frederickkk Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 you all know me.....when the day comes where there is a photo of us back together ill post it! In the mean time.... xmas, and her birthday on boxing.....i want to get her something. so any suggestions as to what? no point with flowers. won't work. experience. any thoughts?
lakerman34 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 I say everything that you still own that's hers. It'll make the PERFECT gift. Just put it ALL in a box, and NO NEED TO WRAP IT, and NO CARD. If she doesn't like flowers, she probably won't like wrapping paper or cards either. Then, MAIL IT TO HER! No message needed! This is a GREAT gift idea.
Author frederickkk Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 I say everything that you still own that's hers. It'll make the PERFECT gift. Just put it ALL in a box, and NO NEED TO WRAP IT, and NO CARD. If she doesn't like flowers, she probably won't like wrapping paper or cards either. Then, MAIL IT TO HER! No message needed! This is a GREAT gift idea. A ****ing men. I might just do that.
Author frederickkk Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 possibly the best thing i could do. gives her a chance to confront her feelings.
Renard99 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) You said that you still had a ring for her. Being as you've said you'll never fall in love with another woman again except her, why don't you give that to her. It's pointless otherwise because you're not going to wear it and she's the only girl you'll ever love and you know that for a fact. You also know that you'll never ever meet anyone like her because you know your own future. You also know exactly what she's thinking better than she does so you know that she'll want it. She might as well have the ring. Edited December 11, 2012 by Renard99
spaniard Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 She is your ex who will not come back to you ever in this life. Are you friends? No. Do you have children? No. Then why would you send her anything for her birthday?
Renard99 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 She is your ex who will not come back to you ever in this life. Are you friends? No. Do you have children? No. Then why would you send her anything for her birthday? These aren't obstacles to him. Remember, he's been blessed with the gift of knowing exactly what she's thinking. He's also going with the thought that because she loved him at one point, she always will. We can't offer any real advice until he changes that view and he has already said that he never will. I admire him for his fighting spirit but if only he'd channel some of that spirit into moving on.
Author frederickkk Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 with respect Renard, I have moved on, Ive been in the gym, but in all honesty, despite losing a stone, i've dipped in motivation. I can go anywhere in the world right now, start a new life, doing what I want, comfortably. But I'm not letting this one go.
Sav Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 with respect Renard, I have moved on, Ive been in the gym, but in all honesty, despite losing a stone, i've dipped in motivation. I can go anywhere in the world right now, start a new life, doing what I want, comfortably. But I'm not letting this one go. Sounds like moving on to me :D:D
lakerman34 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Buy her a Porsche. In my experience, luxurious, sexy cars will ALWAYS win the girl back.
Author frederickkk Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 money doesn't buy happiness. i could buy myself a porsche. waste of time. sits there. no thanks.
winstonsdreams Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Dude these people are all taking the p*** out of you man, sorry but it's cruel and sad to see. Dude do not contact her ever again you understand me. Be a man and move on. There is nothing you can do to get her back, NOTHING. These people seem harsh but it's because everyone has been in your shoes. I have and i am telling you the only thing that helped was to do NOTHING. I have been NC for so long i lost count of the days. It still hurts, trust me it does but i won't give up, i will find another and i will love again. Now when my ex's birthday came up i remained silent, i might have seemed like a c*** but hey, you have to be selfish sometimes. Dude move on, please, do not contact her ever again.
spaniard Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) "with respect Renard, I have moved on" No, you haven't. By the way, answer me 2 questions, my old chap fred. 1) Why do you want to humiliate yourself by giving her a present? 2) Why do you want to show how weak you are to your ex-gf, even though lakerman, I and a whole lot of guys here have told you NEVER ever show weakness in front of your ex? (It's not that because showing strength would make her go back to you. It's about your dignity. You can rip off a man's legs, arms etc etc, but until he has his dignity, he remains intact as a man. If you stay strong and keep your dignity after the BU, you'll be far better in the BU period.) Btw my ex's birthday is on Friday I guess. Why should I give a damn about it, really? Edited December 11, 2012 by spaniard 1
lakerman34 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 If not a car, a nice engagement ring. Shows her that you REALLY care. Girls melt for that kind of stuff.
Sav Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 If not a car, a nice engagement ring. Shows her that you REALLY care. Girls melt for that kind of stuff. I think a house would be a better choice. Girls dig that
Renard99 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 with respect Renard, I have moved on, But I'm not letting this one go. That is, in this scenario, the exact definition of not moving on. Working out, going travelling and all that effort means absolutely nothing if all you do is continue to contact, think of and actively persue the person you are moving on from. The thing I think is funny about this is that, even if we did all support trying to get your ex back, which we don't, you're still going about it all wrong, but again, I'm sure you won't listen to this either............. I went totally No Contact on my ex and, after 8 months of not writing to her, emailing her, texting her and not seeing her in the street, I bumped into her and did nothing other than smile. An hour later I got an email from her stating she missed me and wanted to try again. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ex's rarely come back, but of all the times I can think of when they have done, it's because the person who was dumped disappeared from their lives. I would reccommend giving it a try but after months of us trying to help you still shun our advice.
Renard99 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Dude these people are all taking the p*** out of you man, sorry but it's cruel and sad to see. Dude do not contact her ever again you understand me. Be a man and move on. There is nothing you can do to get her back, NOTHING. These people seem harsh but it's because everyone has been in your shoes. I have and i am telling you the only thing that helped was to do NOTHING. I have been NC for so long i lost count of the days. It still hurts, trust me it does but i won't give up, i will find another and i will love again. Now when my ex's birthday came up i remained silent, i might have seemed like a c*** but hey, you have to be selfish sometimes. Dude move on, please, do not contact her ever again. Yes, we are being harsh, but I'm afraid he's just not listening to friendly advice. I have advised him on many occasions to not contact her over the last couple of months but he doesn't listen. Even being cruel to be kind hasn't worked either. He will not stop until he is back with his ex. He has made this completely clear even if that means being on this forum forever more. I admire his spirit but as you point out "There is nothing you can do to get her back, NOTHING" but he simply refuses to believe this. 1
Author frederickkk Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 i know this....i know i should go dead. no contact. i have a panic problem. anxiety problem. this is why i keep sending emails. i shouldve gone dead on contact with her. but she is at university, one of the most populous areas, 3 universities in 1 city. i am fighting it every single day. and she always wanted to instigate the no contact. each time i broke the barrier, she was close. so close. its my fault for chasing it. i just cant handle the fact she is up there. god knows who she is meeting, what she is doing. its a mind ****. i feel i have to keep her updated with my plans. what if she came back in May and wanted to see me, and Im in India, America, whereever? You see? I dont want to miss my chance. This is why Ive kept up contact, to keep me in her head, and know what is what.
spaniard Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I think you don't have a panic attack or any kind of disorder. You are broken hearted, that's all. And guess what, it's perfectly normal. However, you are trying to live your life like she was the center of the universe. You subjugate yourself to this girl (I hope it makes sense in English). And even though you had the courage to travel to India/America whatever, but you don't make them happen, because the only purpose of your life has become, in one word: waiting. Waiting for her to show up and change her mind. Now that's the mental problem, my friend. I hope you're aware that what you're doing now is wrong. 2
Renard99 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Oh, believe me, I know it's a mind ****. It was for a lot of us but by keeping you in her head she's not going to miss you. If you keep her updated with your plans she can never think "I wonder what he's doing?" or "I wonder where he is?" because she already knows. Think of it this way..... ever had a song get stuck in your head and it stays there for so long you begin to hate it?.....You try to get rid of it. Now think of it the other way around....... ever had a favourite song come on the radio that you haven't heard for 6 months or a year? You crank it up loud. It doesn't matter if you're in India or America. If she's thinking of you and her heart desires you, she'll contact you wherever you are. You love this girl, so even if you are in India, you'll get home somehow. And..... I know that as far as you're concerned this will never happen, but..... if she doesn't ever contact you and you're in India.... well.... the **** it, you're having fun in India. I appreciate that you have anxiety problems and it's not easy, but believe me, you're doing all the things that we've seen people on here do before and they have all failed to win back their ex. Then, look at people who did the whole no contact thing, some of them, including me, had their ex get back in contact. I know you want to do this your own way, but the facts are the facts, and currently, you're doing yourself no good at all
Author frederickkk Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 its really affecting me though. its 3.30pm and im trying to work, but im drawn to emailing her. it is that bad.
Author frederickkk Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 when we talked a month ago, and i said "when i eventually move on/..." her response: "huh? move on?" yeah that. doesn't want me to move on.
Author frederickkk Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 I think you don't have a panic attack or any kind of disorder. You are broken hearted, that's all. And guess what, it's perfectly normal. However, you are trying to live your life like she was the center of the universe. You subjugate yourself to this girl (I hope it makes sense in English). And even though you had the courage to travel to India/America whatever, but you don't make them happen, because the only purpose of your life has become, in one word: waiting. Waiting for her to show up and change her mind. Now that's the mental problem, my friend. I hope you're aware that what you're doing now is wrong. Ok, you are right. There is a course I want to do in America. 4 Years. I want to do this course. She is here in UK. 2 years left of uni starting sept 2013. I don't wish to leave this country.
Renard99 Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) when we talked a month ago, and i said "when i eventually move on/..." her response: "huh? move on?" yeah that. doesn't want me to move on. Why isn't she with you then? Did she actually say the words "I don't want you to move on". I don't see them written there. And anyway, you actually want to be with someone that's immature enough to want someone to be single for the rest of their life, just in case she wants to have a relationship in the future? You want to be with someone that makes you suffer buy not being in a relationship with you. She's all yours mate, because I certainly wouldn't date her. By all means don't move one, stay exactly where you are lusting after an immature girl....but.....I'll say it again..... You're doing all the wrong things. People on here have tried it time and time again and all have failed. On the other hand, people who have not contacted their ex have had success. Even people who have moved on have had their exs contact them because they now want what they can't have. Even when presented with methods that occasionally work to get your ex back you still ignore the advice. Really mate, you need to start taking a step back from everything, open you eyes and try something different otherwise you are destined to fail. Edited December 12, 2012 by Renard99
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