Any cure for involuntary celibacy

[somedude81]

The reason is because he is comfortable around them.

Heh, you should already know what I'm going to say.

 

So I don't need to say it right

[ThaWholigan]

Heh, you should already know what I'm going to say.

 

So I don't need to say it right

I don't know and I don't care what you're going to say to be honest . Because it will be no excuse.

 

He talks to girls, he doesn't take it seriously, he's bold. He doesn't internalize rejections, or dwell on failure. That's why he's doing well at life in general, and that's why he's engaged to a girl that even I would be lucky to have, and she feels herself lucky to have him - all 5 foot 2 of him.

 

You, SunDevil, Necromancer, IT Geek and all the other guys I cannot fully remember right now need to remember all of that. Stop forcing it, taking it seriously, continue to persevere, improve, stop making excuses about why it won't work, stop dwelling on your failures, stop focusing on women's "shallowness" etc, and all that sh*t. And just go and f*cking do it. Seriously. Turn it into something fun FFS.

[normal person]

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[ThaWholigan]

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I know, and I agree (he apparently has an autism/aspergers diagnosis - I also have the condition but obviously I am different ). However, a lot of guys are in a similar position, and if they read this and the words resonate then at least we won't have any more SunDevils thinking the way they do .

[normal person]

Thawholigan, your advices are good, but until you lived life as a short guy, you do not know what it is like for me. Have you ever been called undateable?

 

Why are so you certain the reason you've been called "undateable" is because you're short? Are you sure it's not just because you

ooze negativity and think women deserve manipulation and no respect? The fact that you let comments like this affect you is only compounding your problem. I know it might be an uphill battle if you're short, but that shouldn't stop you.

 

If you bring something worthwhile to the table, there are women out there who will overlook your height. However, no woman will overlook complete misery and whininess on your part.

[Sun Devil]

Its hard to not think about height when you see sights like this

Women vs. Short Guys: Dating’s Fiercest Battleground | It's Not a Match.com

Women vs. Short Guys Revisited | It's Not a Match.com

Short Men Get Short Shrift - YouTube

[todreaminblue]

I am tired of not being able to attract women. I want to know how to get out of being an inception without relying on hookers. I am improving myself, but I could use help Any suggestions?

 

 

i get tired of being crazy....doesnt change the fact i will stay the same i cant change it..i can control my outward craziness because..........i accept myself....most of the time....makes it easier to accept everybody else for who they are.....and they feel that acceptance it comes straight from my heart....if you accept who you are and how you feel others will accept you that includes the enigma of females that you dont understand ...you arent mean tto understand females....we need some mystery you just have to accept yourself and that fact.....you need to work on yrouself to be happy others cant do that for you..give yourself a break from feeling unable to succeed....and you will find success in that..thats the first step.deb

[ThaWholigan]

Its hard to not think about height when you see sights like this

Women vs. Short Guys: Dating’s Fiercest Battleground | It's Not a Match.com

Women vs. Short Guys Revisited | It's Not a Match.com

Short Men Get Short Shrift - YouTube

I could probably find a similar amount of internet pages about guys with Autism too - in fact, I already DID, years ago.

 

You know what I did? The same thing my short brother does when he sees those articles about short men - LAUGH!

[AlexDP]

I have been called cute. I hope to develop an above average personality to get a better girl. Hopefully, my personality will get girls to overlook my height

 

Are you sure you don't want a tall man to have sex with you? I mean, you do seem to have a thing for them.

[normal person]

Its hard to not think about height when you see sights like this

Women vs. Short Guys: Dating’s Fiercest Battleground | It's Not a Match.com

Women vs. Short Guys Revisited | It's Not a Match.com

Short Men Get Short Shrift - YouTube

 

I agree, it's hard not to think about it. Here's a question: how do you act around women when you feel self-conscious about your height?

 

I'm barely 5'10" and there is no shortage of girls taller than me, especially when they wear heels. When I see them, I don't become bitter and resentful towards them, quite the opposite. I actually become more motivated to demonstrate attractive qualities. I internalize a philosophy like "if you're going to overlook me simply because of my height, then you're the one who's missing out." It's almost a challenge to get them to be attracted to me, even if my height hadn't ruled me out before. I make a huge effort to be charming, funny, interesting, etc. I show them that there's a lot more to me about me than just my height. I give them plenty of reasons to reconsider how they feel about me overall. I don't simply let it piss me off and start complaining that I got dealt a bad hand. I accept what I've got and I make it work. What do you do?

[AlexDP]

I agree, it's hard not to think about it. Here's a question: how do you act around women when you feel self-conscious about your height?

 

I'm barely 5'10" and there is no shortage of girls taller than me, especially when they wear heels. When I see them, I don't become bitter and resentful towards them, quite the opposite. I actually become more motivated to demonstrate attractive qualities. I internalize a philosophy like "if you're going to overlook me simply because of my height, then you're the one who's missing out." It's almost a challenge to get them to be attracted to me, even if my height hadn't ruled me out before. I make a huge effort to be charming, funny, interesting, etc. I show them that there's a lot more to me about me than just my height. I give them plenty of reasons to reconsider how they feel about me overall. I don't simply let it piss me off and start complaining that I got dealt a bad hand. I accept what I've got and I make it work. What do you do?

 

5'10" is not short by any stretch of imagination. It is average.

[normal person]

5'10" is not short by any stretch of imagination. It is average.

 

I'm aware. My post was in reference to the many women I come across who are 5'10" or taller in heels, or even shorter but still desire a guy taller than me. There are plenty of them.

[AlexDP]

I'm aware. My post was in reference to the many women I come across who are 5'10" or taller in heels, or even shorter but still desire a guy taller than me. There are plenty of them.

 

True, I'm 5'10" myself and it happens to me often. That being said I'm not attracted to women taller than me. I guess Sun Devil is.

[normal person]

True, I'm 5'10" myself and it happens to me often. That being said I'm not attracted to women taller than me. I guess Sun Devil is.

 

Nor am I, but it doesn't stop me from trying to sway opinions about height. I don't like the idea of being marginalized by someone just because of how tall I am, so I make an effort to change minds. I never act badly or immaturely, it's just a motivation to display my better qualities. Maybe it's a small Napolean-esque Complex.

[somedude81]

True, I'm 5'10" myself and it happens to me often. That being said I'm not attracted to women taller than me. I guess Sun Devil is.

That's because you're 5'10 any women taller than you are over 5'10.

 

When you're below average height like I am at 5'6, it's very limiting to have my height as a cutoff. I'm willing to go up to 5'9, but that really is stretching it.

[Sun Devil]

I have no problem dating a taller woman, even if she is 6 feet tall

[pbjbear]

I refer to the ability to attract women for a relationship or for a one night stand. Hookers are only a temporary solution. Those casual encounter sights have a lot of fake profiles. Many are scams.

 

Hah you dont want a relationship dont kid yourself you want a ONS

 

You post constantly women should be used as sex objects and you expect me to believe you want a relationship? I feel sorry for any woman who gets into a relationship with you

[Carenth]

As I've said countless times it's not your physical appearance that is your main issue, it's your personality, outlook on life and the way you view women that will be pushing them away. Pretty much any girl would be able to figure out you are not genuinely interested in them as a person, rather you view them as an object, massive turn off.

 

Not to mention your bleak outlook on things, double turn off.

 

Nothing will change until you are able to overcome those issues.

[Sun Devil]

You misread my posts. I said that women act like they want to be used as sex objects. I am a nice guy in person, but women ignore me for guys who cheat or are abusive. I really do want a long term relationship. A ons is ok, but no substitute.

[ThaWholigan]

Sorry I don't buy it. I wish I lived in a world where personality and a positive outlook on life can overcome physical shortcomings but I'm not delusional. I don't have any rose tinted glasses... He is physically unattractive and yeah it is a big deal.

 

every ugly person I know is a complete loser. Ugliness leads to low self-esteem, sexual undesirability, social rejection, poor social skills, anger, depression, and a host of other problems. These issues tend to turn people into losers. But you're misinterpreting the cause with the effect. Anyone who's been rejected for 24 odd years is bound to develop deep psychological issues. Your blaming his failures with girls/social life on psychological issues but I assure you it's the other way around.

Yes, continue to make excuses for him - that's going to help

[Carenth]

Sorry I don't buy it. I wish I lived in a world where personality and a positive outlook on life can overcome physical shortcomings but I'm not delusional. I don't have any rose tinted glasses... He is physically unattractive and yeah it is a big deal.

 

every ugly person I know is a complete loser. Ugliness leads to low self-esteem, sexual undesirability, social rejection, poor social skills, anger, depression, and a host of other problems. These issues tend to turn people into losers. But you're misinterpreting the cause with the effect. Anyone who's been rejected for 24 odd years is bound to develop deep psychological issues. Your blaming his failures with girls/social life on psychological issues but I assure you it's the other way around.

 

I'm sorry if my patience is getting a little thin, so I'm just going to quote one of the first replies I gave for Sun Devil back in October in a identical pitty party thread. He has made at least 20 - 30 threads over the last few months over the same bloody thing just under a different name. I know from personal experience this crap isn't insurmountable.

 

I was an extremely unhappy individual in my late teens, early twenties. Whilst I didn't have the same issues as Sun Devil, I had my own problems which I perceived as insurmountable and that I would lead a miserable, lonely and pointless life. I blamed everyone and everything for my misfortune for a long time.

 

Until I decided that no one was going to solve these problems for me and I would have to do it myself. Which meant looking deep and accepting some hard truths.

 

First my outlook on life which was extremely negative was one of the main reasons people shied away and rejected me; no one wants to be with someone full of bile and self-hatred.

 

So I went and got professional help from doctors who helped me steer me on the right path. After I started feeling a bit better about myself, I went on a course of self-improvement for myself. Not for anyone else, not to pick up chicks or to impress other people.

 

I got myself an education and focused on living a healthier lifestyle got myself into shape both mentally and physically. I got myself a job while studying in an area that usually would make me very uncomfortable because it forced me to interact with people, strangers lots of them.

 

That helped me come out of my shell and learn how to interact with people. My friends and family I can never thank them enough for how much they helped me through this period.

 

It was then I started been approached by girls for the first time in my life, because they found me to be a kind and interesting person who was genuine not putting up some bull**** front I learnt from a desperado PUA book (btw if you are looking for a meaningful relationship avoid PUA crap at all costs imo it is snake oil).

 

I've had a couple of relationships now and dated quite a bit. I'm in a long distance relationship atm (which I never thought would be something I would consider) and am quite content. I now have a job I enjoy in the industry I want to be. I'm going to meet my girlfriend for the first time in a few weeks when I fly half way around the world to spend 2 weeks with her. Overall I'm pretty happy and have been for the last couple of years.

 

None of this came easily and it was not something that came overnight. It meant facing and owning my inner demons and fears accepting who I am, a flawed individual like everyone else. Learning to accept and love myself for who I am. My life is not perfect (no ones life is) but I am happy.

 

Back from my trip now which was awesome btw. I have physical short comings as well but do I use them as an excuse, na **** that **** I prefer living my life rather than been miserable everyday.

Edited December 12, 2012 by Carenth

[ThaWholigan]

In 100% honesty, it will be hard for SunDevil because he is very short for a guy at 5 foot 0. At anything above 5 foot 4 he has a much stronger chance. But approaching things the way he does with the current thoughts he's having is going to make it way worse than it has to be. He does have to make up for it a lot, but the way he is now is not that.

[Sun Devil]

Seeing the posts from people like Colez Fanboy only makes my problem worse. I know that women will prefer taller men, but what do you mean anything above 5 foot 4 has a stronger chance?

[ThaWholigan]

Seeing the posts from people like Colez Fanboy only makes my problem worse. I know that women will prefer taller men, but what do you mean anything above 5 foot 4 has a stronger chance?

I mean, that men who are at least 5 foot 4 will still be small but at least small enough for a girl of like 5 foot 6 to ignore without thinking about it. 5 foot on the dot is pretty small. Most girls I know who would date such a man are usually around the same height or a tad taller. I know there are a lot of short girls who like the 6 footers though.

 

You have to ignore people like Colez Fanboy - in his own misguided way he's thinking he's helping you but he is just giving you an excuse to wallow in the problems you have IMO. You have to make the best of your plight. Talk to more women, learn how to talk, take classes if you have to, do improv and sh*t. Work-out, read more, pick up new interests. I don't think you should do it just to get women, mind, but it will be more helpful to your cause.

[Sun Devil]

Earlier I asked if leg lengthening surgery is a good idea. I could become 5 foot 4 with it. That would make me as tall as the average girl. Do you think that it would make dating easier for me?