Ladies, what if he told you he is a virgin?

[Kilted Quill]

Hello, ladies. I was wondering if you could offer a guy your thoughts on the matter.

 

So you're out one day when you meet a guy. Glances are thrown, smiles are exchanged. Someone takes the first leap, and conversation is struck up. Over numerous coffee dates you find yourself beginning to like this guy, finding him a refreshing change from all the other douche-monkeys you wasted your valuable time trying to humanize. There's no leering stares or stupid boasts of how he totally pwns n00b ass at Call of Duty. His hands haven't tried to find their way up under your shirt, nor he hasn't spent the last five minutes talking to your breasts. You smile, thinking that maybe you've found "The One".

 

Deciding to take no chances, you quickly lay your claim and take on this promising young man, declaring him your new boyfriend (Which he immediately and wholeheartedly agrees to because why the f#ck not you're fabulous). The relationship grows, and as is only natural you begin to think of acting on the advice of your less lady-like friends to "get nekkid and do the horizontal monster mash".

 

You decide to act on their advice and bring it up with your beau. To ease him into the conversation you ask about past experiences. You've already mentioned that you've had boyfriends in the past, and he makes no great stink at hearing that you've had sex before (And why should he, you're a human being enjoying her life). Calmly and gently, you ask him about his history.

 

Suddenly, he looks uncomfortable.

 

"Yeah," he smiles nervously, not quite meeting your eyes, "About that..."

 

That was the day you discovered your new love-interest; the guy you like, admire, and have often contemplated riding like a warhorse... still has his membership to the V-club tucked away in his wallet.

 

Hello, ladies. Welcome to my hell. May I take your coats?

 

Some background: I'm a 21 year-old guy born and raised in bonnie ol' Scotland; land of kilts, whisky, and badass accents. When not wearing blue face paint, pillaging English cities and screaming "FREEEDOOOM!" like it's 1296, I spend my days as a humble college student (hopefully) clawing my way towards a career as a published author.

 

I'm also a virgin. In every sense of the word.

 

I'm not ashamed to admit it. During my teenage years when most guys I knew were off sneaking into clubs, getting spew-on-the-ground drunk every other night and shagging anything on two legs, I was off doing my own thing, protectively cocooned in my own bubble of introversion. It was never that I couldn't get a girlfriend... I just didn't want one at that point in my life. Friends tried to pressure me, but I didn't see a need nor did I feel any great desire for that type of relationship. I had friends and family and that was enough for me. Girlfriends can come later, I reasoned, I'm happy with what I have.

 

Well fast forward a few years to today. I'm 21 and that little part of every guy that tells him he should get a girlfriend has finally woke up. I'm more than happy to oblige it, but avoiding dating/shagging during my teen years when everybody else were going at it like jackhammers has left me a bit "inexperienced" in matters of the heart... and loins. I'm just wondering if a woman meets a relatively good-looking, well dressed, nice guy who treats them right and can carry a conversation, but finds out that he is completely inexperienced in those areas, how much would that matter to her?

 

So, girls, women and ladies, my question to you is this: How vital is it for you that the guy have sheet experience? Is it an absolute must for you, or could you see yourself looking past (or even enjoying) his lack of sexual mileage?

 

Please, let me know your thoughts on the matter. Thanks

[Necromancer]

To long didn´t read. Don´t tell her that you are a V.

 

No matter what the women here say. it´s a instant turnoff after certain age.

[Carenth]

You are 21 don't worry about it, you are fine. Being a virgin isn't a badge of shame. If someone give your a hard time about that, they are not worth your time.

Edited December 10, 2012 by Carenth

[pbjbear]

Well, the GOOD part about being a virgin is that most girls your age are already used to pretty lame sex that lasts about 8 minutes, so it really shouldn't be an issue for you.

 

When I think back to that age, I realize just how much the sex actually sucked because it was all about the guy jumping on and being finished when he climaxed.

 

Hardly the thing dreams are made of.

 

Don't get your sex education from stupid porn. Spend some time learning how a woman's body actually works so that you know what you're doing when the time comes.

 

Mark my words - if you don't make it all about YOU she's going to come back for more.[/QUOTE]

 

Id rather take a virgin thats not selfish in bed compared to most of the men Ive slept with (which fits the first bolded part)

[Divasu]

Whatever you decide to do, don't lie and tell her you're not a virgin.

[newmoon]

at 21? it doesn't matter at all

at 25? it'd be a concern, but still not too big

at 30? you could be gay

above 30? you likely have a serious mental, emotional, or social issue that's blocking you

 

you've got plenty of time to find the right one, don't fret

[ThaWholigan]

Speaking as a guy who lost their virginity this year (at 23), here are some little tidbits before the rest of the ladies impart their advice:

 

- Be honest about your virginity. Don't treat it as a burden or something you're desperate to get rid of. Conversely, don't hold it up as some sort of super ideal either. Just reference it casually, like it's normal. Because it is normal.

 

- Don't be nervous! Try to relax. Learn to edge if you're worried about lasting long.

 

- Focus on her. The best way to forget about your inexperience is to focus on her and her mind and body. Experiment an find out what she responds to etc etc.

 

Don't worry about who doesn't like inexperience. Find the ones who do, and they are out there - you just have to be comfortable how you are now .

[TheZebra]

Honestly, I wouldn't see it as a big deal at all. While experience can be nice, I know that many women enjoy a man who hasn't done everything under the sun (and wants to try everything with them on the first go already). If it comes up in conversation be honest about it, just don't make it the centerpiece of the conversation.

[Revolver]

I think for most women it depends on the age. When a man has no sexual experience past a certain age it usually for a reason and it means he's undesirable and no other women want him. Now there are a few religious guys who are saving themselevs for marriage but lets be honest, that only makes up a very tiny portion of the male virgin community.