Kisliean Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) If you haven't read my super old thread, I have this "friend" that treated me like I didn't mean anything. Our conversations became short, he'd respond with one word answers, he basically was being nice, but at the same time, he showed me he didn't give a crap about me. Well, he wrote an email, 2, actually, saying he missed me after I ignored his text. The second one kind of got under my skin, so I didn't respond. I just addressed one part of the email through text and he apologized. A month later, he randomly texts me saying he is really sorry for how he's been acting, and he doesn't know how he can go on living his life when he's treated me badly and that he wanted us to talk and work things out and he wasn't gonna run away anymore. A part of me rolled my eyes and said whatever, another part wanted to give him a chance. I gave him a chance. I listened to what he had to say. It was just bull****. We changed the subject and talked about other stuff. Nothing was settled. We didn't talk after that. One day I was getting my little sister from school, and eh KNOWS I pick her up, and he was standing there waiting with her, when he usually doesn't. I guess he expected me to say hi or something, but I didn't. No, he wasn't hitting on my sister, she's around 10 year old. So, I felt bad. I texted him "Thanks for waiting with my sister" and he said "No problem" A month later, we still aren't talking. What's his problem? Why would he send me THREE text messages...LONG ones...talking about how he feels bad and wants us to work things out and he's gonna try? Was he just trying to get an ego boost or something? Should I have not said anything? I don't understand Also, I would LOVE it if a guy could explain this behavior to me? Why would a guy I was very close to suddenly push me away? Then when I give him space, he randomly wants to work things out, and when I let him work things out, he runs away again? If you don't want me, leave me alone! Make up your mind and stick with it. You don't see me flip flopping and messing with your head, at least have some respect and not lead me on. Edited December 10, 2012 by Kisliean
Axee Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 This one is a dangerous species of men called Guys who blow hot and cold. 1
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 It was nice of you to try to talk to him and work things out. It was smart of you to push him out the door when he continued with his behavior. From my experience and this is just my experience. Hot and cold guys never change. There are several reasons why a guy does those things. They are broken, some committmentaphobes and others just know your not the one. As in the girl that comes along and does make his heart skip a beat, he will treat like a princess. From everything I've seen and read these men don't change with the person they're blowing hot and cold with. I agree with the first poster about them being dangerous. They can suck you in and they'll string you along until they're done. They all say they care but when it comes down to it can't and won't show it. Words are crap actions are what its all about. It was smart of you to cut him off after your little talk. Just know that you have done the right thing by not letting this guy string you along. Be proud of yourself and don't settle for less then you deserve. Good luck!! 1
Author Kisliean Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 Exactly! Thank you for putting it so beautifully. I'm going to leave him alone
coffeebean201 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Is he passive aggressive? Either way he sounds complicated, and unwilling to share what is bothering him when problems arise.
Author Kisliean Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 Yeah, he's passive aggressive and very sensitive. He texted me a few days ago to ask how things are going. It was a very short convo and it didn't seem like either one of us was interested in keeping things going. I used to be so eager to speak to him, and losing him was so painful, but it's amazing how little I care now. I just wish he would be DIRECT. Either stop talking to me, or be consistent when you tell me you want us to work things out. It's so frustrating. The hot cold thing is him exactly.
Quest4_TheLost Posted December 17, 2012 Posted December 17, 2012 I know how you feel I recently dealt with the same thing. We haven't spoken in a month or so and to be completley honest I'm thankful he no longer bothers me. Although we did have a huge falling out at the end where things got physical. Even though he is abusive and has a lot of issues it was still painful to lose him. I do know how you feel on some note though. The hot and cold game gets very exausting. Just don't forget that you deserve to have it all!! Not to be just an option to someone who has his head where the sun dosen't shine. :bunny:HUGS:bunny: 1
Author Kisliean Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Yes, that's just what I feel like..an option. I'm really tired of it all, honestly. I've moved on.
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