Author Tainted love Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Call her husband and tell him what you know. Forward the email she sent you with the photo attached. Put the telling his place of employment on hold. Though, he needs to consider transferring or quitting his job because no way can the two of them work together anymore..That's just asking for trouble and won't help your marriage if you choose to give him a second chance. Of course they are both going to minimize it, so they won't have to face consquences or the fallout of their selfish choices. Tell your SO's mom to butt out of it, she gets no say in how you handle this or your marriage. I haven't told their work. That's probably the one thing I'm reluctant to do. It puts us in a messy situation if he loses his job and that would bring more gloom to my life. I have told him that he can't work with her anymore though. I told is mother to stay out of it today...I was scared but it felt good! Probably the first sleep I've had which was unbroken.
Author Tainted love Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Yes, you are still being gas lighted. Kick him out of the house and make him go stay with his mommy, since he's still hiding behind her apron. I told his mommy today, and I'm glad I did -she didn't take it very well. She's very well to do and thinks she's powerful (or at least used to be) and she seemed shocked I told her to back off. It's about time somebody did - you were all right on the money with your advice. I threw him out as soon as I found out. I can't bear him at the moment. He admitted that he pursued her which has been another horrible thing to hear today but I guess, was I expecting anything else? I'm taking time out, trying to forget what was feeling like a deadline - Christmas holidays - and trying to work my way through all of the horrid feelings and emotions that keep running me over like a truck every few hours. 1
Realist3 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 It won't your integrity at all. You need to do whatever you can to protect your marriage and keep MW away from your husband, stop the A completely. Her husband deserves to know the truth. MW emailed YOU and exposed the A so just forward what she sent to you, to her husband. This isn't revenge, this is a process that does happen to prevent and stop the affair in it's tracks. Of cpurse it will hurt her integrity. Everyone will see it as the vengeful act it is.
Author Tainted love Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 I don't want vengeance. I want to ensure the affair has ended and by everyone covering their tracks and keeping it secret, I have no chance to do that. What would you suggest, Realist? Smile and apologise for all of the fuss??? I don't think you're going to be helpful to me or my situation when you come from a standpoint that affairs are standard. 1
2sunny Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Tell her betrayed husband BEFORE the holiday - so he knows reality in his life and wife - and so he doesn't pretend things are glorious with his cheating wife. Look him up on intellius - if you need to, spend $50 to get his info. Seems like your H is STILL willing to protect his OW since he won't be transparent and give her husband's contact info. The gut never lies! I'd bet money he's still seeing her. And I wouldn't take him back - based on the info you've given here - he seems sorry he got caught - not sorry he did it... BIG difference!
Author Tainted love Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Tell her betrayed husband BEFORE the holiday - so he knows reality in his life and wife - and so he doesn't pretend things are glorious with his cheating wife. Look him up on intellius - if you need to, spend $50 to get his info. Seems like your H is STILL willing to protect his OW since he won't be transparent and give her husband's contact info. The gut never lies! I'd bet money he's still seeing her. And I wouldn't take him back - based on the info you've given here - he seems sorry he got caught - not sorry he did it... BIG difference! I think you're definitely right about feeling sorry he was caught 2sunny. He doesn't really seem to grasp the pain he is putting me through. At first, I kept describing the pain to him but now I think I'm realising he hasn't got the capacity to understand this. He only feels pain for himself and has no empathy for others. He described his OW in such awful ways that I almost laughed - if she was so awful, why sleep with her?
Author Tainted love Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Whether you do it for revenge or not...does it change the fact that her BS should know what he is dealing with so that he can protect himself. No. I would want to know so I could make choices for myself based on the truth, not on deceit. I'm going to try harder to find out how I can contact him. 2
Decorative Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 No. I would want to know so I could make choices for myself based on the truth, not on deceit. I'm going to try harder to find out how I can contact him. Intellius and Spokeo are good resources for contact information. And I like your attitude. Good for you. 1
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