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My 22 month old is hitting me alot, is this just a phase?


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Posted

My daughter is 22 mos old. When she gets frustrated at me, she hits me. I don't understand why, and I've tried time out, which is not getting any results.

 

One day she hit me in my eye and I had a broken blood vessle for a couple of days, then the next day she threw a heavy figuring at my face, giving me a bruse on my chin.

 

I swatted her twice on the butt, not hard, plus she has a diaper, for the figuring incident. I know that is showing her to hit, but I was so angry :mad:

 

Is this a phase? Also when little kids approach her, she pushes them away. After awhile she will play with them.

 

Also her daddy and I do not fight and if we do, we make sure she isn't around, but our fights are never physical.

 

I don't know ....

Posted

not a parent but maybe its the soo called terrible twos approaching

Posted

she'll grow out of it if you show her that its wrong

Posted
Originally posted by cece_2_fine

she'll grow out of it if you show her that its wrong

 

 

This may actually be the only way to break her of hitting. When I was a baby I used to bite all the time. That is until my mom broke down and bit me back. Never bit again.

Posted

I agree with the terrible twos.......... sounds harsh but hit her back (not hard of course)

 

good luck and I must say your post makes wonder if I really want kids :p

Posted

:confused: : I do not reccomend biting/hitting her back, there's no reason she needs to learn that violence is how problems are solved.

 

Does an increase in volume have any effect on her? I assume she's not old enough to understand your words, am I correct?

 

Also, I may be unfamiliar with the dexterity of a 2 year old, but can't you tell what she's doing? My cousin is 4, and when she's about to hit somebody, there's sort of a 'wind-up' period, during which she can be stopped and chastized before the blow lands.

Posted

Please, please do not hit this child back. The solution is not to act like a 2 year old yourself! This is a normal 2 year old stage. You need to teach her that this behavior is not acceptable.

 

Keep things short and sweet. Tell her "No hitting!", and then remove yourself from the situation. Kids do these sort of things to feel powerful, you have to let them now that they will not gain any power by doing it.

 

Also, depending on how much understanding she has, at some point when she is calm I would tell her that hitting is "against the rules". She may not understand it completely at this point, but gradually she will gain some understanding of it.

 

Here is some advice on handling it:

http://www.parentsplace.com/toddlers/behavior/qas/0,,166452_112680,00.html

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for the advise.

 

Yes, I did spank her back, which only resulted in laughter from her and another hit to me from her. My husband says she thinks it's a game.

 

So now I've resulted to time out - where I put her in her high chair and face it to the wall. Daycare does it for the time by age. ex: 1 yr old = 1 minute.

She is almost 2, so I do it for 2 mins.

 

I'm just thinking it's a phase. She did go through the biting faze too. I started (very lightly) biting back and she quit.

 

She pulls hair too. Tried to pull her hair back, she just looks at me, grabs some of her hair, and pulls like "see mom, it doesn't hurt". I quit pulling back the hair, now I've resulted in time out.

 

She'll be 2 in October. Other than this, she is a very well behaved little girl. She does like to roughhouse, so I'm thinking she's trying to get me to "wrestle" with her.

 

Thanks all for your advise. If anyone has anymore good advise please share! First time mom here y'all!

Posted

She's probably just testing her boundaries like all kids do, but don't just blow it off, definitely. Keep the punishment consistent so that she knows it is NOT acceptable for her to even raise her hand to you, and you should be fine. Even though she's young, you should also (if you haven't already) back up the time outs or whatever with explaining why it's not ok for her to hit. Just be consistent, and she'll learn. I'm not against corporal punishment completely, but she's very young and it's probably not necessary. As long as you have a way of teaching her cause and effect (That some action is bad and why and there will be a punishment she won't like as a result if she does it anyway), she'll get it. Good luck!!

Posted

Hey, I'm not saying that you're not a good mother but step up to your daughter and let her know who's boss. Next thing you know she's gonna grow up hitting you and torturing you, which will be embarrassing. Then when she goes to school you'll get in trouble for her bad discipline problem. So try this: If she hits you, give her your serious look and say "Stop It" as loud as you can and spank her hand enuff for it to hurt and not her pamper. Then dare her to hit you again and continue doing this and and she'll get used to it and stop hitting. This should scare her. Continue to do this and later on all you would have to use on her is your look and she'll know what that means. Spankin time. That's how my mom and dad did me although they never fought and i learned to never hit anyone unless they hit me first. Set this example for her at an early age....dont worry it's called...discipline!!!!!

  • Author
Posted

Thank you for the advise, I will try it. We also do time out in the highchair turned to the wall.

 

She is in her "terrible twos" so I have to learn not to take it personally, but getting her to know "the look" is a good idea.

 

thanks!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Thank god I'm not the only one with this problem. My 21 month old son does the exact same thing. He likes to hit and bite and pinch. I raise my voice to him and that doesn't help. I've also tried spanking, but he laughs also. I don't know what to do myself. I don't want to be spanking him over and over until he gets the picture and I hate having to raise my voice to him.

  • Author
Posted

g_tabatha,

 

We started putting her in time out, in her highchair facing the wall. It helps a little but shes still doing it.

 

It's probably a phase, I've concluded

Posted

thanks for that idea I think I'm going to try that!

Posted

Deleted post - rubbish computer :mad:

Posted

The way you give the time out is important for a child of this age. Always say the same thing in a slightly louder and firmer tone then normal "No. No hitting". Say it when your are at the child's level, their face should be level with yours and you should have eye contact (hold their chin gently if you need to). Then immediately go for time out.

 

Nurseries go for the high chair facing the wall because of lack of space and supervision. I've always found a different room or the hall better (a naughty step at the bottom of the stairs works well). If your child is old enough to understand, it's always the deed and not the child that's naughty. When they come back in the room they are a good girl who's not going to do the naughty thing again.

 

If none of this works - just remember it's a phase and it will pass.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

The reason the spanking wasn't effective (she laughed!) is because it didn't hurt. Spanking a kid through a diaper is pointless. Her clothes and the diaper need to come off. Spank her on the bare bottom with a light ruler, and I guarantee that will get her attention.

  • Author
Posted

ouch!

Posted

Believe me at that age they are simply seeing how far they can go before you react. Keep the punishment to fit the crime. Time out usually onlt works if they are missing out on something like playing with others or being involved with the family. just a simple time out won't work. when your child hits you place them in a corner, put on a favorite movie in the other room and let them hear it but not watch it. When the time out is over turn off the movie then let them know that if they don't hit again they can watch the movie tomorrow.

Remember don't wait to punish your child. They need to realize that what they JUST DID was wrong. Good luck. Mine is now a very well behaved, kind 7 yo.

 

Don't ever solve violence with violence...it solves nothing

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