PainsChains Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) My ex left me after 1.5 years because I guarded my heart. She was waiting on me to become as emotionally available as she was and, when I didn't soon enough, she took off with a guy who was. Our relationship had been incredible, though, and there was nothing to prevent reconciliation. I'd even asked that she marry me before it was all said and done, it was just too late. I came to realize my reluctance had made her feel sad and unappreciated during our relationship, but we'd never had any arguments and I'd never said a single thing unkind to her ever. So i kept up hope and would not move on! I went NC for 2 months. Then she called at 1 AM on a Wednesday and said she was second-guessing her decision. As soon as I told her I loved her and wanted her back, she said she was just being scared, because her new bf was asking that she move to his city to live with him at the end of the summer. Then she hung up on me. After another 2 months NC I randomly ran into her and we sat down to talk and she told me: "I could still feel that way about you again if I let myself". I got my hopes up. A week later I tried to reconnect and she rejected me. I thought it was over-over, but then 2 weeks later she invited me out via text. I showed up and it was her going-away party. I was crushed. Then she told me she loved me and ran into the bathroom crying. 4 days later I'm at a coffee shop holding her in my arms and we exchange I love you's and I'm kissing her on the neck but not on the mouth. She says she loves me but if she doesn't go try with him she'll always wonder "what if". So after hysterically crying, she drives off and he moves her away the next day. Two weeks later she comes back to town and actually stays the night in my bed like she used to, only this time she's fully clothed. We cuddle but don't kiss. She tells me she loves me. But then the next morning she leaves and goes back to his city where she lives with him. She tells me she's trying to "let it go" and drops off the earth for a month. Only to recontact me a month later after our anniversary. I tell her I've had enough, that she make up her mind, this was the last time I was ever talking to her again. And then... She said: "I've been thinking about you a lot lately." I said: "Why aren't you with me then?" She said: "Because I don't want to hurt him." I said: "Well someone's going to get hurt. I've been hurting for nine months. What hurt has he felt?" She said: "I've got to figure out something to tell him. I'll call you tomorrow." I said: "If you come back. You're coming back for good or don't." She said: "I know." I said: "I love you." She said: "I love you too." The next morning I get a text from her and it says: - This is the last time you'll hear from me. I'm pregnant. I'm sorry. Take care. That's the result of my ten months of fighting and believing in reconciliation. Today she posted on her blog how she misses me and is sad and wants to kiss me but did she ever once come back to me? NO! So be careful. I've cried everyday for ten months waiting for this girl. She left because I didn't open up to her right away and after 1.5 years this other guy came along and was ready to immediately. I treated her good. But I'm told he treats her better. She's told me many times that she's very happy and content. She's just sad, too, because she misses me. So just be careful how you put yourself out there. I'm very very very hurt for sitting around waiting for nearly a year of my life. I put my life completely on hold for her. Yet she's pregnant and living with another guy in another city with a new job and lots of new friends. Don't be me. Please. Don't. Edited December 11, 2012 by PainsChains
Sugarkane Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) Sorry you are hurting. She should be ashamed of herself for using two guys at once. And everyone attacks me for being skeptical on here about second chances!!! Does her new baby daddy know she was lying in bed fully clothed with you? I bet he doesn't. At least you're not stuck with someone that gets pregnant and uses/ leads other guys on aswell. She sounds VERY immature. Is there a way you could let the baby daddy know she wanted back together with you at the same time? Sounds like you gave her a second chance before she actually proved IF she was worth it. Edited December 11, 2012 by Sugarkane
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