mell21 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 The last time my ex and I talked was Thursday night when he asked me to go see him, but I said no because I had to work late and finish getting things for my dad's retirement party over the weekend. I sent him a text Thursday night around like 745 pm. No answer. I spent almost all of Friday calling and texting and waiting for a reply and getting nothing. Ended the day feeling like a total weak ****ing loser for being so fixated on talking to him. No answer from him Saturday or Sunday. I was starting to feel a little strong and like maybe I can do this. Than in one weak moment, all of those positive feelings I had came crashing down. All he talked about is how I make no effort to go see him - he lives 30 minutes away and my car is a piece of **** - but he also has a car but make ZERO effort to ever come see me, and when I tell him that he just ignores me completely. It's not fair that all the pressure to do anything in our relationship is put on me, but he just does not care. He said if I wanted to see him than I would have, but how I am supposed to know that somebody wants to see me or hang out with me when they ignore me for days. Now I feel weak and stupid because all I want to do is go run and see him, when the more logical part of me is saying what the ****, hell no don't do that. I just feel so weak and vulnerable. I wish I never texted him, but now that I did I feel myself melting to mush and getting ready to break and go see him, but I don't want to. Help!
sharsh Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 The thing that pushed me to go in to NC and STAY in NC was that when he texted me, he expected a reply. When I texted him, it was up in the air, he'd respond if he FELT like it. He had power over me and he KNEW it. It disgusted me, that I let him have power over me. I was totally and completely powerless. Jumping to get to my phone to reply to him when he texted me first, jumping to go and see him when he'd ask me to. I was a f*cking dog, and he was the master, sit. stay. come. lay down. To finally realize someone had that much control over me, that much power, just absolutely disgusted me. Him knowing he had all the power disgusted me further. It took a while, and I would fight the urge to text him back, he did still have the power, but I would come here and post instead of replying, or write back to him in my diary. Once you take the control back, you WILL feel so much better. You just have to stay strong. It's hard at first, but to not reply, to go full NC, when you get that text from him, and you look at it, and you have the ability to not reply... I look at the texts most times now, and laugh. You don't have the power over me anymore. Sometimes it IS hard, like last night I really wanted to text him back. He had come at me with a softer approach than before, made it look like he cared a little more. I made it through the night though without texting him back. I came here, and vented a little. It really does help. We're all here for you. Take your power back, and be stronger. Don't let SOMEONE ELSE control YOU. 2
Cali408 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Change your phone number and stay off Facebook. It's quitting an addiction. Just be strong. There is a reason you're not together. Move forward.
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