My Girlfriend Dumped Me and I wanna know if she means it or she needs time

[Jaredh2elga]

Alrighty then, so basically, My girlfriend and I broke up roughly 2 months ago and our anniversary is tomorrow >>* but, (and she was my first girlfriend, and i was her first real boyfriend (i was the first one she went pasted kissing with ) the details of the break-up are a bit fuzzy and I want to know whether she's confused or if she really needs to be left alone and i need to move on.

 

Her and I basically sorta started dating outta the blue back 12 months ago and i was reluctant at first and she was getting over someone that she was clinging onto unneedly. But after dazzling her parents, friends and her, I basically found a very cozy place in her heart (as she did mine). But the problem was that we got too codependent on each other. I was basically coming over every other day literally, and we were finding very little to do other then lie down with each other and just be. Which was very sweet and all but back 2 months ago she had a BIG breakdown bcuz i was going into the Navy at the end of the year and she was scared of not being able to see me much at all (and she stopped taking her anti-depressants w/o telling any1 >>*). So her parents barred me from seeing her and took her to counseling and 2 weeks later, she called it quits. (without telling me much of why, other then that id been too clingy which made me laugh coming from her..)

 

I probably should've left her alone for a while but i didnt know what to do so i ended up freaking out a *tinyy bit at first and then after talking with her parents i felt all good and stuff and they reassured me they never hated me their just doing what they think is right and all was okay. BUT then the following week i saw her just hugging up some new guys and i got a bit mad and ended up shoving her in the hallway (not into anything, not saying anything, not knocking her over, JUST outta the way.. AND i said i was sorry by the end of the day in a such a sincere voice i didnt even know i had..) and immediately afterwards i felt like crap and started txting her mom about what id done and how sorry i was, but she blocked me on her phone, her daughter's phone, her facebook and her daughter's facebook. SO i lost all contact. I haven't said anything to her for over a month now and she isnt showing any obvious signs of moving on. I still see her in the hallways frequently and i talk to her best friend who happens to be siding w/ me on this one, but she hasnt contacted me or tried to talk about it, so i wanted to know if that lane is still open or if i fcked up reallllll good.

 

any adivce or similiar experiances are appreciated thx ^^ (and please, i really loved her with all my heart, and i KNOW she did too, i just dont wanna hope for what might be over..)

Edited December 10, 2012 by Jaredh2elga

[mammasita]

Well, the bottom line is you are leaving for the military soon. (PLEASE Don't let that force you into trying to marry this girl). You are still in high school and have your entire life ahead of you. Think of how many people you will meet.

 

I know you feel like you love her, but she needs time to grow and mature. If she is flipping out about you leaving now, how will she be able to handle military life? You will be deployed a whole lot.

 

I'm not saying that you don't have any chance of getting back together, I'm saying you need to move forward with your life right now, talk to other girls - even if your heart is not in it.

[Jaredh2elga]

Thx, i feel like i've heard just about every possible direction for this to go x.x* but your probably right.. If she's going to be childish about it she'll need time to grow up (also im going into the Coast Guard now, alot less likely to get shot xD)

[NavyAirTraffic]

First, you greatly understated your "tiny" freak out lol. You went full blown psycho, it's ok, everyone here has done that. You're not going to like my suggestion.... move on and fast!! She broke up with you, hasn't made ANY effort or given you ANY signs she wants you back. That's all you need to know.

 

Also you're headed off to the navy, I can tell you that unless you get stationed close to home, you'll be home a maximum of 2 weeks in the next year (with boot camp, a-school, and checking into your first duty station). The navy's going to keep you busy, you'll have very little time to think of her in the next year.

[Chi townD]

Well, first off, putting your hands on someone out of anger is NEVER acceptable. And you can come back and tell me that it was a tinsy little push to redirect her out of your way...okay fine. But, to her, you may as well have body slammed her because THAT'S how she's going to tell it.

 

Look, you're going into the Navy. That's eight straight weeks at Great Lakes. You write letters when they tell you that you have time for it. You make a phonecall when they tell you it's okay to do so and that's probably going to be 3 times for eight weeks. Once you graduate Boot Camp, then you go to A school and that can be anywhere between 3 months to 2 years depending of what rate you're going for. To be honest, relationships are hard to keep while all of that is going on and you are going to see a lot of guys get "dear John" letters at Boot Camp. So, maybe it's for the best right now (even if you don't see it that way) that you aren't in a relationship.

[Jaredh2elga]

I understand... im usually more composed.. i do have a history for violent outburst but never anything severe (blood, broken bones, etc..) and that was a LOOOOOoooooong time ago. and this was the only real "hurt" in our relationship. We've never really done anything to make each other mad. Now, she has been mad, but ive always been there to soothe her <:3