 'wondering why I'm not worth being a girlfriend or a wife'. We bloody well are worth it and it's ridiculous that we let men who, frankly, aren't worth the time of day, treat us like we're not! That 'I'm not worth it' feeling hurts so much. It'll be better because I'll stop wondering whether he's going to be in touch, whether I should get in touch with him, I'll no longer have that awful knot in my stomach when I hear the message tone that tells me it's a text from him, a tiny bit excited but more than anything terrified it's going to be words that leave me gutted. I'll stop organising my life around him and never being certain I'm even going to see him, I'll stop having my hopes raised so high and then dashed at the last minute. No more worrying what he thinks about me, whether I shouldn't have said or done something. No more feeling guilty and then falling over myself apologising - for what? For loving him and caring for him and giving him everything I've got only to have it thrown back in my face. No more begging him not to leave me, no more working so hard just to try to get some crumbs from him. No more feeling sick at the thought of him with her, no more jealousy. And, perhaps most of all, no more confusion...no more not being able to understand how he can possibly be with both of us...no longer trying to work out what the hell is going on with him. I have plenty of reasons why it'll suck without him but the reasons above make a pretty strong case for kicking him to the kerb. 2
Sarabi Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 All of what you say is so true butterfly, I understand completely !!! Now its just finding the courage to let him go. I don't want to do it acrimoniously. I don't want to say anything nasty out of anger or walk away hating him or him hating me. But do let me know how you get on in letting go of him (eventually)...it will be the first step to us moving on to find the ones who are worthy of us !!! x
Author promises Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 All of what you say is so true butterfly, I understand completely !!! Now its just finding the courage to let him go. I don't want to do it acrimoniously. I don't want to say anything nasty out of anger or walk away hating him or him hating me. But do let me know how you get on in letting go of him (eventually)...it will be the first step to us moving on to find the ones who are worthy of us !!! x Hi, Sarabi.. Maybe the first thing you could do is list some of the things that make you a beautiful person, and a desirable woman. Before him.. And that will hold true after him. Start putting you back to #1. This has helped me find strength..
skywriter Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) Maybe we can list reasons why life may be, would be or now is better that the OM/OW is not the center of our pain or confusion, or has a tight grip on our hearts. Can you think of things you HAVE control over that make you a great human? Reasons you are worth great love? Reasons you deserve undivided love? I need this, it feels like others here need to remember it, too. My life is better after NC for seven months, as I am not keeping a death grip on my cell phone. I'm not jumping when it goes off thinking it's him. I'm no longer disappointed when it isn't him. The good folks on this forum have referred to an affair "fog" and that's fair enough. However, I'm more inclined to having felt a bit brainwashed by the man I was involved with. I was another person when I was in the A. I tossed away my integrity and threw caution to the wind. If you knew me, you'd understand that I'm the opposite of the way I behaved. So I am better because I'm getting back to my ole' self. I have control over myself and what I believe in. For example; not compromising my integrity ever again just to have a man in my life. I am worth a great love, because ,I want to be a great love ,to another. I also deserve undivided love, because, I will never divide my love. I can't express enough, how much better I'm feeling, about getting back to what I deem normal. I've seen written where MM, claim their OW are needy. I say, hogwash! If you have to expect a person to sit on the sidelines and follow your set of guidelines, that makes you the needy one. I wasn't needy, but I will admit, I was very foolish and led in a down a deadend. So glad I've learned from this experience. Edited December 14, 2012 by skywriter 2
missy268 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 It will get better for me when we no longer have to work together the tension and ignorance and uncomfortableness between us is unbareable I'm starting to see him for who he is, but i still can't, like my friends have said i am blind to him, because i love him - very true, but i know hes no good for me so thats a start xx 1
Author promises Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 I'm not constantly waiting for the next email, text, or anticipating when he'll call again. I'm laughing again a little. I have realized that through this, and having to tell many people, a few showed unconditional love back to me. I have a better understanding of what I 'don't' want in a husband. I definitely have a more intimate understanding of my weaknesses...
Cali408 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 I'm channeling my energies toward my priorities. My wife, my children and my career instead of putting all my energies to my mistress. 1
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