Who says 22-year-old girls aren't attracted to guys in their late 30s?

[TheBigQuestion]

You implied that most relationships between thirty-somethings are awful cesspools of immaturity and deception, and that abuse is usually tolerated.

 

I was mature when I was a teenager, but I wouldn't have been interested in an older man. For some reason, men get a free pass to be Peter Pan, where as women are expected to act their age, and get over the fact that they aren't so young anymore.

 

Last I checked, "plenty" doesn't equal "most" either. Sorry, my use of plain language trumps your odd interpretation of what I supposedly "implied." I won't indulge in this thread derailment any further.

[Nightsky]

What you want the transcript of our entire interaction?

 

I told her I was a terrible cook and that she needs to cook me dinner. Besides that I more or less made observations.

 

I actually don't think my "game" is all that strong actually. I'm not a good teaser for one thing. I get past "approach anxiety" and I guess I come across as friendly and confident in person, and that was what did it for me.

 

I like the "you need to cook me dinner line." Look as long as you are confident enough to talk to a girl and ask her out things will work out. I was just being curious geez man.

 

Where did you decide to take her on your date? I ask because tastes in dating venues can vary amongst age demographics.

 

Good luck.

 

Well from his line he should have her cook him some dinner than enjoy her as the desert.

[Anela]

I was going to try flirting with you, TBQ, just to creep you out (I'm an oldie at 37), but it creeps me out just thinking about it! I was twelve when you were born, I could have babysat you for pocket money!

 

I was turned off by all of the men over 50, who kept hitting on me on a dating site, as well as the youngsters. I last heard from a 52 year old, who told me that he was disappointed he fell out of my preferred age range - and he was ignoring women his own age. He wanted me to give him a chance, but women his age? pfft. they don't need love or affection, they don't need to feel attractive to the opposite sex? give me a break.

 

Anyway, I hope Imajerk enjoys his date! He doesn't tend to live up to his username.

[TheBigQuestion]

I was going to try flirting with you, TBQ, just to creep you out (I'm an oldie at 37), but it creeps me out just thinking about it! I was twelve when you were born, I could have babysat you for pocket money!

 

Booooooooo.

 

I should just tell everyone I'm 32 from now on. Not too old for the twenty-somethings, but in my thirties so it doesn't creep out the ladies approaching age 40.

[Nightsky]

Oh yes, most 22 year olds (who aren't old enough to have a graduate degree) can relate SO well to climbing the corporate ladder like a middle ager. They also relate SO well to parenting teenagers! They are vast lakes of knowledge about mortgages, and property upkeep. They are wonderful for caring for aging parents. Alzheimer's is easy to care for when you pull all nighters on college essays and pass out on the local sorority lawn! Twenty two year olds are so conscious of saving for retirements and managing 401 k plans!!!

 

**** my morals? No **** YOUR wanting to get your genitals wet at the

Expense of a young person's well being... You know the difference between you and I? I'm not so shallow a person graduating from childhood can fulfill me sexually or mentally!

 

It's like reading gibberish and a person with zero understanding of human motivations and goals. It's like reading the works of an Atheist Scholar.

[tman666]

Oh yes, most 22 year olds (who aren't old enough to have a graduate degree) can relate SO well to climbing the corporate ladder like a middle ager. They also relate SO well to parenting teenagers! They are vast lakes of knowledge about mortgages, and property upkeep. They are wonderful for caring for aging parents. Alzheimer's is easy to care for when you pull all nighters on college essays and pass out on the local sorority lawn! Twenty two year olds are so conscious of saving for retirements and managing 401 k plans!!!

 

**** my morals? No **** YOUR wanting to get your genitals wet at the

Expense of a young person's well being... You know the difference between you and I? I'm not so shallow a person graduating from childhood can fulfill me sexually or mentally!

 

We had no idea that you knew the girl from the supermarket so well! Gosh, what a small world it is.

[TheBigQuestion]

Oh yes, most 22 year olds (who aren't old enough to have a graduate degree) can relate SO well to climbing the corporate ladder like a middle ager. They also relate SO well to parenting teenagers! They are vast lakes of knowledge about mortgages, and property upkeep. They are wonderful for caring for aging parents. Alzheimer's is easy to care for when you pull all nighters on college essays and pass out on the local sorority lawn! Twenty two year olds are so conscious of saving for retirements and managing 401 k plans!!!

 

**** my morals? No **** YOUR wanting to get your genitals wet at the

Expense of a young person's well being... You know the difference between you and I? I'm not so shallow a person graduating from childhood can fulfill me sexually or mentally!

 

So a consensual romantic or sexual relationship between a 22 year old woman and someone in their 30s necessarily has a deleterious effect on her well-being. Gotcha. How many other unverifiable hypotheses are you going to pass off as objective fact today?

[Nightsky]

So a consensual romantic or sexual relationship between a 22 year old woman and someone in their 30s necessarily has a deleterious effect on her well-being. Gotcha. How many other unverifiable hypotheses are you going to pass off as objective fact today?

 

You shouldn't have asked. It opens the door for more scholarly logic.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Again:

 

Yes, I approach a woman based on physical attraction, as that is all I have to go by. Yes, I am shallow that way. Yes this woman has that.

 

I decide to go for their number if they *seem to* have their act together.

 

THAT is what I am encouraging guys to do. I would have written this thread if she were 48 ("don't discount older women fellas!") just as I did with the girl being 22 ("you might still connect and she might still like you!").

 

I WOULD HAVE asked for her number if she was 28, 32, 42...

 

JUST AS I salute the women on here in their 40s who have found happiness with guys in their 20s. (Yes they mentioned the age difference too.)

 

Especially because of the threads on here from guys wondering if they are too short, too old....

 

Now that is a load of BS If I've ever heard it.

 

Women do not look the same or even act the same at 22, 32, 42 so how in the world do you know that you would have hit on her if she was 32 or 42? Chances are I bet you, she wouldn't have been sporting those tight yoga pants and have such a tight sweet @ss that hypnotized you like a moth to light, and if anything says anything about anything, it was the cute fit young woman's body that seduced you into using some old man charm (which c'mon is how hard when young women are so easily impressed?) in which who knows if she'd have even been interested if she knew what it was like to be 32 years old and would see you in a completely different light...but she'll learn.

 

Regardless of the fact you "dated" a woman in her 40's...hello! ::waves hand:: I'm also a man, and as men we know the majority of men will sleep with anything that looks good enough (and some men as long as it has a hole) to sleep with regardless of age, doesn't mean the man was looking for a relationship and in that regard you'd be looking for a very specific woman. Because let's be realistic, if you're 32 you sure damn well at 22 you didn't know jack crap compared to what you know now and the "maturity" is hardly comparable....maturity is just a BS word that gets thrown around to negate actual experience , and younger women obviously have much less of a chance at seeing through or interpreting a mans agenda...it's fish in a barrel and any man who's got two rocks to rub together in his head realizes that, if you don't then you're probably missing a rock.

 

And my point is part of being a mentally mature adult is shepherding/nurturing youth, not preying on them.

 

I can't respect any adult who builds a "relationship" with someone they KNOW can't handle a mature relationship and all the responsibility it brings. Old men/women messing with children and young adults aren't much different than those who prey on the mentally deficient... Same usary crap...

 

Men will always prey on younger women because all women seem to think they are mature and so intelligent...ahead their time, and old soul, before their years which makes them date much older men way out of their mental league without question. Even if the man is a total moron, he's still older and has more experience so what does that say if he actually has peas for brains? He can do a little song and dance and you'd be eating out of his hand like a little puppy, he could blow you away...not that 10 years before he was able to do the same thing, he's probably exactly one of those mature idiots young women complain about and say they aren't compatible...which makes him no different!

 

Any older man knows why he'd date a younger woman especially in her 20's, whether he admits that, whether he throws on the good guy jacket with excellent morals and values is up to you to buy...It's that hush hush thing that men don't speak about...why? because it obviously benefits us that you are naive to realize the landslide of knowledge and experience that a competent man has over you, and why would a men want to exclude a young vagina from his pallet? even if he knows he is taking advantage, oh yes because ladies we all know how selfless men are? HAAA!...and that's just the damn truth, men want to say they're indifferent and would have loved the woman anyway regardless of age , and women want to believe that they're dating older men because they're "mature" enough which already means they're playing the biggest trick on themselves...really? could you make it any easier for men by already giving them the benefit of the doubt?

 

I would bet both of my nuts that if you were to add 10 years to that woman to come within range of the man it would be different without a doubt...If Jesus, Allah, Gandhi or the Carebears came out of the sky and asked me to bet my testicles on the fact, It would take me .00000001 seconds to say "fk yeah!...because my balls are safe with that bet!"

 

It's absolutely ridiculous to pretend that the youth makes no impact on the mans decision, I could only believe it If I was born a woman.

 

I have no problem with younger women/men dating older men/women if they are mature enough to do so without being manipulated.

 

Because I work with young people on a daily basis, I am very protective of them. I see firsthand how immature, naive, and inexperienced they are.

 

I can't imagine, personally, hitting on young boys, no matter how hot I thought they were. They are babies! It's not fair or appropriate to do that to them.

 

I don't think Imajerk is actually a jerk or creepy at all. He seems like a pretty cool guy. The statements above are general.

 

If younger women want to date older men than that's as much their naivety than the mans, because that's why you'd expect right? because It doesn't take long to see that they just don't know certain things about life and even less about love..even if they're working, even if they have a job and paying their bills...so what.

 

But women are not protecting fellow women in this regard, they're just going along with it, in fact many women done it themselves and in fact because the man was older he might have even gave you the illusion that it probably meant more than it actually was. Older experienced men are like expert hunters, they cover their tracks, decorate them with flowers and make you feel like "well that wasn't so bad, it just didn't work out"...that's part of the trade and tactic, I don't know what women don't get about it, men are manipulators....sorry! Yes, Mr. Perfect, Mr. gave me so much and helped me grow was taking advantage of a weakness, he knew the whole time you weren't on his level and what kind of man is going to admit that to your face? then watch the tears stream down your face and feel like a guilty @sshole? oh yeah because men always take the high road and tell the truth instead of avoid the "emotions" ...and would you really want to know? would you really even believe it? probably not...which makes it all the more fantastic for men.

 

I've talked to young women, interacted with them, c'mon really guys? Maybe not everyone agrees with me here but I think I've established I'm not the Village Idiot, what reason do I have to lie about something like this? unless I stand to gain from it...don't you think...I know the deal, I know the damn score, I don't live in a shoebox.

 

I could have slept with many younger women, it's extremely easy to charm them and be impressionable. And the man part of me told that I could, the moral side of me told me not to jack this woman up because she's going to fall. But If I stuck my D in that woman, you can call me a damn predator all damn day and say I took advantage of her, maybe she wanted me to take advantage of her...but I'm still the guy who took advantage because I got more sense in my pinky about relationships, love, and everything else because the real world ***** doesn't count and I could spin this situation in every damn direction that she wouldn't know up or down either way, I'd be completely dominant and in control, and she wouldn't know the damn difference because she's too young and inexperienced to.

 

Now let me ask you...why wouldn't the average joe who's got no agenda to have a relationship, no morality about using women his own age or women in general, avoid such a sweet and easy deal where he has the edge? much more easily than with a woman who's his age and older that might have the sense to call him out on his BS?

 

People need to realize that a lot of men weren't looking for a relationship in the first damn place, that's why a lot of this ***** doesn't work out...not because you were necessarily the wrong woman or match, 30 or 40 years of age and it's just the same difference "age is just a number"...where is the guy who said that anyway so I can slap him? oh wait, probably on top of a 15 year old girl while in his 80's.

 

It's all to the mans favor, and if you're a woman and believe it you've bought it hook like and sinker, it's the perfect manipulation at it's finest. I feel sorry for women because they'll never remotely understand what it's like to be a man and they'll never be able to see what lacks in a relationship when the man is older and more experienced that you cannot provide...it's just not the same, you might be fun for a while, hell the p@ssy might even be good enough to marry, but you'll never understand what that man sacrificed for it and why.

 

In fact maybe it's better you just don't know any better.

[TheBigQuestion]

As a 25 year old, would I be "getting my genitals wet at the expense of a young person" if she was 23? If not, what's the cutoff date? 22? 20? Who gets to decide and why?

 

I'm sick and tired of these arbitrary cut-offs that some women insist on creating which are nothing but their own preferences imputed on the rest of the world (most of these preferences are largely a result of their insecurity over passed over in favor of those they perceive as younger and better looking anyway. This concern over the well-being of the poor widdle early-20s women is a smokescreen for insecurity about aging, nothing more, nothing less). If a woman is a certain age and a guy is "x" number of years older, then he is a CREEP, a PREDATOR, and all other sorts of alarmist nonsense. Yet there is no consensus on what is "too old" and never will be.

[BehindBlueEyes]

I'm 38 and taking a 20 something with me to the Hobbit premier, so....kiss my azz!

 

Good goin, Imajerk!!

[edgygirl]

Thinking about myself when I was 22, I can honestly say that only girls with daddy issues would be attracted to a guy 20 years older than them. Ugh.

 

Conversely, mostly the insecure guys or commitment phobics who can't have a normal relationship with women around their age or want a little trophy would be interested in a real relationship with someone who is 22. When you're 40, you know how 20 yo people think, and it shocks me that someone older would initiate such relationship knowing beforehand someone's age. Ugh again. You older guys know what I'm talking about and you can't pretend it doesn't matter.

[mesmerized]

Yeah.

 

Like I also said in that post, I haven't seen too many "predatory" pursuits of younger women from men of an older age as that kind of thing is usually dealt with in an unsavory manner, unless she is 21+ - and even then it's pretty much a problem.

 

It is perhaps fortunate for me that I tend to find women 25+ to be most attractive in general, barring a significant number of outliers.

 

I think what ninja says, rightfully so, is that most men tend to have a fetish for young age which is absolutely true in my experience. I work with all men and see how they talk about women. I have been with younger guys too, but not because their age but other factors. In fact they had to convince me to get over our age difference.

 

Why do you think OP posted this in the first place? Not to advise us to not care about age but to brag about the new hot young thing he got.

[TheBigQuestion]

I'm sure the guys who ONLY go after younger women with the intent of exploiting their naivete might have some issues with their own aging.* But a man who is open to dating women of a variety of ages who happens to either connect with someone younger for a relationship or because they both have the hots for each other probably doesn't have those problems. I highly doubt that when I'm 45, I'll want to seriously date anyone in their 20s. But I really don't think that'll stop me from finding women in their 20s physically attractive. Attraction isn't a choice.

 

*Which, by the way, is not the type of man I'm "defending." I simply object to the ridiculous characterization of ALL older men/younger women sexual/romantic relationships as being inherently predatory on the part of the man. Truthfully, the man won't really ever win in the situation, because a younger man going after an older woman is often derided by people as being predatory as well. The same assumption is often made for a white guy who marries an Asian woman. The standard seems to be, "if the woman is really different from the man in some way, the man must be taking advantage of her."

Edited December 12, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[xxoo]

Women do not look the same or even act the same at 22, 32, 42 so how in the world do you know that you would have hit on her if she was 32 or 42? Chances are I bet you, she wouldn't have been sporting those tight yoga pants and have such a tight sweet @ss that hypnotized you like a moth to light, and if anything says anything about anything, it was the cute fit young woman's body that seduced you into using some old man charm (which c'mon is how hard when young women are so easily impressed?) in which who knows if she'd have even been interested if she knew what it was like to be 32 years old and would see you in a completely different light...but she'll learn.

 

Regardless of the fact you "dated" a woman in her 40's...hello!

 

This all contradicts itself.

 

Imajerk approached a woman in her late 40s, not knowing she was in her late 40s.

 

Imajerk approached a woman in her early 20s, not knowing she was in her early 20s.

 

Imajerk approaches women he is attracted to, and those women range in age over 25 years.

 

And who's to say a 40 year old can't look hot in yoga pants?

[TheBigQuestion]

This all contradicts itself.

 

 

And who's to say a 40 year old can't look hot in yoga pants?

 

I've seen it.

[ja123]

I'm saying that a guy just looking to date shouldn't be thinking too much about age. A lot of young women don't like older guys but some do. And some women don't like older guys in theory but then when they meet a cool older guy... Approach whom you are attracted to.

 

I went on a great date this summer while on vacation with a woman 10 years older than I am. If you had asked me before that if I would consider a woman in her late 40's I would have said no. But when she told me her age I just laughed. I was attracted to her anyway. Age is (almost) just a number.

 

A lot has to do with being in shape, and having the right attitude!

 

Good for you!

[Imported]

 

 

FYI, I'm 24, and as said, I like my women 20 plus always.

 

 

Most guys like women @25 to 30. Let me know when you're closer to 40 than you are to 20 if you still like older women. Generally, I have no problem getting women that are universally considered attractive. Most times they are under 30, sometimes not. And I don't go for them because of age. An ugly 20 year old is still ugly. An attractive 35 year old is attractive. Age is just a number if you age like fine wine and not like milk. For some guys, getting older just broadens what women they can get.

[bac]

It depends on the guy, he could be attractive.

 

It is just opposite. It depends on her attitude. She is either into older guys and sex with them or she is not into that stuff.

If she is not into casual sex with older guys in general, it does not matter how attractive and tall an older guy is.

If she is OK to have sex with older guys, even average/short/bald older guys are welcome.

[William]

Due to the large and inflammatory threadjack which occurred and has predominantly been deleted, the thread is closed to comments. Thread starter, should you wish to update, moderation will be happy to re-open at Stage Three. Alert on this post and make the request. Thanks.