BoopsMommy Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Hello Everyone, I'm new to these boards but I am just looking for some advice and some help coping with this situation. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have a 3 year old daughter. My husband for the past month has been saying " just wait til the holidays are over bc I'm going to leave you. I just want to wait so the holidays aren't ruined for my daughter." The first time he said it I was so shocked I didn't know what to say but then he said it again, and the last time he said it I told him I made an appt for us to go to counseling. He then told me "I'm not going to counseling. I do not love you and haven't loved you for years." Needles to say I'm completely devastated. He's being so cold and mean and just so sad. I'm trying to keep it together for my daughter but it's been hard. Anyone that has any advice to offer since they have been through this I would appreciate. I'm a stay at home mom currently I only work part time he supports my daughter and I and I just so scared of what life is going to be like now for my daughter and I.
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 He's a bully and he's manipulating you. Pack his bags, dump them on the doorstep and tell him to go now. It doesn't matter when he leaves, it will still be upsetting for your daughter but children are resilient, and are better readers of the situation than you'd think. You? You're an adult. These things happen. Cry, scream, vent, rage and weep. But never in front of your little girl. You're stronger than you would ever believe. Don't let him manipulate your emotions and stab your feelings like this. he's being cruel and vindictive. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Is the home in joint names? Mortgage? Rented? Call on friends and relatives. Let them know what's happening, and seek their support. Get someone to come and stay with you, while you get him out. And consult a lawyer. Quickly.
trippi1432 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Hi BoopsMommy - Welcome to LS, so sorry to hear this, I know it's hard to hear those words. Can you give us any more background on what led up to his saying these things?
Author BoopsMommy Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 Hey everyone we have been up happy for awhile and this past year has been espeically hard. He lost his job that he had for five plus years and I then worked my tail off to help him and he found another job which I thought would make him happier, wrong he hates the new job so once again I got to work and helped him to find yet another job. He was finally happy in his job but nothing changes at home. I honestly don't know what's led to this he's expressed unhappiness before and I've done everything in my power to change and be the wife he wants me to be. We have been arguing constantly but he always takes it to a terrible place and can be downright cruel. I just feel so helpless and stupid for letting things get to this point. He keeps saying this is what's best for our daughter bc we don't love each other anymore but I love him. I suggested counseling even a trial separation he said no he doesn't love me and will never love me again. He's just being so cruel and I can't understand. We've been together for almost ten years and he is just going to walk away from this without even trying?
Author BoopsMommy Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 Also I am going to see a lawyer today. He keeps saying we can do all this with no lawyers but I'm not dumb I am going to protect myself and my child. 2
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