KraftDinner Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 This isn't anything I'm personally going through but there are a lot of threads here about this and it really makes me wonder. If I really like someone, no way do I need 'space' away from them. I'm not talking about spending a day away from each other doing your own thing...I'm talking about what I read about here a lot when someone doesn't even want much contact with someone else because they 'need space' and are 'so busy.' Like don't text me for a while, I need my space. I still care about you but just need to be by myself for a bit. Opinions?
Mrlonelyone Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I wrote one such thread a while back. After I did, I did some reading. The gist of it is this. Asking for space can mean one of two things depending on the state of the relationship and how space is asked for. If it is early in a relationship then space is a very bad thing. It means you annoy them and need to back off or else. If the relationship is at least a couple months old then space means space within the relationship. This is something which happens within the context of friendships, relationships, and marriages. In this context it means you need to tread lightly in one particular area of your GF/BF's life or stay out totally. If the relationship is more than dating but less than marriage.. asking for a "break" in which you can see other people means it's over. They probably already have someone they would at least like to be with instead of you. TL;DR Asking for space can mean allot of things and it depends on context. Most people want to have area's of their life which are for them and their relationships are separate from those. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Anything other than an emphatic yes or an enthusiastic desire to be with you is a no when it comes to women. Needing space/a break = the relationship is already over. Early on in a relationship/dating this is very true. However if your at a point of spending lots of time together ... asking for space might be the way to keep sane.
todreaminblue Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 This isn't anything I'm personally going through but there are a lot of threads here about this and it really makes me wonder. If I really like someone, no way do I need 'space' away from them. I'm not talking about spending a day away from each other doing your own thing...I'm talking about what I read about here a lot when someone doesn't even want much contact with someone else because they 'need space' and are 'so busy.' Like don't text me for a while, I need my space. I still care about you but just need to be by myself for a bit. Opinions? I dont think i have ever used this in a relationship especially not the busy bit....if you care about someone and are attracted to them and they get you......you want them around you i feel.and being busy....busy doing what too busy to have a relationship, why be in one?.......i have asked for space from family becuase they strangle and suffocate me sometimes unintentionally.......with concern.......with caring.......i know though its my own fault they worry about me....they have figured out if i say i need space its not because im busy or im trying to get rid of them but im anxious and just need five minutes to breathe unassisted...i do take space to think....not day so fit...i would go insane...if i were to say in relationship i need space (and that space beings days or weeks) i wouldnt say that i need space......i would say this isnt working out.....deb
Balzac Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Agreed, invoking "taking a break" means it's over. The one proposing the break will never acknowledge it's over. It's on the mature, emotionally stable one to set the boundary. 1
grkBoy Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Anything other than an emphatic yes or an enthusiastic desire to be with you is a no when it comes to women. Needing space/a break = the relationship is already over. Right on the money.
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