Carenth Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 I've never known anyone who has said that line and meant it. It's just a very gentle way of saying you don't do anything for me. Also to the OP stop putting this girl on a pedestal she is not a goddess and you will find someone else.
TheFinalWord Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 But is that line ever true? What about for men? Can it be true when men say it?can there ever be a time in someone's life where they don't want a relationship despite meeting someone they like?? mmm couple of possible times: 1) Recently single and don't want you to be a rebound b/c they are interested. Won't take long b/c if a guy wants a relationship with a woman, he'll forget about ex quick. 2) In a major life transition such as moving or career change, even then he could find a way if girl is open to things like skype, e-mail, etc. 3) Know they are mentally unstable: describes 75% of men anyway and never stopped them (j/k) If they are really interested in you, they will find a way.
phineas Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 But is that line ever true? What about for men? Can it be true when men say it?can there ever be a time in someone's life where they don't want a relationship despite meeting someone they like?? Depends. If you are a clinger or talking about marriage before he's even seen you naked then yeah he may be saying that to get rid of you. I know I have. but after my separation I just wanted to get laid & really didn't want a relationship.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) and guess what, you'll get rejected again in the future, this isn't the last time. so what? your problem is obsessing over women you haven't even got yet. STOP DOING THAT. go hit the bars, approach a half dozen women a day, have a one night stand, have a FWB, get tired of that and go meet a girl at the book store, have a 6 month fling based around your weird sexual fetish about girls with glasses and sweaters, when she dumps you go back to the bar, have another one night stand, then bump into your future wife at the grocery store. that's how it happens, it's called life. go live it and stop whining. First of all, I'm bloody 18 years old. I have no legal access of getting into bars, and neither do I have the desire to go to one. Do I sound like the type of guy who does crap like this? I have no desire to have one night stands and engage in random sexual affairs with women I don't even remotely know. I will never, and would never do that. I have way too much respect for women to even fathom doing something like that. Thanks anyway. Edited December 13, 2012 by Kaiten350 1
Tara247 Posted December 13, 2012 Posted December 13, 2012 So.. Either she isn't attracted to me, or she simply doesn't want a relationship. It's one or the other really. I just want to know the truth and I think I might call her in a few days and ask her what the real situation is.. I just need some kind of closure. I can't let this go . What is her reason going to matter? She made it plain that she doesn't want to be with you. Let it go. It's gone.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) Guys, I confronted her tonight, and she said "You're a great guy. I'm sorry if I may have led you on. It's just the timing isn't right.. I didn't know you wanted a relationship so soon." So if that's her true intentions, then why is everybody in this thread saying "She just doesn't want a relationship with you". Clearly, it seems she did want to be with me, and that I wasn't the problem. It was just the timing.. So.. then it wasn't my fault after all? Edited December 16, 2012 by Kaiten350
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Guys, I confronted her tonight, and she said "You're a great guy. I'm sorry if I may have led you on. It's just the timing isn't right.. I didn't know you wanted a relationship so soon." So if that's her true intentions, then why is everybody in this thread saying "She just doesn't want a relationship with you". Clearly, it seems she did want to be with me, and that I wasn't the problem. It was just the timing.. So.. then it wasn't my fault after all? Because that is a stock standard line pretty much everyone gives to someone who thinks you are a nice person but isn't attracted to you for whatever reason. aka the gentle let down. It's no ones fault sometimes these things just don't work out you can't force someone to fall for you, just like you can't choose who you fall for. As others have said be grateful she was mature enough to let you know sooner rather than later, instead of stringing you along. Try not to over analyse this, you didn't do anything wrong but you will have to accept she is not interested and move on.
ISFJ Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Kaiten, it is never your fault. Not everyone is compatible. This girl was not the one for you. The one for you will love you in every way that you dream about. She does exist and you will find her. You will only elongate the process by trying to hang on to girls like this one. I understand how you are feeling though. It can be tough. Running through the thoughts of "what did I do wrong?" "what could I have done differently?". Those don't matter. You can't change what has happened, but you can look forward to meeting the girl who will love you to bits.
yongyong Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Every guy faced that kind of situations. What makes them a loser is they think 'oh I still have a chance with her. I will do this and that to change her mind' Forget about her. she is dead to you now. move on to other chicks.
charlietheginger Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 I dont want a relationship.... I learned to love myself , work Gym , two dogs , eating healthy, Doing what i want when i want.... If i get horney masturbate Get lonley go walk my dogs... I think some people man and Women were just ment to Be and live alone.... Now that i love myself i don't Look desperate ive actually Turned womens advances down... I mean i got it good alone And 4 outta 7 women are crazy Why take the gamble i'll might End up with another crazy women.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Because that is a stock standard line pretty much everyone gives to someone who thinks you are a nice person but isn't attracted to you for whatever reason. aka the gentle let down. It's no ones fault sometimes these things just don't work out you can't force someone to fall for you, just like you can't choose who you fall for. As others have said be grateful she was mature enough to let you know sooner rather than later, instead of stringing you along. Try not to over analyse this, you didn't do anything wrong but you will have to accept she is not interested and move on. I hear what you're saying. It's just, her reason slightly matters to me because, if what she is saying is true, about the timing being off, then that means that I was good enough for her in the end, and she did want to be with me. Just not right now. Before, I was under the impression she just didn't want a relationship with me specifically, and that made me feel bad about myself as a person. As if I failed to be good enough for her. But yeah, if she's telling the truth, and the only problem is the timing, then I can sleep well knowing that I was good enough, it's just the timing was the main issue. Does that make any sense? Sorry.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Kaiten, it is never your fault. Not everyone is compatible. This girl was not the one for you. The one for you will love you in every way that you dream about. She does exist and you will find her. You will only elongate the process by trying to hang on to girls like this one. I understand how you are feeling though. It can be tough. Running through the thoughts of "what did I do wrong?" "what could I have done differently?". Those don't matter. You can't change what has happened, but you can look forward to meeting the girl who will love you to bits. Thank you. Reading that really opened my eyes. You're absolutely right. Perhaps she was simply not the right one for me. I don't know if I will ever meet the right one, but an open mind and an open heart will not stop until love is found, right? Love is my ultimate desire in life. At least I know I tried. That's what counts. :/
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Before, I was under the impression she just didn't want a relationship with me specifically, and that made me feel bad about myself as a person. As if I failed to be good enough for her. But yeah, if she's telling the truth, and the only problem is the timing, then I can sleep well knowing that I was good enough, it's just the timing was the main issue. Does that make any sense? Sorry. I understand the thinking been there myself when I was younger, however this sort of thinking won't help you move on. You need to understand that all this stuff doesn't matter, the reality is she doesn't want to be with you. Don't wait around for this elusive right "timing" as it won't happen. This was a very nice way of saying she wasn't interested. That is all you need to know and to move on from that, nothing else matters.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 (edited) I understand the thinking been there myself when I was younger, however this sort of thinking won't help you move on. You need to understand that all this stuff doesn't matter, the reality is she doesn't want to be with you. Don't wait around for this elusive right "timing" as it won't happen. This was a very nice way of saying she wasn't interested. That is all you need to know and to move on from that, nothing else matters. Wait.. So you're saying, "the timing just isn't right" is just an excuse she's using? What if she truly means it though? I mean, I don't think she is lying. I think she genuinely doesn't want a relationship at all right now.. I'm trying to rationalize it too much. I know. I'm sorry. I just don't want to feel like I wasn't good enough for her. Knowing the absolute truth will help me move on. Either the timing really was the problem, or she just didn't want to be with me specifically. But I'm going to trust her judgment. If she claims that the reason we didn't work is because of the timing, then at least I can sleep better knowing that I was good enough for her, and that I wasn't rejected for being me. That's all. I hope that makes sense. I'll try to leave it alone now.. Edited December 16, 2012 by Kaiten350
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Wait.. So you're saying, "the timing just isn't right" is just an excuse she's using? What if she truly means it though? I mean, I don't think she is lying. I think she genuinely doesn't want a relationship at all right now.. I'm trying to rationalize it too much. I know. I'm sorry. I just don't want to feel like I wasn't good enough for her. It doesn't matter if it's the truth or not, more than likely it is an excuse but as I said that doesn't matter. If you are thinking I might have a chance later with her then it becomes a problem because you are setting yourself up for a world of pain. The only thing you need to know is she doesn't want a relationship with you and move on from that. All the other questions and thoughts are irrelevant.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 It doesn't matter if it's the truth or not, more than likely it is an excuse but as I said that doesn't matter. If you are thinking I might have a chance later with her then it becomes a problem because you are setting yourself up for a world of pain. The only thing you need to know is she doesn't want a relationship with you and move on from that. All the other questions and thoughts are irrelevant. No no. I already accept that I'm not going to have a relationship with her in the future. I'm not hung up on that anymore. I've already come to terms with it. I'm going to move on now and live my life. I just want to be sure. I want to be sure that I wasn't the reason it didn't work out. I just want to feel confident knowing that I did everything I could have in this situation. I just want to feel that I can close this chapter knowing that I did everything and I tried to be everything for her, and that I wasn't the reason things ended this way.
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Then you are fine, don't sweat the small stuff it really doesn't matter. You did everything you could, no need to dwell on it.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Then you are fine, don't sweat the small stuff it really doesn't matter. You did everything you could, no need to dwell on it. You're right. Thanks for everything. I appreciate it. I just wonder.. Will I ever love again?
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Yes you will, just give yourself some time to heal you will be fine.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 It wasn't timing. You could wait for mount Rushmore to erode into a pile of dust and the timing still wouldn't be right. Women, being conflict avoidant to the maximum, use this line to "let you down gently" aka leave you posting nonsense like what you're spouting unless you know better. So, you're basically saying she didn't want to be with me.. because of me right? Because she didn't like me enough? Or because I simply wasn't good enough for her? Is that what this comes down too? Good god. Now I'm even more confused than I was to begin with.
Carenth Posted December 16, 2012 Posted December 16, 2012 Stop analyzing this, don't read this thread anymore. Move on. Getting worked up over irrelevant details is not worth the energy.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Stop analyzing this, don't read this thread anymore. Move on. I know, I'm sorry. It's just, people keep saying one thing, and another person tells me another thing, and I keep going in circles trying to figure it all out, and I'm driving myself insane at this point, and I don't want to keep doing this to myself. I need to stop, I need to let it go. I know. This is not healthy. This is not benefiting me in any way. I need to get a grip with everything. I guess I just keep trying to go back and see where things went wrong, so that I can better myself. I don't think I made any mistakes. I don't think I could have done anything differently. Perhaps the result would have been the same. Either she simply wasn't ready for a relationship because of the timing, or she simply didn't have much interest in me to begin with. I don't know. I don't know about any of this. All I can do is wish her the best, and hope that one day some guy comes into her life that will love her and inspire her to live. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted.. to be that person to bring her happiness. She wouldn't let me. I have to regain control. I need to stop pondering and wondering what could have been done differently. I'm certain the results would have been the same. It's too late. What's done is done. I have to accept it. I have to try and know when it's time to let go. I'm trying. Believe me. It's just.. I wish it were easier. I wish I was good enough for her. I wish I was more physically attractive. I wish my personality was better. I am dying to be what she's trying to see, but if I'm not enough the way I am.. All I can do is cut my losses and bid her a painful goodbye.
Author Kaiten350 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Posted December 18, 2012 Do you guy's think she will ever realize what she lost...?
mortensorchid Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Sorry to hear that you are crying over this, but don't be too depressed over it. It wasn't meant to be, and when she says "I'm not ready for a relationship" she's saying she doesn't want to be with you. She will pull that nonsense on others as well, if not the next one than one down the line. You can move on, and life will get better. 1
aahnaagrwal Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 Yes, if you are not ready for any relation ship then fine. You can take more time to manage it. Why you feel so worry about this? Take proper time and then adopt any relation. __________________ Love Vashikaran Mantra
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