I miss...

[youngnlove89]

I miss knowing you were always there to talk. I miss the security. I miss the stupid fights that either made us shut up until next time or somehow made us stronger. I miss holding your hand. I miss you holding back. I miss you not holding back. I miss your scruff and always being amazed that I walked away without severe beard-burn. I miss those nights when we didn't want to stop being with each other. I miss getting so pissed at something you would say or do and trying to deal with it on my own until you made me fess up. I miss surprising you. I miss being surprised by the glimpses of your humanity every now and then. I miss the look you’d get when i’d touch your cheek. I miss how you thought you were so stealth with your mood changes when you really can’t hide them from me. I miss how i always knew where I stood. I think I miss your hugs the most. didn't need them often, but now when I do, it sucks to know you’re not around to give them.

 

Yes, even though my ex had commitment issues, I did love him for a reason..

[Samilia]

Touching post. I'm sorry you're missing your ex that much..

[KatZee]

Do you miss the fact that you never met his friends?

 

Do you miss the fact that you never met his family?

 

Do you miss the fact that he couldn't even bother to by you a damn birthday card worth $2.99?

 

Do you miss the fact that you were only 80% "the one"?

 

Do you miss the fact that he'd go away on vacations and never ask you to join?

 

Do you miss the fact that you "dated" this person for a year and a half and the relationship never went anywhere?

 

Do you miss the fact that the only reason he calls you up is because he wants sex?

 

I'm sorry but you continue to idealize someone that didn't even have a real relationship with you. You accept whatever crumbs he throws at you. Yes it's hard. Yes, it sucks to be dumped, but come on already.

[youngnlove89]

Do you miss the fact that you never met his friends? I met his friends more than a few times, he just went to vegas and on actually trips with them without me

 

Do you miss the fact that you never met his family? I met his family, we went to Oregon together on a 4 day trip.

 

Do you miss the fact that he couldn't even bother to by you a damn birthday card worth $2.99? I don't miss that.

 

Do you miss the fact that you were only 80% "the one"? 95% the one but hey, what does it matter?

 

Do you miss the fact that he'd go away on vacations and never ask you to join? you are right, i hated that, at least I don't have to deal with that anymore

Do you miss the fact that you "dated" this person for a year and a half and the relationship never went anywhere? DON'T MISS THAT ONE!

 

Do you miss the fact that the only reason he calls you up is because he wants sex?

 

I'm sorry but you continue to idealize someone that didn't even have a real relationship with you. You accept whatever crumbs he throws at you. Yes it's hard. Yes, it sucks to be dumped, but come on already.

 

Katzee, thank you for this but I still have feelings. I still will hurt. This is part of me letting go. I mean, I wish I could just kick him to the curb and never think of him again, but it isn't that easy. I come here to vent, versus going to him.

[KatZee]

Katzee, thank you for this but I still have feelings. I still will hurt. This is part of me letting go. I mean, I wish I could just kick him to the curb and never think of him again, but it isn't that easy. I come here to vent, versus going to him.

 

OK, but you're still not trying to move on. You come HERE and say you are, but I know you're not. It really IS that easy to kick him to the curb. Will you still think of him? Of course. But do you really think continuing to hang around, messaging him when you say you won't is going to make the feelings go away? You keep prolonging this torture. 7+ months since the "break up" and you're spinning in the same circle. It's like you're in a hamster wheel, running but going no where.

 

Do you know what you could have done in 7 months?

 

1. Gotten a new job.

2. Met new friends.

3. Gone on a vacation or a trip with said new friends.

4. Taken up some cool new hobbies or joined interest groups in your area.

5. Met new great guys through new friends.

 

It's as easy as blocking him entirely. Not 95% with a door still open to see if he changes his mind. 100% blocking. He will never not contact you. You're too easy. If he's on a dry spell and is lacking vagina, there you are. It's TOO easy for him not to. He's not coming back because he has this karmic connection to you, or you're his soul mate.

 

I can tell you what he DOES think of you right now. He sits at home getting his ego inflated every single time you justify messaging him again. "Of course this girl can't stay away from me, haha!" He's not particularly interested in your well being. He really doesn't care too much that you're hurt over this. He just calls you up, spouts some BS and you cave. And then he gets his tip wet and goes, "Well... nothing's ever going to change, I'm sorry. I don't see you in that way."

 

And then you're back here again and again and again and again.

 

It comes to a certain point where it's like, enough already. For real. Everyone goes through breakups and heartache, but a very slim and small majority act the way you're acting. It's not right. It's not healthy. You're not moving on. You're not trying. You're idealizing someone that doesn't deserve to be put on this pedestal you have him on. You continue to justify and rationalize his behavior, you go back for seconds, thirds, fourths, and fifths of his abuse and non committal attitude.

 

You're stuck in the land of denial and UNTIL you just say "It IS THAT EASY" to just cut him off... you will continue to be here, and post here, and lurk here, and sit at home by yourself with no friends.

 

It's 7 months now. Nothing's changed. He hasn't changed. You haven't changed. You haven't moved on. You haven't progressed. You haven't grown. Stagnant. That's all you are. I'm not sure what you think is going to magically happen one day without any ounce of effort.

[youngnlove89]

No effort?

 

I have done everything I can to block him. I changed my number today so that way there is no way of him contacting me. I deleted his number also and I don't have it memorized so there is NO WAY of me contacting HIM. I blocked him from GMAIL. Please Please, give me credit. I am trying. This is just so hard for me because I loved the bast.ard. Okay? I don't know why I did, the heart wants what the heart wants. I wish I didn't. But I did. That does not make me a bad person for loving. Maybe I had low self esteem or low standards, but I'm working on that and it all takes TIME.

 

You don't know how hard it was for me to block him completely, 100%. Very emotionally difficult. So please give me credit for something.

 

And I rather come here and post a million things on here and you strangers getting annoyed of me versus going to him and venting and falling back into his torture cycle. don't you think?

 

Please, give me credit for something.

[na49]

I understand how hard it is to completely block someone because I'm struggling with it too. My ex was a jerk who cheated on me. I shouldn't have trouble blocking her at all. Blocking her on facebook was easy, blocking her number has not been. I realize that I have to do it for my own sanity, and once I put myself and my own sanity first. I will. Checking my phone every now and then during my winter break to see if I have a text from her is not my idea of winter break.

 

Do making these depressing threads help you? I mean if they do, then more power to you. Reading that stuff just makes me sad though. Time won't do anything for you if you just keep being miserable like you've been. Time and CHANGE will heal you a lot faster. Try to make some more changes.

 

I really need to take my own advice...

[youngnlove89]

I understand how hard it is to completely block someone because I'm struggling with it too. My ex was a jerk who cheated on me. I shouldn't have trouble blocking her at all. Blocking her on facebook was easy, blocking her number has not been. I realize that I have to do it for my own sanity, and once I put myself and my own sanity first. I will. Checking my phone every now and then during my winter break to see if I have a text from her is not my idea of winter break.

 

Do making these depressing threads help you? I mean if they do, then more power to you. Reading that stuff just makes me sad though. Time won't do anything for you if you just keep being miserable like you've been. Time and CHANGE will heal you a lot faster. Try to make some more changes.

 

I really need to take my own advice...

 

 

Block her. It is hard, I know. But just do it, don't think about it. Afterwards, it's somewhat of a relief because you don't have to keep checking your phone.

 

And yes, they do help me. It gets it all out. Kind of like writing in a journal. But I rather type it. Instead of harboring those feelings, I'm letting them go.

[LostOne1]

No effort?

 

I have done everything I can to block him. I changed my number today so that way there is no way of him contacting me. I deleted his number also and I don't have it memorized so there is NO WAY of me contacting HIM. I blocked him from GMAIL. Please Please, give me credit. I am trying. This is just so hard for me because I loved the bast.ard. Okay? I don't know why I did, the heart wants what the heart wants. I wish I didn't. But I did. That does not make me a bad person for loving. Maybe I had low self esteem or low standards, but I'm working on that and it all takes TIME.

 

You don't know how hard it was for me to block him completely, 100%. Very emotionally difficult. So please give me credit for something.

 

And I rather come here and post a million things on here and you strangers getting annoyed of me versus going to him and venting and falling back into his torture cycle. don't you think?

 

Please, give me credit for something.

Oh I give you credit for sure.

 

But it's time to finally let it go now and move on.

 

DO something now. Go out and get a new job, join the gym.. just DO something. trust me I just stayed home and it killed me and made it worse.

 

Now I am looking for a job, applying to a new school (sadly my ex goes there, but I could care less since it's my education I care about), getting a new cell phone, looking at new wardrobes and working out now.

 

That's A LOT of changes, but I am doing it to feel better. And also because a yr or 5 yrs or 10 yrs from now I want to say HEY that time was tough for me. I was hurt losing my grandma and my ex both of whom meant a lot to me.

 

One of them I can never get back, and one of them that doesn't want to come back. Yeah it hurts, but I know with the changes made. I will look back and be HAPPY and say YEAH the time was REALLY hard, but it made me STRONGER and it made me PUSH myself to do different things and become a better and different person.

 

Maybe I NEEDED to go through this time, so I make these changes and get to where I am supposed to be. Almost like it was meant to happen to me for me to get to the future I am supposed to be part of later on.

 

It sucks and it's hard girl! but after awhile you will get fed up of all the pain. At some point you have to look in the mirror and say.. I can sit here and rot or I can get up and do something different and know that the pain you went through transformed you into something SO AMAZING.

[smokey bear]

No effort?

 

I have done everything I can to block him. I changed my number today so that way there is no way of him contacting me. I deleted his number also and I don't have it memorized so there is NO WAY of me contacting HIM. I blocked him from GMAIL. Please Please, give me credit. I am trying. This is just so hard for me because I loved the bast.ard. Okay? I don't know why I did, the heart wants what the heart wants. I wish I didn't. But I did. That does not make me a bad person for loving. Maybe I had low self esteem or low standards, but I'm working on that and it all takes TIME.

 

You don't know how hard it was for me to block him completely, 100%. Very emotionally difficult. So please give me credit for something.

 

And I rather come here and post a million things on here and you strangers getting annoyed of me versus going to him and venting and falling back into his torture cycle. don't you think?

 

Please, give me credit for something.

 

 

Google what feeling, thought and emotions are and where they come from, you can control them, you can make this easier for yourself. Please try it, please read it, please practice it.

 

After you understand how your emotion, thoughts and feelings work, google how to release emotion, its an exercise and it works. Again please try it xx

[LostOne1]

Or listen to Will.Iam & Britney Spears - Scream n Shout.. I have it blasted in my room bass pumping.. and I'm singing along screaming and shouting as fun and I feel awesome!!!

[youngnlove89]

Thanks guys I feel better most of the time. It's just nights and weekends that are hard for me!

 

But I no longer have to wonder if he is going to contact me.

 

I made the decision to let him go. I can move on.

 

I'll be okay and that is all that matters.

[ani_ram]

Some people can easily move on. Some people are better at changing their perspective on life. I'm like you. I still miss my ex. I broke up with him but I still miss him and want to be with him. Yet I know the relationship is not right for me. I'm in a confused state. It has been 5 months post breakup. I've done a lot to keep my mind off him: I've gone away for school (it's about a four hrs car ride away plus ferry), been busy with school, job interviews, made new friends, work, gym, yoga etc. Everything! I had 4 exams already and I can't focus because I can only think of him. I hate myself because I know I could had done well on my exams but I couldn't focus! I hate this feeling and I hate myself for still thinking of him. I try not to talk to my friends about because they have heard enough about it.