deekay Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 God damn.. never knew i'd ever end up in a state like this where i feel lost and weak. I can't understand how she was able to move on like that, and why she can't feel the same way about me as I do about her, i love her a lot, but knowing that she doesn't love me like that is what gets me the most.. i tried to get her back for a month, but today she just told me to let it go, even though I tried to talk to her because i wanted to remain as acquaintances. she's ignoring my texts now, and the last txt i sent her was if she could send me a pic of her workplace. it's been a day.. i feel pathetic and low. friends told me to move from the past, but it's hard for me and i feel like no matter what people tell me, there's always a way to get her back, and that is NC, but i feel that someone will take her.. so i'm just trying to keep in touch with her and prove to her i've changed.. that i'm not a douchebag/******* anymore.. it sucks that shes thousands of miles away, and we won't be able to see each other in 6 months.. everything we did and everywhere we went, idk how she's able to move on like that, and how i'm not. as the dumpee, i feel very pathetic and feel that i should be able to move on. i don't know which path to take.. to go NC with her or just keep in touch after giving her a couple months of space.. anyone else feel like this? can you be honest and tell me if i'm thinking straight or not? any comment, advice, etc. are appreciated. also, should i txt her anything before going NC? or just make the last txt about asking for a photo?
Darren From England Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Hi Deekay I can fully sympathies with you wholeheartedly my friend I am going through exactly the same, even typing this message to you the pain in my stomach is unbearable, I have started smoking again and am just moping from room to room shaking my head asking myself how the f**k have I ended up in the position I find myself in, I never did ANYTHING wrong at all, I treated her like a Princess, was always there for her emotionally, when she was having her anxiety attacks I held her hand, when she was in Hospital I helped her with her Urine sample, I was the perfect partner, I could not have been any better, she had a few problems ( drinking ) and had to move 5 hours away from me she went the day before my birthday she sent me a beautiful Birthday Card ( To My Special Partner with a Red Rose on it saying I LOVE YOU ) three days later I am dumped, by Text, and also moaned at in the Text for ringing her Auntie whilst she was sleeping ( WTF ) she then proceeded to block me and all my Family on Facebook, changer her Mobile number and cut me out of her life by all accounts, I managed to find the address where she was living, sent her a beautiful heartfelt letter ( Which was recorded ) it was signed for in another name, and she never replied to it, i ALSO HAVE THE ADDED EMOTIONAL ARTILLERY of she owes me £200.00 for a mobile phone she ordered out of my Catalogue, so I am left with all the above PLUS the possibility she intends to steal from me, the man who did EVERYTHING for her, was always there for her, Love her more than I could explain, it does not feel good I can tell you, I found that writing a letter does help A LOT even if you don't intend to send it, all I keep telling myself is that I hope she really did love me and that one day she will realize what she lost, I feel she does Love me, and if this is the case I think there is always a chance, if you also feel she loves you then there is always a chance, I know it is hard mate, I feel your pain, I am feeling the same as you, my head won't switch off, I am a cauldron of emotion,s I am so dreading Christmas I want it over, I long for those grey rainy days ( Lucky I live in England ) I want the weather to match my mood, I honestly thought she was the one, and I am so shocked at her uncharacteristic behavior, but we must be strong together, when you feel really low remember that I am feeling the same, I think you still have a chance give her some space, let her miss you, and if she loves you she will my situation unfortunately looks hopeless if you fancy a chat get back to me, I have Skype and the like, maybe we can sort each others head's out keep your chin up mate, best wishes Darren
BUBS Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 I can totally relate. My ex is 2000 miles away, and the only chance I have of even seeing him again is months down the line to get my dog (which would require me actually getting a place here, and completely banish all false hope of reconciliation). You are going through what most of us are going through... we want to do whatever we possibly can to ensure the best possible outcome (them coming back) while still maintaining our dignity in case they don't come back. I feel your pain, my ex moved on effortlessly, while I feel crippled entirely. All I can tell you with everything in me is that you are absolutely not thinking straight, none of us are. I see you said you fear if you go no contact someone else will "take her" and if you stay low contact you are hurting yourself because of how bad it crushes you that she is unresponsive. Everyone will tell you the same thing, you have to do whats best for you, because if you do this eventually you will gain back your dignity that you lost in being rejected by a loved one, and when you gain it back you will be capable of actually either moving on, or re initiating contact without being absolutely ruined by her indifference towards you. I wouldn't text her anything before going no contact, if you see in these forums, most of them are about people who break contact and then feel down on themselves for it. If you tell her you are going no contact and then fold or cave, you will feel and appear even more weak for having said it and then gone against it. Leave it where you were... if she contacts you back with the response, dont say anything AT ALL. You probably will cave if she persists, but there is no reason to tell her you are going no contact at least until she actually inquires about why you are ignoring her (if she inquires) and even then I would advice continuing. Like I said we all mess up, "those who can do, teach"... I'm guilty of folding, and almost every one else on here is... but is it whats best? No. Is it going to help her to stop from moving on? No. Truth be told there is much you can do either way when it comes to how your ex perceives you. Everyone is different. I've had significant others that actually were more responsive to crazy neediness (most likely an ego thing) and I've had signficant others that were responsive to low contact (over a long period of time)... and most importantly I've had significant others who have come through the cracks and crevices months and years after a break up with no contact.... each person is different.... if she wants to date others, it is not going to change that whether you are in contact with her or not, believe me it really isn't. If anything by remaining in contact or showing you are available to her, you are helping ween her off of the comfort of having you in her life slowly but surely. I wish I could tell you how to move on, I'm struggling with that aspect too. It hurts a lot when someone seems happy, moved on and indifferent, while you are a wreck falling to ****ing pieces and feeling completely destroyed. Your ego is probably shot and bruised to hell, just like mine and a lot of others here. You've been rejected, abandoned and so forth, and then to add insult to injury you are making yourself feel worse by feeling like a jerk for not being over it when she is... we all feel your pain. You have to do things to make yourself feel better, its going to take time, and the physical will pay off before the mental in most aspects of this... but if you surround yourself with loving people who haven't rejected you, who think this girl is bat **** crazy for leaving you, or better yet who know nothing about that experience you had, you can start fresh.... Trust this, from my experience, though it doesn't help much... as long as you both are alive and breathing, there is always a chance, you both could move on, get married and have kids elsewhere and still end up together, but you also could end up with something much better. You have no control over the outcome of whether or not you two get back together, you only have control over whether or not you are going to keep torturing yourself and allowing her to be responsible for your sanity. Small steps kiddo
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