Give me the strength to handle today, this week, and the rest of December...

[Chillinight]

I recently decided to become distant toward my bf, to let things drift apart and act as if nothing has ever happened.

 

Its killing me inside because for 1: I have really strong feelings for him, 2: its depressing watching him not bother about the problems he has created between us, as if I am not worth fighting for, and 3: he works in the same company as me (not the same department but our offices are relatively close enough) and its depressing avoiding him or him avoiding me.

 

I'm trying to find the strength to get to work but all I want to do is go into a deep sleep. Yes, I'm depressed, heart broken but finding it very difficult to find the strength to be productive at work.

[Sav]

my advice to you is either

 

1) Sit down at the table and lay out your cards. Tell him what's wrong and say you can't take it anymore if he doesn't try to work it out. (Yes men are dense)

 

2) Break it off right now. No use prolonging the hurt.

 

Do not just drift off. It's one of the worst ways to break up with someone.

[nenepii]

why are you trying to distance yourself from him? is it because he has been distancing himself from you?

 

i think Sav is right: trying to let things drift off into the nothingness does not seem like a good idea. in some situations "pretending nothing happened" can work, if something is insignificant enough where you can just shrug it off and move on. however, your heart and mind seem to be clearly entrenched with feeling for him, so choosing to ignore the problem momentarily will not help you in the long-run.

 

if you think there is a possibility this can be salvaged, i think it would be best if you were both open and honest about your feelings for one another and where you both currently stand. perhaps it can be worked out. however, you will not know unless you try.

 

if, on the flip side, you have made a concrete decision, then it is best to end it clearly.

 

to be honest, it seems like you are choosing to let things fade in hope that he will realize his loss and will fight to win you back. to me, that seems like a dangerous game where you are gambling your self-worth. if you wait for him to come back around, chances are that your mind will be preoccupied with little else besides him and that, with each day that he doesn't come around, your self-esteem runs the risk of be damaged.

 

he is already hurting you, so why are your hurting yourself further?

 

talk to him. let him talk to you. decide on what is best for you both, but, above all, be kind to yourself. and have a good day tomorrow at work.