Toastie44 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Hi LoveShack. I need to vent out some things on my mind. Basically a girl has started at my place of work and I'm very much attracted to her. She's 3.5 years my junior, but we're VERY compatible and I cannot flaw her. I'm terrible when it comes to reading signs so I was hoping someone could maybe help me crack the code. She's a very shy girl, she's told me this lots of times, but around me she's very comfortable and it would seem she does like me, but I tend to read into things too much. She laughs at everything I say, even the unfunny things. She's ALWAYS hiding things from me, whenever I need a stapler she won't hand it to me unless I wrestle it off her, or she'll take something from my work area and hide it from me and follow me around until I find it, which I actually find really cute. There's plenty of physical contact, she's forever pushing me and brushing her hand over my back, then when I look behind me there's a plethora of space she could of walked in rather than right near me lol. All it takes is a simple look at each other and we smile and laugh. I usually just ask a girl out when I feel an attraction on my half (even if there is none from the opposite side), but I've never been attracted towards a work colleague so I wanted to see if these were signs of interest, at least enough for me to ask her to a 1 on 1 outing. Any help would be greatly appreciated! I'm starting to feel as though I've been dwelling on it too long and need to make my move fast! It's been about 3 weeks since she started, I don't want that friendzone treatment. P.S. This job isn't a career, it's a part-time job to keep me ticking until I find myself something else, so I'm not worried about it ruining anything at work.
ooglesnboogles Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I'm not very experienced with this stuff, but unless she's doing this to everybody, I'd say she likes you 1
Author Toastie44 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 I'm not very experienced with this stuff, but unless she's doing this to everybody, I'd say she likes you Thanks. I've not really been able to see what she's like around others because we either work just the two of us, or we don't work at all, but I'm pretty sure she's just like this with me. I have a shift on Friday with her and another colleague, I will see how it goes. Any one else got any opinion on it?
Casablanca Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Thanks. I've not really been able to see what she's like around others because we either work just the two of us, or we don't work at all, but I'm pretty sure she's just like this with me. I have a shift on Friday with her and another colleague, I will see how it goes. Any one else got any opinion on it? I agrree with oogles...most people don't do things like that with everyone...just go for it...nothing to lose other than always wondering "what if" 1
Author Toastie44 Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 Alright I'll try and ask her out Friday face-to-face!
ooglesnboogles Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Alright I'll try and ask her out Friday face-to-face! Best of luck!
Casablanca Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Alright I'll try and ask her out Friday face-to-face! Good luck, let us know how it goes!
Esoteric Elf Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Do you need megaphones and blaring sirens? This girl likes you; that or she is a huge flirt.
Author Toastie44 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) I asked her, but it didn't go how I planned it. I meant to say "Want to do something together next week?", but I ended up saying "There's a film I want to go and watch next week on Wednesday, fancy coming?", so I ended up limiting it to a certain place, on a certain day, which was a mistake. She said she hates the director lol, she's never liked his films, which isn't a lie she's told me this before. At the end of the night she randomly mentioned a birthday she's going to on Monday so I said "Where's my invite?" and she said "Come if you want" What do you guys reckon I should do? I'm not going to be working with her until next Thursday, so will a message saying "We can do something other than the cinema if you don't fancy that film", would that be ok? I don't like messaging girls to ask them out but I don't have much of a choice now, I'd prefer not to wait until next Thursday. Edited December 15, 2012 by Toastie44
Esoteric Elf Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 she said "Come if you want" I've had a girlfriend before nor been on a date, but if this is what she said, I am fairly certain that she is, at least indifferent to you. She may want to test the waters, so to speak, but isn't that into you.
Author Toastie44 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 I've had a girlfriend before nor been on a date, but if this is what she said, I am fairly certain that she is, at least indifferent to you. She may want to test the waters, so to speak, but isn't that into you.I didn't answer her after she said it, kinda got sidetracked. I'm going to the club she's going to with a group of friends anyway, regardless of the invite to her friends birthday, so if I see her there then I guess it's a bonus, if not I'll just wait to see her Thursday and straight up ask her on a date. I've had a 'what-if' before and they suck, don't want another. I'm sure it won't hurt to have no contact until Thursday.
ooglesnboogles Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 The "come if you want" kind of depends on the tone. Did she say it like she was brushing you off or dismissing you? Probably not a great sign, but it doesn't mean she's shut the door. Personally, I would wait until Thursday. I've never had much luck with getting girls to go out via call or message. If you ask her directly and in person you might have better luck, especially if you pick a good point to ask her out. I was reading a very nice blog on another site where the guy always recommends asking girls out at high points - things are going well, you're both laughing or whatever, and you say something like "hey, we should hang out this weekend". Works with girls you want to date, works with friends. The idea is that you ask them at a time in which they're enjoying the moment; they have a split second decision to make and think "how do I feel right now?". Seems to make sense to me, but I haven't found a chance to try it yet. It'll feel kind of odd, but as long as you hop back into the conversation like nothing happened, it should work well. 'What-if's suck, I'm with ya there. I dunno 'bout you, but I almost equally hate the "shoulda played that better". I have a lot of those under my belt too...
Author Toastie44 Posted December 16, 2012 Author Posted December 16, 2012 The "come if you want" kind of depends on the tone. Did she say it like she was brushing you off or dismissing you? Probably not a great sign, but it doesn't mean she's shut the door. Personally, I would wait until Thursday. I've never had much luck with getting girls to go out via call or message. If you ask her directly and in person you might have better luck, especially if you pick a good point to ask her out. I was reading a very nice blog on another site where the guy always recommends asking girls out at high points - things are going well, you're both laughing or whatever, and you say something like "hey, we should hang out this weekend". Works with girls you want to date, works with friends. The idea is that you ask them at a time in which they're enjoying the moment; they have a split second decision to make and think "how do I feel right now?". Seems to make sense to me, but I haven't found a chance to try it yet. It'll feel kind of odd, but as long as you hop back into the conversation like nothing happened, it should work well. 'What-if's suck, I'm with ya there. I dunno 'bout you, but I almost equally hate the "shoulda played that better". I have a lot of those under my belt too...It was said in passing to be honest, and her tone would suggest she wanted me to want me to come but I didn't answer as I got sidetracked. I should have plenty of chances to ask her on Thursday. The shift I had on Friday was interesting, I always caught her looking at me in my peripheral vision, and whenever talking to anyone else she would always turn to me or even continue talking to someone else while looking at ME lol... I've come to the conclusion that she's either a huge flirt (the amount she physically touches me in work is stupid) or is indeed interested, only one way to find out I guess. If she's not interested then I'll feel like she's played me a bit...
akshaypurswani Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Hmm, I just suggest you that you should follow a guydline written by Melany MelanysGuydlines there are so much pretty interesting stories by relationship mishaps and for making better relationship advice. maybe you find your answer there.
spiderowl Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Sounds like she likes you and is teasing you. If I didn't like someone and didn't want him to ask me out, I'd avoid him. I certainly wouldn't laugh at his jokes and tease him. I would avoid physical proximity like the plague. The signs are good so why not try a friendly meet up somewhere she can feel at ease and where you can get to know each other without pressure? Local cafe or bar after work or something. See how it goes.
To be or not to be Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 As a girl here and I am shy too.. She's definitely interested, awkwardly shy and now she's making you chase her just a little. Sounds like she maybe coming about it all in an immature way. Try flirting back with a " so when are you gonna ask me out?" , you'll be surprised how persistence can work to your advantage. Give it a little more time. Good luck!
Author Toastie44 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the opinions guys, I feel a bit stupid asking lol The other day I was in the back room when she came in and said I "had big feet", then she grabbed my leg and put her foot up against it to compare lol... Then an hour later I was in the back room again and she wandered in and just sat on my lap... It was pretty obvious by this time that there must be an attraction there, but as soon as I asked her if she was free next week and if she would like to meet outside of work she kinda changed the subject and struggled to give me an answer, then she just said she's busy with family coming down from her home country (fair enough, Christmas time) but still, surely she'd make time for me if she was interested? ARRGHHH!! This is really starting to do my head in. I've even made her laugh to the point she tells me to stop because her stomach hurts or she's crying (sorry if I'm sounding big headed lol ) I don't know, I'm starting to think maybe she's just teasing me for fun. My problem is I'm VERY stubborn and I refuse to make the effort all the time. We're now texting each other outside of work but it seems to be me asking the majority of the questions, and I feel like I'm being way too clingy. Shall I try asking her again next week or just leave her to it? Edited December 24, 2012 by Toastie44
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