Author jamesdoe Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 If you are anything like me, or 89% of the rest of us guys out there, trust this damaged will not be rebuilt. The bridge she built with that guy is built at the expense of burning the bridge with you. You can't walk across a shoddy bridge, because you can't trust it. I haven't read and likely wont read anything anybody else has told you, but I am guessing that counseling, unless she is the one who suggested it, is a bad move this early on in your relationship. Counselling, in my view, is for those with kids and a marriage, a mortgage... Also, like I told you, she lied about her texts being innocent, and for confirmation of that, you have the other guy admitting to it. You can't watch her phone forever, and you've been lied to on a level much larger than "no, I didn't eat the last cookie," and pretending that things can get fixed from here, well, that is on you man. Who suggested the counselling, yourself or her? Has she apologized, or shown remorse for flirtatiously texting the other dude? "She said that he was a friend and that she didn't see anything wrong. She said that she deletes everyone's texts so it wasn't just his. She said that they shared similar experiences and that is all they talked about." At the end of that little spiel, did she ask you if you were a sucker born yesterday? You were right to be angry. She suggested counseling. She asked: "would you with me to counseling so that we can understand each others feelings better? so there is no more confusion or problems with boundaries." She has apologized. I got a little worked up that she deleted a text from him again. She said that all it said was good morning and I got angry and said: "if it was just good morning, why delete it? you knew i'd ask and this was a major reason for the argument...that you were deleting all your texts." She didn't reply to it. In the heat of the moment, I told her that she had lost her right to privacy. She got very indignant. Later, she e-mailed me saying that she has a new e-mail address, new phone number, closed her Facebook and support site. She said that she did it so that no guys from her past could reach her and so that she wouldn't be in a situation like this again. I didn't ask her to do any of that. I only asked that she not delete any texts from her phone. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 And the resentment begins. Link to post Share on other sites
TheZebra Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 If the relationship gets to a point where you have to mention to her that she 'has no right to privacy', then I think the relationship is pretty much done for. If you already can't trust her, what's it gonna be like when you're engaged? Married? With kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts