Author Kaiten350 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Ok. It's been a few days and I seem to be getting a bit better. It doesn't seem to hurt as much anymore. I haven't cried about her in over a week so I think that's good progress. I guess.. That's good for now I suppose. Hopefully, eventually I will be ready to be "friends" with her. I wanted to be more with her, but she wouldn't accept me so yeah.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 It wasn't timing. You could wait for mount Rushmore to erode into a pile of dust and the timing still wouldn't be right. Women, being conflict avoidant to the maximum, use this line to "let you down gently" aka leave you posting nonsense like what you're spouting unless you know better. I agree that it's not about timing. But I disagree that women are the only ones that do this. My ex kept saying this too.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 So, you're basically saying she didn't want to be with me.. because of me right? Because she didn't like me enough? Or because I simply wasn't good enough for her? Is that what this comes down too? Good god. Now I'm even more confused than I was to begin with. Why because of you? She doesn't want to be with you because of her. You are who you are, and she does not want to be with who you are, whether because of looks or personality. That's HER problem, not yours. Why are you so obsessed about what this says about YOU? The only reason you are not good enough for her is that she wants something else or something more.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Why because of you? She doesn't want to be with you because of her. You are who you are, and she does not want to be with who you are, whether because of looks or personality. That's HER problem, not yours. Why are you so obsessed about what this says about YOU? The only reason you are not good enough for her is that she wants something else or something more. Well, I'm saying it's because of me, because I must be lacking something, that she isn't seeing in me. Which means she isn't willing to accept me the way I am. Meaning that I'm not good enough for her "standards". Whether it's because of physical attraction, or personality conflicts, I don't know. Me and her get along great. Before I came to visit her, she would always tell me how "hot" I am, etc. Also, before I left her house, she told me "Don't worry, I won't be in a relationship anytime soon so don't be paranoid." So maybe she was serious when she said she didn't want a relationship. It's just too confusing of a situation.
dasein Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Ok. It's been a few days and I seem to be getting a bit better. It doesn't seem to hurt as much anymore. I haven't cried about her in over a week so I think that's good progress. I guess.. That's good for now I suppose. Hopefully, eventually I will be ready to be "friends" with her. I wanted to be more with her, but she wouldn't accept me so yeah. Suggest not considering any form of friendship with people who reject you romantically, at least not until years have passed. Same advice for any gender. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you are working towards a friendship when the initial attraction was romantic, and the underlying impetus towards friendship is actually romantic also. Work towards spending your time and energy finding a full relationship with someone who is on the same page. Good luck. 2
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Suggest not considering any form of friendship with people who reject you romantically, at least not until years have passed. Same advice for any gender. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking you are working towards a friendship when the initial attraction was romantic, and the underlying impetus towards friendship is actually romantic also. Work towards spending your time and energy finding a full relationship with someone who is on the same page. Good luck. Well, I'm a good family friends of theirs, and I'm really close friends with her brother. So I intend on seeing them again next year. That's why I want to be on good terms with her, so it doesn't make things awkward. In due time I will be open to the idea of being friends. I guess it will take some time, but I am a forgiving person.
edgygirl Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 It's understandable to feel insecure about yourself when you're rejected. But you have to understand, as a young man, that you will reject and be rejected MANY times in your life in the future. Other times things will work out because you and the girl will both be into each other in a time that works for both. That's the way things work in life. It's not that there's something specifically wrong with you. People want different things at different times in their lives. It doesn't matter if the reason she is rejecting you is because you are not what she is looking for or because she is really not into a relationship right now. What matters is that you take what she says without doubting it and move on to meet other girls. I know it may seem right now that she is the most perfect human being for you and no one will come close, but thankfully that's not the way it works. You will fall for many other girls in the future and you'll remember this as a bitersweet teenage crush you had that didn't work out. Life goes on. Get yourself out there and meet other people and the hurt will pass. But keep in mind: There's nothing wrong with you! That's how life goes, for everyone Well, I'm saying it's because of me, because I must be lacking something, that she isn't seeing in me. Which means she isn't willing to accept me the way I am. Meaning that I'm not good enough for her "standards". Whether it's because of physical attraction, or personality conflicts, I don't know. Me and her get along great. Before I came to visit her, she would always tell me how "hot" I am, etc. Also, before I left her house, she told me "Don't worry, I won't be in a relationship anytime soon so don't be paranoid." So maybe she was serious when she said she didn't want a relationship. It's just too confusing of a situation.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 (edited) It's understandable to feel insecure about yourself when you're rejected. But you have to understand, as a young man, that you will reject and be rejected MANY times in your life in the future. Other times things will work out because you and the girl will both be into each other in a time that works for both. That's the way things work in life. It's not that there's something specifically wrong with you. People want different things at different times in their lives. It doesn't matter if the reason she is rejecting you is because you are not what she is looking for or because she is really not into a relationship right now. What matters is that you take what she says without doubting it and move on to meet other girls. I know it may seem right now that she is the most perfect human being for you and no one will come close, but thankfully that's not the way it works. You will fall for many other girls in the future and you'll remember this as a bitersweet teenage crush you had that didn't work out. Life goes on. Get yourself out there and meet other people and the hurt will pass. But keep in mind: There's nothing wrong with you! That's how life goes, for everyone That's very inspirational. Thanks so much! I will remember to read over that, anytime I start to feel discouraged and down. Every bit of support truly helps thank you. Also, small update. I found out she blocked me on facebook. I confronted her about it via text, and she denied it and said "I didn't block you. I'm not that type of person." So, now I realize that she is a liar. And I was foolish enough to fall for her deceptive ways. I don't know why she would need to block me. So she gets to break my heart, and then kick me out of her life. Wow. What else did I expect from a 16 year old? :/ Edited December 21, 2012 by Kaiten350
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