libb420 Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color] My story is sad and complicated. My relationship has been through hell let me tell you this! Well it all started in March, when he broke up with me. I had panic attacks, did the whole begging thing and after 3 weeks we were back together. His reasoning for breaking up with me was because we were arguing too much (I have agression issues) and the only way to make me see how it was hurting our relationship was to leave me until I decided to see a counselor. So I did, and got put on anti depressants, but I didn't stick to the meds or the Counseling, leading back to the arguments on a daily basis. (I am hard to deal with, I pick a fight with everything, and I can't compromise, I am a stubborn girl.) We were doing ok otherwise, moved into an apartment together when 2 saturday's ago, it hit the fan. We got into a heated argument in the car, and I slapped him. Then I proceeded to hit him again, and I tried to attack him like 2 times. The neighbors called the cops because they heard us arguing and we both got taken to jail. The police officers put a mandatory 18 day no contact in order until our court date which is on the 18th. This has been very hard to keep. I was arrested for disorderly contact and the only reason he was taken in was for not paying speeding tickets from a previous time. He didn't hit me, all he did was run away from me. He didn't press charges, but now he's got fines on his hands for the 2 speeding tickets he didn't pay as well as an underage drinking ticket because he was drunk. (I was drunk too, but I am 21). So now, I am sitting at ny parents house while he got the apartment because I was nice enough to let him stay there (Only one of us can stay because of the no contact.) I am deeply sorry for raising my hands to him, and I got into counseling right away as well as on different meds that I know I need to take on aregular basis so I don't freak out on anyone anymore. I have heard through his family, his friends, that there is a possibility for us when the court date is done, that he doesn't know what is going to happen, but he still loves me. I have a 1,000 lawyer fee to pay, so he can try and get me off on a lesser charge, court costs, as well as rent owed to our apartment that I can't live in. I am moving in with my sister but I have to pay her rent too. It's a huge mess that is changing my life. It would be easier to get through if I knew my boyfriend and I would be together after the 18th. All I can hope is that he will take the time to hear what I have to say and try and make things work. We have been together 2 years almost. I love him with all my heart and I know that he is the one for me. The source of our problems was my mental illness and now I am dedicated to keeping it under control. I think he should give me another chance, but he made the point that he forgave last time, how often is it going to happen in the future if ever again? On top of this sticky siutation, the day that I left the apartment after I packed my things to go to my rents I discovered a note on my roomate's (Anna's) dresser. Anna and bob had been friends since they were 12 and Anna and her fiancee lived in the room next to ours. It had stated that her and my boyfriend Bobby had shared a drunken kiss the last time we broke up, which was never even brought to my attention. Anna and Kris have vacated the apartment because they don't want to be involved in our legal mess so they went home by their parents. I talked to both of them and they both said it happened, but that bobby denies it. Anna and her fiancee have lied about stuff in the past and so has Bobby so I have no clue who to believe. If this wasn't enough, I have my parents to battle as well. My mom called Bobby the day after all this happened, and he was obviously upset and she was upset and they got into it. My mom thinks that all of this is Bobby's fault and that he drove me to hit him. She refuses to believe that her kid could do something wrong. So I am now forbidden to see my boyfriend or ex boyfriend even if he does forgive me. I guess in a perfect world, I would go to Court, get things straightened out, pay my dues and get on with my college education and life. I want to have an open relationship with Bobby where we could perhaps forgive each other from all past offenses and in a sense, start from scratch, rebuild the trust, and rebuild the good relationship we had a year ago. We both need to be in counseling together and I need to stick to mine as well as taking my proper meds. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Do they think this relationship is too messed up to even try and work out? I am very sorry for what I did and I have to live with that forever. If it ultimately ends my relationship then I will be so mad at myself and nobody else. It sucks so bad because I can't even try and tell him I'm sorry until after our court date of next week the 18th, which is so far. I have gone one week, so hopefully this one will go fast. Any comments would be awesome I know this scenerio makes me out to be a psycho girlfriend, but I'm really not. I just have anger issues and express them in the wrong way. Oh and I didn't seriously hurt him and he pressed no charges. The police did so its out of our hands. All I did was slap him in the face like 2 times, the screaming is what got the cops involved and I was so scared I couldn't lie, I confessed to hitting him even before he told them I did.
Fayebelle Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 Let your lawyer handle the legalities and you focus on yourself. Therapy is definately a good idea here. Remember- no matter what- the only thing you can control in any relationship is yourself. You can't fix the past but you can polish yourself for a brighter future. IF your BF wants to mend bridges- make sure it's the best side of yourself he's getting by continuing therapy and making yourself happy. Your mom will come around. If he doesn't - at least you will be set for a happier relationship w/someone else (minus the baggage of this one) in the future Either way- YOU are the only person you can Definately improve everyday. Let that be your focus for now and the rest will fall in line. Good Luck I wish you the best!
KaiaMahina Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 That your mother believes that anyone can be "driven" to hit another person is very sad. Sorry to say it, but it was your choice to neglect taking your meds and also your choice to hit this guy. You need to get that straight with your mother. Secondly, if you're 21 as you indicated, how can you be "forbidden" by your parents to have anything to do with him? Age of majority is 18.
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