wintermyst Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I started hanging out with this guy that I used to work with, but never knew him when he worked with me. Our friend set us up. We clicked immediately and he would just come over and hang out. We would cuddle on the couch but nothing more. I didn't get to see him too much since he had to travel a lot for his job, but I started falling for him. About a month ago he told me he was afraid to get close to anybody as he was looking for jobs outside of the city. I understood and asked if we could still hang out. Since then we haven't hung out and barely texted. This was only for a few months but I felt we had a lot in common and a connection. I was doing good with this and feeling positive that someone else was out there for me, but I am just feeling hopeless. I have been on the dating sites for quite sometime, even before this, and I can't seem to find anyone. When I do find someone I am interested in, they never return an email or anything. Maybe I am trying too hard? I have a hard time in believing "love will come when you least expect it" Don't you have to try to find it? And what does that really mean anyways? I am always looking when I go out in public. I just can't cope with this loneliness. (sorry if this post seems like a bunch of rambling.)
Pinky777 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 It could be that guys sense that you're eager to get right into a relationship and are lonely, and that's driving them away? I don't know, but what they mean when they say that love will find you when you least expect it is that if you're comfortable with yourself on your own and don't need another peson, that kind of confidence is alluring. I know it's a vicious cycle where if you are single, you need to be OK with that before being in a relationship, even if you really want to be in a relationship. And there's nothing wrong with that, everyone wants to be loved and have someone. But maybe people are sensing that you're looking to them to make you happy, and that is a lot to put on someone. Just a guess. It could be that there's nothing wrong, and you just haven't met a cool enough guy yet. There are a lot of jerk out ther. Don't settle!
coffeebean201 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 It is really hard to find the right connection with someone. Guys are really into looks - they are really visual.
Esoteric Elf Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I am currently in a position that will require me to advance in a few months, but move as well, so I can see where any attachment may be unwanted since distance will inevitably not only limit but hurt any physical side a relationship. He may fear getting too close to you only to move away and have trouble with that staying close, as it may rend the relationship, especially if he is more into the physical aspect. Also, from personal experience, online dating is futile. I thought since I was exceedingly shy in real life that online interactions would provide for me an outlet to find love, emotional meaning, and many other beautiful DSR aspects that humans crave. I was mistaken.
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