mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 I'd been with my ex for 8 months, and two weeks ago, I broke up with him because I thought i had feelings for another ex, one who used me. I have a history of being dumped for other people, and if I actually had feelings for that other ex, I didn't want to hurt him, like I had been hurt before. Now, I realize there were no feelings there, and I made a mistake. He tells me how worthless I made him feel, how I messed him up. I was his first girlfriend in years. I realize now what I had with him, and I never intended to hurt him. What do I do??
na49 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Being dumped for someone else sucks. You shouldn't do anything. If he wants you back, he'll come back and tell you he wants you back. If he doesn't, you should leave him alone and learn from your mistake. You shouldn't treat him like he's disposable like that. I don't blame him for feeling worthless.
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 But I never told him that. Ever. I never said, I'm leaving you for someone else. Or I think I have feelings for someone else. But I never did. Its more like, Am I that committed?
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 But I never told him that. Ever. I never said, I'm leaving you for someone else. Or I think I have feelings for someone else. But I never did. Its more like, Am I that committed? And I know. I've been dumped AT LEAST 10 times.
Darren From England Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 You should have thought long and hard about the man you dumped before you dumped him, I have no sympathy for you at all, you thought the grass was greener and it simply wasn't "probably" because he dumped you again or you misunderstood his intentions, so you now try to go back to the man that you will have almost destroyed, I hope he does not get back with you 1
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 You should have thought long and hard about the man you dumped before you dumped him, I have no sympathy for you at all, you thought the grass was greener and it simply wasn't "probably" because he dumped you again or you misunderstood his intentions, so you now try to go back to the man that you will have almost destroyed, I hope he does not get back with you Yeah, I know. Thanks, by the way. Our relationship was dying. And I heard from friends that he was going to break up with me, then started spreading lies about the reasons we broke up. Like I told him, "I can't be with you anymore. You deserve someone better." He twisted that around by telling people, "She broke up with me because she said that she was too good for me." And yet I still want him back.
Chi townD Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Yeah, but he probably knows that you went surfing around your Ex. One thing about guys, if we don't understand the how and why, we go looking for the answers ourselves. Plus, people love to gossip. Someone might have said something to him. Sorry, but if the guy got hurt, then there's not really much you can do accept to move on. I know, not what you wanted to hear, but it is what it is. You went to see if the grass was greener...found out it wasn't. The fact is, you were in the driver seat when you dumped him. Now, he's in the drivers seat about coming back to the relationship or not.
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 Yeah, but he probably knows that you went surfing around your Ex. One thing about guys, if we don't understand the how and why, we go looking for the answers ourselves. Plus, people love to gossip. Someone might have said something to him. Sorry, but if the guy got hurt, then there's not really much you can do accept to move on. I know, not what you wanted to hear, but it is what it is. You went to see if the grass was greener...found out it wasn't. The fact is, you were in the driver seat when you dumped him. Now, he's in the drivers seat about coming back to the relationship or not. I didn't go for my ex. He came for me. And I told no one. College is the biggest hellhole for drama. Everyone loves to gossip (including me) so I've been keeping to myself lately. And he has no idea who he was. Yeah. I know, GIGS. I've been expecting answers like yours. Thanks.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 There's nothing you can really do except next time think more and react less. You had a rash reaction and now you have yourself in a pickle, and you totally deserve to be there. I'm not going to bag on you anymore, but let's be honest, you didn't dump him because "he deserved someone better than you." That's a line. You dumped him because you thought you could do better. My advice: learn from your mistakes here and don't act on every whim you have.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 I didn't go for my ex. He came for me. And I told no one. College is the biggest hellhole for drama. Everyone loves to gossip (including me) so I've been keeping to myself lately. And he has no idea who he was. Yeah. I know, GIGS. I've been expecting answers like yours. Thanks. He came for you and instead of stepping back and thinking about it, you made a rash decision that turned out to be offbase. You got rid of the bird in the hand for two in the bush, and now you are birdless. It's a learning experience. Crap happens. You aren't a bad person, just need to exercise a bit more self-control. You'll learn. 1
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 There's nothing you can really do except next time think more and react less. You had a rash reaction and now you have yourself in a pickle, and you totally deserve to be there. I'm not going to bag on you anymore, but let's be honest, you didn't dump him because "he deserved someone better than you." That's a line. You dumped him because you thought you could do better. My advice: learn from your mistakes here and don't act on every whim you have. You don't know me. Yes, I've been told I'm indecisive. Yeah. It's a line. And no, I didn't think I could do better. Self esteem has been pretty low lately. Self Harm has been evident for years. So yeah. What else am I supposed to say? Hurt him like he hurt me the first three times he broke up on me??
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 You don't know me. Yes, I've been told I'm indecisive. Yeah. It's a line. And no, I didn't think I could do better. Self esteem has been pretty low lately. Self Harm has been evident for years. So yeah. What else am I supposed to say? Hurt him like he hurt me the first three times he broke up on me?? Who broke up with you three times? The ex who came back that caused you to dump the other guy? or the guy you just dumped?
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 He came for you and instead of stepping back and thinking about it, you made a rash decision that turned out to be offbase. You got rid of the bird in the hand for two in the bush, and now you are birdless. It's a learning experience. Crap happens. You aren't a bad person, just need to exercise a bit more self-control. You'll learn. Yeah. Not the best person in the world. But I know how it feels. Would you feel better if your girlfriend broke up with you because A) She had feelings for someone else. B) She thought she had feelings for someone else.
Author mistakesmakeyouwhat Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 Who broke up with you three times? The ex who came back that caused you to dump the other guy? or the guy you just dumped? The guy who I just dumped.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Yeah. Not the best person in the world. But I know how it feels. Would you feel better if your girlfriend broke up with you because A) She had feelings for someone else. B) She thought she had feelings for someone else. Neither one would make me feel good at all. You are basically asking if I'd rather have AIDS or cancer. Both suck. Either way, I would be seen as "second best" and I'm no one's consolation prize.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 The guy who I just dumped. I think you need to find fresh guys you are more compatible with than going back with guys that haven't worked out at all. Maybe it's a good thing that you don't have either one of those guys -- you can figure out what you truly want and find someone you don't have to break up and make up with all the time. Drama might be fun for some, but it's not exactly healthy ya know?
coffeebean201 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Hey, So he felt worthless and messed up after this break up. This is something that is pretty honest of him to share. He sounds quite articulate. You have a history of being dumped, at least 10 times. And you don't want that to keep happening. Now he knows how much that hurts. Your college is a hellhole (in your words) of gossip and keeping to yourself seems to dampen the gossip. Sounds like an ok situation that can heal itself if you both love each other and want it to work.
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