candyland123 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 My husband of 28 years is looking into annulling our 28 year marriage. An annulment means the marriage NEVER occurred. We were never married for the past 28 years. I will have been his whore for 28 years. His children will be bastards in the eyes of the church. I have read the stipulations the church states the children are not bastards if the parents had a civil marriage. The church does not recognize a civil marriage - the children will be bastards in the eyes of the church and I will be his whore. I am not that religious, I am catholic. But it is hypocrisy like this which makes me avoid the church. It is my loving sisters in law who are pushing for this. My x and I have talked about getting back together in the future. We know there is still a lot between us. We both wish we had pursued a separation instead of a divorce. This information that he is considering an annulment becomes a new issue between us. I can't believe he wouldn't just shut his sisters down immediately. Trust me he has confronted family on other issues which bothered him so this is not a problem. It hurts so much that he is considering erasing our entire marriage. It will be as though I never existed. Anyone else deal with these emotions or have their marriage annulled.
CarrieT Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 A good friend of mine tried to have a marriage of four months annulled. It is significantly harder to prove in court the reasons for a annulment versus a standard divorce. Significantly harder! Is your husband at all wealthy? Because after 28 years, he is going to have to pay a sh*tload of lawyers a lot of money to push an annulment through a court system when a divorce is much quicker and cheaper.
Author candyland123 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 It is a church annulment he is looking into, not a civil marriage. I realize this is only in the eyes of the church we won't be married. But it still hurts the thought that he could even consider making our marriage not exist. To deny its existence in any fashion to me is wrong. What we had was real, if he annuls it to me this says my entire marriage was a lie. To annul a marriage with the church is $1500, its all about the money. I believe if he attempts it, it would occur.
carhill Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 My dad got an annulment from his first wife, who took his kids and abandoned him while he was in WW2, from the Catholic church on the basis of constructive abandonment. At the time, he had been married about ten years. It was time consuming but not expensive. He wanted the freedom to marry within his faith again in the future. They got a legal divorce as well and he paid child support until the kids were 18. It sounds like you all have irreconcilable differences. Long marriages which don't present obvious faults like abandonment/asexuality/infidelity, etc, might have a tough go through the annulment process, unless church rules have changed substantially. In the end, no one can keep you apart, so long as both of you are living. You each have free will. Good luck.
Balzac Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Is a divorce restricting his access to church sacraments? If that's his issue, why would you object to his seeking an anullment? Remarriage or high mass at his death? I can see reasons for his choice.
thatone Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Better yet, if that's his issue put a price on his request. Tell him if he and the pope need that annulment so much it's gonna cost him XYZ... 1
notbroken Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I was married for 26 years. I expect my exwife will ask for an annulment when she wishes to remarry in a Catholic church (her sister did the same after a 15 year marriage). I figure anyone within 100 yards should be able to hear me laugh out loud. How can anyone realistically just pretend a marriage that long didn't happen? Not sure if she can find a way around it, but I would never sign anything stating we weren't married or it should be annulled. We are divorced, and both our marriage and divorce did happen. Anything else is a lie.
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