houndsoflove24 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 I recently went out with a guy I had been talking to for about a month online. His profile says that he is looking for "new friends," so I went into our meeting thinking we'd just be hanging out in a platonic way. I was fine with it because hey, no pressure, and who doesn't want another friend? He is younger than I am and has only had one relationship before, in which he was hurt very badly by her cheating. He has never dated or slept with anyone else. We met up and after an hour of close walking and talking and eye contact, I felt myself starting to develop some non-platonic feelings for him. I couldn't tell if he was just a nice guy or if he felt the same way at first. We went out to lunch and he offered to pay. Being polite and again, thinking I was in the friend zone, I put money down for my half anyway. He told me that that made him feel like I wasn't "open" to him and he wished I would be, because he thinks I am "really great." My immediate thought then was, "Yay! It's a date!!!" and I told him that I didn't mean to offend him and think the same of him, that he is also really great. Things kind of proceeded in that way for the rest of the afternoon. He told me I have a really nice smile, held all doors open for me, asked me about previous relationships. He walked me to my car when I left and we hugged goodbye. He texted me an hour and a half later to make sure I had gotten home safely and confessed to me that he wished he had given me a goodnight kiss. I was ecstatic, thinking "that is so a date!" Here's where the confusion comes in. While we were together, I told him I had been talking to another guy on the same site but cancelled meeting up with him. My date/friend said I should reschedule with the other guy if I want to, to explore my options and that he "won't hold me back." I said I honestly didn't really want to. So, a couple of days after we met, he texts to ask if I've met up with the other guy yet. I say I haven't again and that I don't really want to. He said he thought I should to see if the other guy is the "option I prefer". I figured maybe he was trying to tell me in a nice way that he's not interested, so I let him know that if he ever decides he's not interested, it's OK to let me up front. He said that "of course" he would tell me and that he hoped I wasn't feeling insecure about myself or him. Then...the weirdness. He texts me again saying that now he's really confused, because he thought we were "just going to be friends" and now he can't tell whether I am thinking of him as a friend or as more. Whaaaat? I explained to him that that was my intent going in, but the vibes I was getting from him made me interested in more. We both left it on the vague note that hopefully our friendship will deepen into something much greater. He again told me to reschedule with the other guy and made a comment about "not being one to hold me back." We have plans for this weekend (which I scheduled) and honestly, I have no idea how to even proceed. I know how I WANT to proceed, but with his backing back into the friend zone but then giving me more hope that he wants more, I'm not sure about being more open/aggressive with him. What should I do? Thanks so much for your help!
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