road Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 CH, I just read your thread. Back in December you seemed intent on not upsetting the apple cart with your wife, not pushing for no contact, not insisting she leave the job, not pushing for transparency, just taking the wait-and-see approach and basically just going by your observations of how she was acting to determine if your reconcilation was on track. Basically an "I-can-put-up-with-it-as-long-as-it-feels-like-the-reconciliation-is-on track" attitude. When you updated in February, you seemed to have a completely different attitude, you outed her at work, got the other man fired, and basically had a consequences-be-damned, I-just-can't-take-it-any-longer attitude. What happened between December and February to turn you around and take this kind of action? Was there any one specific thing, was it a general feeling, was is something she said or did? Also, from the last email from him to her, it seemed that the "connection" was still there, at least on his end to your wife, that he was putting your wife's welfare above his own (and above that of his wife and his family, since I'm sure the loss of income will hurt them). Your wife's anger about you doing this seems to me that she still was clinging to a secret connection with him, even if they NEVER spoke again, they still felt something for each other. What happened? This BH got tired of sitting home on his sofa with his johnson in his hand while his WW went out and banged the OM. So he maned up and did everything to get the OM out of their lives forever. The only thing this BH did wrong was wait too long to man up. As to his WW being mad that he got the OM fired only shows the importance of NC between affair partners for life.
Steadfast Posted February 17, 2013 Posted February 17, 2013 ...I'm not ready to drop her ass as of yet. I'm told by trusted friends and family to give her a chance. I must do this for me! A person cannot make or control another person. If she wants to go then so be it. Everything you wrote is true, including the part where you admit the OM isn't the problem. She is. Good to see the OM pay (just a little) for his part. If you're not ready, then you're not. Still, you've put yourself in a place to make that decision before she makes it for you. IMO? Your marriage only stands a chance of she's begging you to reconcile. Not you waiting to see if she's sincere. It's a classic case of power and control for her. Know this.
Recommended Posts