pantalonesnoche123 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Broke up with my ex about a month ago. We had been going out for 5 months. She broke up with me over text on weekend over an argument. We never fought or argued prior. Then one weekend I said some things that made her mad and we started our first real fight/arguement ever and she ends it. Then, immediately proceeded to list all the things that I did that made her upset and made her end the relationship. The thing is that she never told me what was bothering her while we were together. Or told me what I was doing that made her upset or mad at me during the relationship. That's why the breakup came to a surprise to me. I have already did the thing I shouldn't, begged and seemed all desperate to take me back and find some kind of explanation from her. I have asked her to talk about in person and she blew me off. I have received some text back from her after being ignored for two weeks but it was just small talk like we were never in a relationship or nothing happened between us. She did drunk text me saying she missed me and need to talk a week after break up. I have started NC for a week now. Just looking for some advice. Should I continue NC or try to ask her to lunch to talk in person. Idk if shes too afraid to confront me in person or if she wants space. I want to tell her that I can't read her mind. I didn't know that certain things I was doing or saying were making her mad/upset. Had I knew I would have done my best to change it. Let me know what you all think. Thanks
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Like you said, she didn't break up with you because of the argument, she broke up with you because of her other reasons. Also, NO, you can't/won't change who you are. When I'm with someone I am myself, they either love me for me or they can leave. I don't change who I am to be more like what they are looking for. If they leave great!! I have the answer to my question, will I marry them? Unless she wants you to change horrible habits like selling drugs, doing drugs, beating children or animals, you don't change who you are. Otherwise you might as well pull your nutts out, place them on the table and have her castrate you with an ax! Saying you'll change who you are for someone else really says "I am not important, you are. My needs/wants/emotions/feelings aren't important, only yours are".
LondonRed Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 There has to be compromise in a realtionship and we are all humans and make mistakes in the heat of the moment. Don't do what I did mate, I'd do no contact if you can bear it - I can't so I am not one to talk.
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 There has to be compromise in a realtionship This is not a relationship, she left, there is nothing to compromise.
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