curious_user Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Hi everyone, I'm having a tough time trying to decide when I should put an end to my relationship of 10 months. I am having a lot of reservations because of the timing, but at the same time I know prolonging the inevitable is wrong too. So if you will all bear with me, let me give some background information to help clarify the situation: I've been thinking on an off now for a couple of months about breaking up with my boyfriend. There were several occasions in which we have sat down and talked about what needed to change for the relationship to work, and at one point we "broke up" for a period of 24 hours. Now because I am young and stupid, we agreed to meet the next day for a "last time" get together (I know many of you are face palming right now). At the end of the day we agreed that we would try to make out relationship work til the end of the year, get together, and decide if we wanted to start the new year single, or a couple. Well that should seem like a no brainer, just wait til AFTER Christmas. But in the meantime, he has already stated he plans to handcraft a gift for me. I have suggested that we just not exchange, but he is very adamant on this. I just feel that it's shady to accept a gift and then turn around and break up, as well as to give a gift with the intention of breaking up. The timing is also bad because he has finals coming up, and I think it's rude and selfish lay a bomb in his lap when he should otherwise be studying and focusing on school. My reasons for breaking up aren't dishonest: I love him, I just don't think he's the one for me. I mean I'm young (22), so it's not like it's serious to the point of where I'm thinking of settling down, but he's 27. I'd rather not just have a "fun" relationship when I know he is thinking for long-term future. Which leads to my next point, he makes a lot of future comments, (which before didnt bother me because I was infatuated, but now they make me uncomfortable with the way I feel) such as "If we lived together...Would you wear a promise ring.. If we had kids..etc" He's a pathological liar. The lies aren't serious, and they don't actually hurt the relationship, but they are so unnecessary and has caused me to lose a lot of faith in him and doubt a lot that he says. For example, he'll lie about something that happened during the day just to make his life seem more interesting. I know he's had a hard life and I'm sure his lying stems from and has thus become a habit that I don't think he realizes that he's telling lies. This makes me think back to when we were just dating, and if we built a relationship that was based on lies. I know this is getting really long, so I probably lost a good chunk of you. I'll just get this thread started to get some ideas bumping, and I'll include more information if needed. Also sidenote: anyone else experiencing that situation when your friends and family feel that you could "do better" than your current significant other? but your pride and ego stand in the way and make you say "well I don't want to break up because of what you said, but because I want to do it on my own terms" but at the same time, what your friends/family say is influencing the way you feel much to your displeasure?
umirano Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 You know you're going to break up with him after the holidays? Then don't wait around, do it now. It's just a waste of time for everyone. Both of you gain a couple of weeks to move on / heal. Good luck!
Author curious_user Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 Thank you for your input! It's highly appreciated.
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