chay Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Hello there. I think the title is self explanitory enough. I have been with my girl friend since I was 17 and I am now 22. She is the only woman I have been with and I am happy about that. We are very close, we are now considering living together and the very real possibility of marriage. But here's the problem, she says I have not been with enough people. She feels I need to get 'it' out of my system before we settle down for good so I don't get those urges on 10 years time... she will not commit to me further until I have done this, which I think is crazy! So is this normal? And what should I do about the situation as our relationship will not go further from her point of view until i have experienced other women.
soccerrprp Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 This is a guy's ultimate fantasy! And not "normal." Tell her that you have no intention of doing this and that you are satisfied with her. And, getting it out of the way with what? One, two, three, 10? There is not getting it out of the way or out of your system. If you're going to cheat on her, it will happen not b/c you didn't have enough sexual experiences outside of your relationship with her....
ThaWholigan Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 She might be genuine, but also consider that she may want to do a little bit of sampling before she settles down with you too. Not to be a cynic here, but it's possible.
Author chay Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 I don't think its every guys dream, as it doesn't appeal to me. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have said on several occasions I don't want to go along with it. I am 100% confident she doesn't want to do the same thing
xpaperxcutx Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 She's insecure and scared of you abandoning her for another woman in the future. You as a man, unfortunately has a stigma that if you are not with a certain amount of woman, you will always give others (her) the opinion that you will probably wander off. I am my boyfriend's first and, likewise, I also gave him the choice that there are prettier women out there and that he needed to experience. He, in your position, also adamantly and angrily told me no. After various bickering back and forth and his reassurances, I no longer want him to experience. Neither do I reinforce him to do anything that involves another woman because I cannot bear the thought of him being with anybody else but me. The point I am getting at is that, you need to reassure her that you don't need anybody but her. It's disrespectful of her to even suggest that you go out and frolick around. That's the only way to get her out of the mindset that you are like other men. You may also need to consider that maybe she wants to go out and experiment, herself. If you are her first, then you should be aware that she might have GIGS.
Author chay Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Ok i understand but she wants me to do those things for me, not because she is insecure but because she wants me to have a healthy and fulfilled life. she says that she doesnt want to hold me back and personally i think that is very admirable of her. either way im sure she will grow out of these thoughts and if i ever do have the intentions to experience other people, i know i can discuss it with her and see where things go..
soccerrprp Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I don't think its every guys dream, as it doesn't appeal to me. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have said on several occasions I don't want to go along with it. I am 100% confident she doesn't want to do the same thing My quick response to the contrary was to indicate sarcasm...sorry, didn't do so well.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Ok i understand but she wants me to do those things for me, not because she is insecure but because she wants me to have a healthy and fulfilled life. she says that she doesnt want to hold me back and personally i think that is very admirable of her. either way im sure she will grow out of these thoughts and if i ever do have the intentions to experience other people, i know i can discuss it with her and see where things go.. The more she insists on it, the more unbelieveable it sounds. I think she wants to dump you, but thinks that you will find someone else you like better if you actually go out and experiment. That way, she can get off and find someone new guilt free. She is at the age right now where women start exploring. Even worse, she could be manipulative enough to insist you do it, then when you actually do it she says "I cant believe you did that! I didnt think you'd really do it, you dont love me, I'm leaving!" Then a week later, you see her with the guy shes been talking to for months. You wont want to believe this, but keep it in the back of your mind. And what will you do if she keeps insisting on this and tells you she will have to break it off if you dont do this? Its a trap that sounds suspicious to me. If she is actually this devious, you definitely dont want to marry her.
grkBoy Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 If you don't want to experience other women, then tell your GF to find you other women to shag. Guaranteed she'll never say another word if she's the one having to see who her man might be nailing. That or she wants to see other men. You know, up until the sexual revolution, society pushed on most men and women to not "experience" other people before settling down. In fact, it would look bad on a man or woman to have multiple partners, or to be a serial dater. No, I don't want the past brought back. I just want the few who seemingly want to be monogamous or marry young to know it's ok. There isn't some "requirement" to life that you must shag a certain number of people in order to have lived. Look how many of those are now single and complaining how "all the good ones are taken". 2
Recommended Posts