Canadian guy Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Hey, so I psted here yesterday. My wife an I are splitting after 5yrs together 3 yrs of marriage. During our marriage we had some troubling times which made me feel like i wanted to leave. It felt like we were not compatible and that we were just drifting along in life not making each other happy. There was also a lot of emotional abuse on her part which just made things even worse. That said the night she left I was upset I cried and I tried to talk her out of it but the moment she left I felt relief almost like a weight had been lifted. For the next few days I felt really good and positive and like the whole thing was the right decision. A few days after that though It started to set in and the reality of what had happened hit me. I experienced the usual emotions of being up and down but always in the back of my mind it felt right that she was gone. This then delevloped further to actually wanting her back again after about two weeks of being apart. I finally got my chance to meet with her fae to face and try to save thing but I just couldnt do it. Something inside me was holding me back and preventing me from begging or pleading her to come back. As I sit here today almost three months on I think back to what has changed and wonder whether I am putting my wife on a pedestal now and imagining things which were never there. The reason I say this is because I so desperately miss her. I cant stop crying and thinking about what I have lost. My wife is now pushing for divorce and it just feels like my world is falling apart whilst hers is absolutely perfect without me - I just dont know how all this got so out of hand. I could really do with some emotional support right now.
Author Canadian guy Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 I could really do with some support here guys. Is there anyone to talk to?
Cedarman Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 You're going through something which is natural - just let it run its course and rely upon friends and family and forums like this for support. SHE left and begging her will accomplish nothing - in fact, will have the opposite effect. It's natural and human nature to suddenly want something that has been taken away. Recognize this - recognize that you're human and missing a companion is human nature, even if that companion was not ideal. It's also quite possible that you are remembering only the good times and forgetting the times where you felt like you wanted to leave. What's changed? Anyway - hang in there, try to be strong. Go NC. Any kids? If not, that makes things a lot simpler to go NC. Good luck. 3
Holyoak Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I do not know your particular situation, but when I am feeling misty, I remember what a lying, angry unremorseful, blameshifting, F-ing selfish cheater my STBXWW is, who destroyed my family, hurt my daughter to the core and belittled her pain, killed my future plans, hurt another family by her actions... I like to think what you/us go through it is emotional inertia; the actions happen, but the freight train that is your loving heart keeps going on and on after the brakes are applied. No matter, I know the pain you are feeling, and glad you did not beg or look needy... No shame in crying tears of pain at all, and I hope you are trying to stay active, let your mind try to focus on other things, doing exercise, talk to caring friends/family, post here... It's easy to think everything is "perfect" for her, but I bet it isn't. I too hated the fact that I got shat on with a blindsided D-Day, where my STBXWW already was miles ahead by her detachment and a new "lurrrve" in her life, threatening me with hollow D rage... Hmm, I filed and she was shocked, and ever since she has done nothing but seemingly spiral downward; I'm seeing things clearly now and pulling myself up and becoming a better, stronger person. You well know you can not change her, so do what is best for you, and seek the help you need to let the person who is already gone, stay gone. Peace to you, and again I truly feel the pain you are experiencing.
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