Marine0311 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Well, a lot of people usually just fade away on this website after they move on or find success. So here I am too post and show for those of you who want your ex back, it can happen. Long story short I am a Marine and my gf (we brokeup for a few months) goes to college about 14,000 miles away from me. We live in a 6 hour time zone difference and back in August we broke up. We went without talking until about mid- Oct where she would randomly text me mean/hateful thkngs. All throughout this I played it cool and mature. I learned that during your breakup time, as much as it hurts, you need to use logic rather than emotion. I think I salvaged my relationship by not feeding into her games, emotions, and immaturity. Finally after a month of her trying to get my attention in sooo many immature ways I reached out too her maturely. I told her I'd be home in a few weeks and wanted too catch up. She agreed. When we met up I was on my A game. I showed interest in her life, but not too much. I left her guessing about my life and wondering. I kept her laughing and showed no sign of insecurities (asking about other guys, telling her how much i love her/ miss her, asking for her back, etc). After the hangout, I left without making plans to hangout again. She called me later that day too hangout and as much as I wanted to see her again, I said I was busy. I waited a day and asked her out to eat and we went out. I played it cool again, but showed I still had feelings by flirting, joking, makkng her laugh. After this date we spent the rest of my leave together having a great time. We are now back together and very happy! Happier than we were before, its like a new relationship. I show 0 insecurity and have not questioned her about what she did durig the time of our breakup. I feel better not knowing and shes more attracted too me knowing I can care less about it. Anyways, if you have any questions, ask away! It can work out but if you get a second chance heres 3 tips: 1) Be confident! 2) Look at it like a brand new relationship 3) The past is the past, overlook it. 3
Gottabestrong Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Hi Marine, I am happy for you! Thank you for posting this nugget of hope for those wishing for a second chance.
Darren From England Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Congratulations Marine, god bless x
Hurt55 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 how long were you guys together before the break up? and who initiated it? AND CONGRATS!!! I wish you two alot of happiness for many years to come!
Author Marine0311 Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Thank you guys.. We were together for 2 years and split up for about 5 months.. She brokeup with me, but we brokeup on good terms which turned to frustration and anger in her later on.
LostOne1 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Thank you guys.. We were together for 2 years and split up for about 5 months.. She brokeup with me, but we brokeup on good terms which turned to frustration and anger in her later on. I kinda wish I had gotten this type of advice WAY before. I wish I had played it cool when she BU with me. I didn't and we both said tons of things and did tons of things we didn't want to. I guess we hurt each other a lot and it's probably killed any chance we could've had back. But I guess I've learned too.. KEEP cool, confident, don't show you are insecure, and be strong always.
judithlove Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 how can you really know she wanted you back. beacuse my ex gives me signals his nice but i have no idea what he means>
Author Marine0311 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 @judith... i didnt really know, i just played cool, confident, and collected and when we finally hungout it clicked again 1
Hopeful714 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Why did she break up with you and would you have ever been the one to contact first if she did not?
Author Marine0311 Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 @hopeful, she brokeup with me because i think gigs. I would not have contacted her first except to say goodbye before I deploy next week.
soccerrprp Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Congratulations! Hope things work out. You not telling us anything new or insightful...more mind games actually. And for you, it worked. I seriously doubt that people don't believe such second chances happen. We all know that it does. But good for YOU. You have three pieces of advice that you share. 1) Be confident! 2) Look at it like a brand new relationship 3) The past is the past, overlook it. #1, of course. #2, the truth is that it isn't a new relationship. There's good and bad history. #3, well, you can't overlook the past especially since it was what broke you up in the first place. Don't dwell on it for certain, but hope what lead to the breakup has been discussed, hashed out. Overlooking is dangerous advice. Yeah, yeah, sour-puss. But being real. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Thank you guys.. We were together for 2 years and split up for about 5 months.. She brokeup with me, but we brokeup on good terms which turned to frustration and anger in her later on. Good for you, Marine. I don't mean to be a party-pooper or a very negative person, but in your case, she broke up with you and she wanted you back. In most cases, the people who have dumped their bf/gf do not want them back in the first place, so regardless of how we , dumpees, behave, it won't make a difference. In my case, it's been 9 days since I was dumped, and not a single word from my ex-bf, not even in the form of a holiday greeting. 1
Sugarkane Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Good luck to you. I also don't want to be negative, but how do you get over the resentment? That they can walk away so easily? How do you get over the paranoia that they can throw it all away again?
th90 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 but how do you get over the resentment? That they can walk away so easily? Resentment is only there if you allow it to be. True, it's terrifying how someone changes from loving you to bits to hating you and dumping you and walking away like you were worthless. So if they're going to do that to us, why don't we just take it, accept it as it is, put away all the hatred,anger,resentment and all the negative emotions behind with them in the past and move on for our own good?
Jono85 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Good luck to you. I also don't want to be negative, but how do you get over the resentment? That they can walk away so easily? How do you get over the paranoia that they can throw it all away again? this. i mean i respect and admire you for just simply letting everything go the way you have. that takes something i'm not sure i have in me. in my case, i've hurt my ex quite a few times, by breaking up with her early in the relationship and just not jumping in feelings wise the way she was. that being said, i never let her go, and we always got back together quickly and worked on things. but the last portion of our relationship, she simply seemed to lose her feelings and didn't care to work on us anymore. she's let me go go, and seems content that it's over (we haven't seen eachother since summer). she just started dating someone new, and although she says she would try things again with me if she wasn't dating him (i know i ****ed up there by telling her i want to try things again and put myself out there), the fact that she's given up, i don't know how i can ever forgive this or let it go if she comes back. the resentment will likely be too strong.
Jono85 Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Resentment is only there if you allow it to be. True, it's terrifying how someone changes from loving you to bits to hating you and dumping you and walking away like you were worthless. So if they're going to do that to us, why don't we just take it, accept it as it is, put away all the hatred,anger,resentment and all the negative emotions behind with them in the past and move on for our own good? yes...but we're discussing IF our exes come back and want to work things out again. how do you just forget them going from the most caring exes who loved us more than anything, to the coldest ppl in the world who don't seem to care/give a sh*t about our feelings anymore. i mean how do we just forget that if they try and come back later realizing what they gave up/think they made a huge mistake.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Good luck to you. I also don't want to be negative, but how do you get over the resentment? That they can walk away so easily? How do you get over the paranoia that they can throw it all away again? You shouldn't get over the paranoia is my advice. I really do think that if someone loved you so much, they wouldn't have let go in the first place, and even if they do love you, but are the "impulsive" type, then they will keep on dumping you again and again, as soon as they don't get their way. Do you seriously want to go through that? I went through that -- the constant threats of break-up and 2 actual break-ups with my bf -- and I can say that I don't want to ever experience that again. EVER. Towards the end, I was walking on eggshells ALL the time. I don't want that for myself. I can't live like that anymore. I lived like that for 6 months, and it really affected my mental and physical health, and turned me into someone I was not. Even my friends could no longer recognize me. I used to be independent, "taking no **** from anyone" type person, but I became the complete opposite, for fear that he'd dump me again. Which he did. I say, f*ck that, and move on. I know I will, the minute I realize that a new guy I'm dating is in the habit of blackmailing me with break-ups or acting impulsively like that.
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