screwedovertwenty Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 SOT brought up a good point! I also made him tell his parents because he was the one doing wrong by cheating. I left him on d-day. His parents lived next door to us, so they would have immediately noticed our absense.(me and the kids) I had to tell my parents, as that is where we went to stay. All of H's OW were single, so there were no spouses/boyfriends to tell. I also felt humiliated by the fact he was cheating on me. No one had ever cheated on me in all the years of dating many different guys. One reason I don't regret his parents knowing, is that they gave him a good talking to. They also pointed out just how different his life would be if I divorced him. He was about to lose everything over some young girls that wanted to have sex with him.(no love or emotions, only lust) Am I SOT??? LOL! I think I like that better than my actual screenname! I was a little out of sorts when I signed up. My husbands sister and mother told him to come clean with me. His sister texted me asking to call but I told her I couldn't talk. She texted with me for a while and let me know that they were there for us both. She told me that they would understand any decision that I made and that I need to make sure that I am happy. 1
Snowflower Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 My husbands sister and mother told him to come clean with me. His sister texted me asking to call but I told her I couldn't talk. She texted with me for a while and let me know that they were there for us both. She told me that they would understand any decision that I made and that I need to make sure that I am happy. Your story is very similar to mine in regards to H's family. They were very supportive of me. That was really nice of his sister to keep trying to be there for you. It has to be confusing for her. I believe in the whole "blood is thicker than water" thing but it really speaks well of them, like my own in-laws, to try to be so supportive at that time. 1
Gagirl Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sidlyon, you are very lucky the OW didn't come after you. Going after her job and telling her child was a little extreme! Again you are very lucky because she had nothing to lose after that. If they were normal people, they wouldn't get involved with MM to begin with. Be careful doing crazy **** like that. However, I do think it's wise to tell a few close friends or family for support. It can go a long way towards the healing process. I've always had to work through my own Problems and the outcome has not been pretty sometimes. I have a lot of built up anger and bitterness because it.
SidLyon Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sidlyon, you are very lucky the OW didn't come after you. Going after her job and telling her child was a little extreme! Again you are very lucky because she had nothing to lose after that. If they were normal people, they wouldn't get involved with MM to begin with. Be careful doing crazy **** like that. However, I do think it's wise to tell a few close friends or family for support. It can go a long way towards the healing process. I've always had to work through my own Problems and the outcome has not been pretty sometimes. I have a lot of built up anger and bitterness because it. You are wrong Gagirl about me being "lucky" in any way at all. I'm not sure what sort of person would consider my situation "lucky" in any way. I felt she had had already "come after me", and I felt I was the one with nothing to lose. I do agree she wasn't very normal , but I was hopeful that she wouldn't do anything "illegal" which she didn't, and neither did I. As for whether I did crazy stuff. I suppose some of the stuff I did around that time was crazy, although I felt "exposing" who she was to her people was one of the more rational things I did. Either way it didn't backfire on me in any way, so all's well that ends well, as they say... 1
CantgetoveritNY Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 It kinda sucks for the WS to cheat yet the BS feels embarrassed over it. I hope that's not the case for most. Another poster on another thread said "They do the crime but we do the time." Made me smile.
CantgetoveritNY Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 Sidlyon, you are very lucky the OW didn't come after you. Going after her job and telling her child was a little extreme! Again you are very lucky because she had nothing to lose after that. If they were normal people, they wouldn't get involved with MM to begin with. Be careful doing crazy **** like that. I agree that it is dangerous to go after the AP like that. But I'm doing it. I'm going after my WW's AP. His job specifically. He is a wealthy medical professorial and may lose his license for going after my wife, his patient. I know this is dangerous b/c he or his BW could expose my wife to a lot of people. If they do that she would hate me for it and it might ruin our chances of reconciliation. And humiliate me with a larger number of people. But I want to take that chance for two reasons. One not so good but obvious. Revenge. The other, I know this "professorial" has done this before and not been caught. I want to stop him from doing this to yet another family.
SidLyon Posted December 18, 2012 Posted December 18, 2012 I agree that it is dangerous to go after the AP like that. But I'm doing it. I'm going after my WW's AP. His job specifically. He is a wealthy medical professorial and may lose his license for going after my wife, his patient. I know this is dangerous b/c he or his BW could expose my wife to a lot of people. If they do that she would hate me for it and it might ruin our chances of reconciliation. And humiliate me with a larger number of people. But I want to take that chance for two reasons. One not so good but obvious. Revenge. The other, I know this "professorial" has done this before and not been caught. I want to stop him from doing this to yet another family. I agree it can sometimes be dangerous (which is not the same as agreeing I was "lucky"), to go after the AP but realistically the danger is not that great, and truly deranged/dangerous APs (aka bunny boilers) are not that common and are probably likely to be dangerous anyway. Everything I did was within the law (I'm a lawyer). Sadly I was unable to prevent "our" OW from being a participant in destroying another family, as the other MM eventually left his devastated BW and children for her.
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