Imported Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 is a jerk, dumb, *******, player, a failure or some other derogatory term according to the dudes here that are supposedly nice, a good guy, smarter, successful, "a quality" guy. Or maybe those guys just aren't what they like to think they are? I am just really tired of "nice guys" No dude, when you get older and "women are done playing around with all the jerks".... if you're still the way you are, you're still not going to get the girl, unless it's some chick that will completely use you up lol. 8
Lonely Ronin Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I foresee a s*** storm, where did I put the popcorn...... I agree by the way.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 hmm... there's a difference between being a good guy with no MALE attractive sexual energy whatsoever and a good guy who can be exciting, intellectually powerful and attractive (for her, not necessarily a Greek god). Most girls won't like a nice guy who lacks these qualities that attract her, yes. If you want the girl to really fall for you, the best thing is to have both. I personally turned down guys who were nice and had no male energy. It's probably biological, we need a cave man that shows he needs us in a biological level. But we also need a guy who is there for us and we can count on = a good guy. The problem is you guys think you can only be either 1) a good guy; 2) a jerk who doesn't care about her feelings and tries to get laid. Guys who have are both nice and are firm, have a healthy sexual energy and overall nice attitude, get the girl. I've had meaningful relationships with guys like that, they are what girls dream of and so hard to find. So no, it's not that we like jerks. We like nice guys with a healthy male energy.
O'farrell Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 hmm... there's a difference between being a good guy with no MALE attractive sexual energy whatsoever and a good guy who can be exciting, intellectually powerful and attractive (for her, not necessarily a Greek god). Most girls won't like a nice guy who lacks these qualities that attract her, yes. If you want the girl to really fall for you, the best thing is to have both. I personally turned down guys who were nice and had no male energy. It's probably biological, we need a cave man that shows he needs us in a biological level. But we also need a guy who is there for us and we can count on = a good guy. The problem is you guys think you can only be either 1) a good guy; 2) a jerk who doesn't care about her feelings and tries to get laid. Guys who have are both nice and are firm, have a healthy sexual energy and overall nice attitude, get the girl. I've had meaningful relationships with guys like that, they are what girls dream of and so hard to find. So no, it's not that we like jerks. We like nice guys with a healthy male energy. "we need a cave man that shows he needs us in a biological level" Elaborate.
O'farrell Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 ".... if you're still the way you are, you're still not going to get the girl, You need to also elaborate, because it seems as if you are saying that being nice is a chick repellent.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Hey I can understand the frustration. But what I'm trying to say is that being a nice guy is not what turns women off as you implied. I personally get excited mainly about a man's brain. If you can't at least pull that off with a girl, it will be difficult indeed for you to get a date. If you read more, get interested in things and the world... and then approach girls online and have an interesting online conversation over chat, and you can get her interested. No need to be a Greek god, I promise. Women are mainly attracted to personality as opposed to men that are mainly visual creatures. Being hot is great but it's not necessarily what will get you a girl. I don't think what I'm saying is bs. You're just bitter and can't see the big picture. this is such bull i don't even know where to begin. exiciting, intellectually powerful, attractive may as well be greek god. just 99.9% of nice guys lack at least one of those qualities. i'm in my 30s and never been on a date and the one way i'll ever get laid is to pay for it. sure i'm bitter and angry and spitful now but i haven't always been this way. it was very gradual over time.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Alright. For me at least, nice guys who don't show they are attracted to you implicitly ARE a turn off. We end up seeing them as friends only. Hence the friendzone things when there was a possibility for a relationship when you're not repelled by someone's looks. Some guys have this strategy or maybe personality that is mainly friendly... there's no tension whatsoever in the air. This is not very attractive to women. You can be friendly and at the same time show her you're attracted to her without being a jerk. Compliment her eyes, her feminine side, the way she talks and does things without being overtly sexual. I remember when I was 20 or so, this super good looking guy was after me all the time. He was attractive and super nice. But he never implied he was attracted to me or so. So when he asked me to be his gf, I turn him down. Now when I look back I understand that he did not create any sexual tension and I could only see him as a friend. Yes, this would repel a lot of girls. At the same time, we don't enjoy being chased overtly for sex only or being complimented in a sexual way before getting to sex or too early. It's not hard to understand, is it? Caveman thing = We want to be desired. But as we're not cavewomen anymore, we also want the guy to treat us nicely. "we need a cave man that shows he needs us in a biological level" Elaborate.
serial muse Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You need to also elaborate' date=' because it seems as if you are saying that being nice is a chick repellent.[/quote'] Funny, because I thought maybe what he was saying is (bolded emphasis mine): the dudes here that are supposedly nice, a good guy, smarter, successful, "a quality" guy. Or maybe those guys just aren't what they like to think they are?
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Look, it's not ideal to not have experience as we expect a guy to know how to go through relationship issues and it's hard to do with no experience. Where do you live? I would say maybe you should go for foreigners/other cultures who are more easy going and don't expect you to fit their culture necessarily? Where I live most local women do have internal rules that makes them reject men that don't fit their list of expectations. But I can't believe you can't find ONE girl that would like something about you. She's out there dude, and it will make it easier to find her if you don't give up and you try to be less bitter. Bitterness might be the most unattractive thing ever. and females starting at about 30 autmatically screen out males who didn't have at least one significant relationship under their belt. big picture, i'm ****ed no matter what i do. thats the big picture.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Nooo you should not do it while trying to get a date. It is freakish and a women repellent indeed. I was saying you have to do it after going in 1-2 dates. Hmm I see... the issue is you can't even get a date. Why do you think you don't get any date? How are you approaching them? i've tried to show i'm attracted when trying to get a date and she freaks out that i'm some nutcase. so i stopped. answer is still no but at least she doesn't freak.
Sun Devil Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Then try being a jerk. From what you are telling me, you have nothing to lose by treating women like crap. Give it a try and see if there is any improvement
Sun Devil Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Do you know why women are not attracted to you?
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Hm I would not do it live because a cashier in a store is not necessarily looking for a date. Go where women are looking for dates. Meaning, online. I bet you done that but you don't mention what happened. Look if you say you're not good looking the only thing you could have going for you is your personality. You have to develop your personality and try to become more interesting as a person. Read more, do some courses on interesting things (cooking, yoga, personal development) to have interesting things to talk about. Go to meetup.com group meetings where it's easier to connect with people with same interests. By the cashier comment I can tell you are not looking in the right places and you don't have the right approach.
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Alright. For me at least, nice guys who don't show they are attracted to you implicitly ARE a turn off. We end up seeing them as friends only. Hence the friendzone things when there was a possibility for a relationship when you're not repelled by someone's looks. Some guys have this strategy or maybe personality that is mainly friendly... there's no tension whatsoever in the air. This is not very attractive to women. You can be friendly and at the same time show her you're attracted to her without being a jerk. Compliment her eyes, her feminine side, the way she talks and does things without being overtly sexual. I remember when I was 20 or so, this super good looking guy was after me all the time. He was attractive and super nice. But he never implied he was attracted to me or so. So when he asked me to be his gf, I turn him down. Now when I look back I understand that he did not create any sexual tension and I could only see him as a friend. Yes, this would repel a lot of girls. At the same time, we don't enjoy being chased overtly for sex only or being complimented in a sexual way before getting to sex or too early. It's not hard to understand, is it? Caveman thing = We want to be desired. But as we're not cavewomen anymore, we also want the guy to treat us nicely. How is a guy supposed to show that he desires you without being creepy?
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Not true. If this was true, you wouldn't see ugly men married in happy relationships. You have to stop thinking like that, it's dragging you down. Yes attractive interesting professional hot guys will get more girls. Doesn't mean nice guys without these traits won't get any girls. Have a look at yourself without feeling pitty about youself, go to a therapist and see what the real issue is here. It's most likely not the world but your attitude. the sad reality is its a thousand reasons or so i think it is now. death by a thousand cuts. females go for certain types of males. i'm so unlike any of them and even my positive traits get turned into negatives.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Before meeting: tell her you loved her eyes or her smile. It's code for I am uber attracted to you without being creepy. First date: same or similar. Next dates: you can go further and tell her she's your type etc. Then try to touch her hands or so... til you feel she is into you. I mean, aren't those things obvious? haha. How old are you guys? Sorry maybe it's not so obvious. I also don't get men so why would you get girls How is a guy supposed to show that he desires you without being creepy?
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Also, for ME, if a guy tells me or shows me he's into my brains or so, also shows he's attracted to me and turns me on. Intelligence is aphrodisiac for girls who are smart. How is a guy supposed to show that he desires you without being creepy?
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Before meeting: tell her you loved her eyes or her smile. It's code for I am uber attracted to you without being creepy. First date: same or similar. Next dates: you can go further and tell her she's your type etc. Then try to touch her hands or so... til you feel she is into you. I mean, aren't those things obvious? haha. How old are you guys? Sorry maybe it's not so obvious. I also don't get men so why would you get girls Also, for ME, if a guy tells me or shows me he's into my brains or so, also shows he's attracted to me and turns me on. Intelligence is aphrodisiac for girls who are smart. So what do you do if you haven't had a date with her yet? Once I got the date, I'm more comfortable singing the praises. I also did the eye thing a while ago. While dancing with a girl in class I noticed her eyes and told her that they were really pretty. She gave me a big smile, said thanks and told me they were contacts....
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 So as I said - go to meetup.com and join a few groups that interest you. People go there to make connections and meet new people and they are open for romance. Yes, girls love guys i.e. who can cook and hold an interesting conversation. If you don't have the looks going for you, you have to better yourself and create a persona that is interesting for women. What is interesting for women? Guys who are interested in the world, in culture, who can talk about interesting things, have interesting hobbies. I responded to guys I was not that attracted to online because they wrote interesting things in their profile. I usually go for a guy who attracts me yes, but I would give a chance to someone who seems to have an interesting personality. Most girls would. it wasnt an exhaustive list and i've tried online. i've chatted with a lot online but never even met one. hundreds of dallers down the trash and nothing. females are sexually attracted to just certain types of males. do you honstely think that if i were a good cook or good at another hobby that it would make a bit of difference? females want some immediate sexual energy and i must not have any, even though i'm attracted to all sorts of them. they have no attraction to me. now i've bcome bitter but even when i wasnt nothing. be hinest, would you or anyone you know give a 37 year old whos never been on a single date a chance? didn't think so.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 This is in your head dude. It is not THAT important. I've been with MANY guys in my life and I tell you, this is not a factor. How you carry yourself and behave is. She doesn't even have to know in the beginning that you're inexperienced. Also, for ME, if a guy tells me or shows me he's into my brains or so, also shows he's attracted to me and turns me on. Intelligence is aphrodisiac for girls who are smart.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Well to get a date you have to at least write interesting things in your profile... and have an interesting personality. If you don't know how to do it, start browsing guy's profiles and see the ones who stand out and get inspired. I never browsed women profiles as I attract enough people with mine, but if no one was contacting me, I would do some research. I've had a few guys tell me online on a first email that they likes my eyes or smile and that is a nice way to show a girl you're attracted and not assexual I think. Again, being a nice guy and assexual turns women off. So what do you do if you haven't had a date with her yet? Once I got the date, I'm more comfortable singing the praises. I also did the eye thing a while ago. While dancing with a girl in class I noticed her eyes and told her that they were really pretty. She gave me a big smile, said thanks and told me they were contacts....
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Well to get a date you have to at least write interesting things in your profile... and have an interesting personality. If you don't know how to do it, start browsing guy's profiles and see the ones who stand out and get inspired. I never browsed women profiles as I attract enough people with mine, but if no one was contacting me, I would do some research. I've had a few guys tell me online on a first email that they likes my eyes or smile and that is a nice way to show a girl you're attracted and not assexual I think. Again, being a nice guy and assexual turns women off. Oh I'm not talking about online dating. Just in person stuff. I've been told that I should tell girls that I think they're pretty and told that I shouldn't.
edgygirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Well, it's all about saying the right thing in the right moment... and doing it in a nice, non-forward way in the beginning. If you only behave as a friend, you'll get a friend only. You have to activate the girl's sexuality in a non-threatening way if you want something to develop. Oh I'm not talking about online dating. Just in person stuff. I've been told that I should tell girls that I think they're pretty and told that I shouldn't.
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