six18 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 If your significant other gave you money to buy or said tell me what you want and I will buy it for you. Does this seem a impersonal and takes away the surprise? Or Is any less insincere? Would you rather pick out your own gift or be surprise?
amaysngrace Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I don't really care. I love getting presents!! 1
RachR Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I'd rather it be a surprise. I love getting presents too. But I think some people find it stressful to pick presents for others or actually, in their POV, find it more sincere to let the other person pick out what they really want. It's not wrong, just a different way. I'd tell them, just surprise me. edit: Also, what's the present? Is it a car? (I can dream.) Then let me pick it out please.
newmoon Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 i just read a study a few days ago that concluded that a majority of people are happier when they get exactly what they ask for. surprise presents can lead to regifting, disappointment, etc. i prefer to ask for what i want and get it. i generally make a list of my top 5 or 6 items and let my family/bf pick from there. i'm happier when i get what i want and as long as they pick from my list it's still a surprise because i don't know what item they picked
GLDheart Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 UGH!! to just handing over the money and telling them to go get what they want. BORING. The magic in gift giving has always been in finding something that really suits them. COST is irrelevant. It could be a humorous T-shirt that EXACTLY nails your buddy's personality. A Bracelet that you know is perfect for your girl friend's style... a craft you made as a decoration for your friends home that fits thier theme... The THOUGHT behind it is what will move them. About a month ago, my daughter and I were out clowning around together and saw this cool little new antique shop the had just popped up in town. We went in and played with all of the old items checking things out. As we were Horsing around (in a respectful non destructful way) we happened upon this cool birdhouse and both thought of My Aunt. It might have cost us a whopping $5... in fact, I spent more on the Gift bag and tissue paper to wrap it up in. But because of the way she loves a good summer day hanging out watching the birds, seeing the first hummingbird of the season, watching the different visiting birds, and remembering the bond she had with her mother in law (my grandmother), it was the perfect gift! Yesterday she had an early x-mas party. With my daughter beside me, I told her the story of us playing around in the antique shop about a month back, seeing "this gift", and of us immediatly thinking of her. We handed her the bag, she looked in, and she instantly knew were giving a gift out of love for her and not out of "wow look how much we spent". Man, we couldn't have gotten a bigger thank you.
rocketman122 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 (edited) woman want to be surprised but its almost never what they want. so then you return it and insulting to us that the gift is not good enough for you. you put in the effort to find something and get shot down. since years back when I had that situation, I now never decide what to buy and ask what they want and get it, otherwise its a gift card at the store they want. I myself prefer a gift card or I tell the person to hold on to the money till something comes up that I want. my mother used to give me money to buy my present and I had no problem with that. its very stressing to find a woman a present. I got a ralph lauren button down striped shirt from my GF for my Bday. its not what I like exactly but I didnt return it because I know it would insult and offend her. Its a nice shirt but im suspicious on whether its genuine because the fabric is pretty crappy and wont iron well because no matter how much starch I use the fabric doesnt stay straight. and im an iron freak. I didnt buy her a present but bought many other things all around that cost way more than what she spent on the shirt. I did buy her 24 roses and treated her to dinner as well. Edited December 10, 2012 by rocketman122
movingon12 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 If your significant other gave you money to buy or said tell me what you want and I will buy it for you. Does this seem a impersonal and takes away the surprise? Or Is any less insincere? Would you rather pick out your own gift or be surprise? My ex used to do that, he'd ask me to give him a list of things I'd like and then he'd just order them from the internet (pre-wrapped). (His family would literally exchange cash with each other at Christmas - I mean really! What's the point?!) It was nice to get what I wanted, but honestly it always made me a bit sad: I would rather he had actually made a bit of an effort - even if he ended up giving me something I wouldn't have chosen. My parents send me money to buy a present because they don't live with me and don't know what I have or need. But I would expect my partner to know me well enough to be able to buy me something I'd like - or at least something that I can see why he would think that I'd like it. My husband knows what particular brands/shops I like, so he knows if he buys something from there, I'll be happy and that takes the pressure off. (And even if it's not completely perfect for me, I know the thought was there, and that's the most important thing). I would never return a gift. Ever. That's just rude.
todreaminblue Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 If your significant other gave you money to buy or said tell me what you want and I will buy it for you. Does this seem a impersonal and takes away the surprise? Or Is any less insincere? Would you rather pick out your own gift or be surprise? yes it does take away the surprise i do understand why a guy would just give money but......when an ex used to say to me buy what you want or wait for me to say to him while shopping "hey isnt that cool"....he would say ill buy it for you i would always say nah...dont need it...i have elcectic taste and it is hard to buy for me......so he gave up givng me money i would spend it on others he actually refused to give me present money after a while .........he would come home with weird and wonderful instead......i always appreciated the gifts......he bought me an african ox tail fly swatter once....it was interesting....it tickled..i love things from different countries africa was a fave.....he always knew if it was what no one else wanted for a present i would love it...an aunt i had used to bring me dolls from around the world when she travelled they were all in cultural dress.......i think a little effort in gift giving is sublime...even if it is out of a 20 cent bubblegum machine....its the thought behind the gift.............deb
El Brujo Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I don't want anyone giving me gifts. I've had enough unpleasant surprises in my life. I realize I'm one in a million, but I'm one of the very few people on God's green Earth who just doesn't like surprises... because so many of them have been bad.
Tara247 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 If your significant other gave you money to buy or said tell me what you want and I will buy it for you. Does this seem a impersonal and takes away the surprise? Or Is any less insincere? Would you rather pick out your own gift or be surprise? It depends upon whether he shops at Tiffany's or not.
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