Disgusted by men

[Drseussgrrl]

So you just proved that men will take NSA sex from a fat chick.

 

In other news, Taco Bell gives you the craps.

[Woggle]

You sound like me a year ago. Stop doing this because you will drive yourself crazy trying to prove your cynical view of gender relations right. Take it from somebody who has been there myself. Stop trying to prove how awful the opposite sex is and you will see things in a more positive light.

[Lonely Ronin]

Okay then share what you think about this topic. If you don't agree with what some of the guys are saying, say how you disagree.

 

First I would say that she is automatically skewing her results, and shooting herself in the foot if she did her test and is dating through OKC. I have both male and female friends who have done OLD, and I have heard OKC is is only slightly better than POF, and not even close to being in the same league as match & eharmony.

 

Personally, I would be disgusted if I was contacted by this fake profile. First off it's a dating website not a sex website. If all you want is sex, go use one of those services. Secondly I would automatically judge said woman on several levels. Is she a sex addict, mentally unstable and needs constant attention from men, and probably a ton of other things I can't think of right now. O yea, lets not forget she is a cheater.

 

 

And no, I would not sleep with a woman I'm not attracted to, even if I was propositioned.

[Feelin Frisky]

You mean the overwhelming majority of men you tricked in a place where people go seeking sex. (Not fair to project that further tyvm.)

[Under The Radar]

The only clear statement I see from the OP is that some unspecified number of men (10, 20, 100?) who:

 

1. are in OP's dating pool; and

 

2. are men whom OP got to know while using her real profile, in other words, of the men whom OP didn't reject before getting to know them, the ones she liked enough to email, talk with, date, whatever, of those men she liked, and she selected to continue contact with on the site and off;

 

3. most of them (she says she contacted most with the fake profile) are willing to engage in NSA sex with a cheating OW woman.

 

Does this say more about "most men's" propensity to screw a knothole? or about OP's selection criteria of men who would screw a knothole?

 

IMO, OP needs to reexamine her selection criteria.

 

 

^^^^^THIS^^^^^

 

OP, your conclusions are based on a small sample of the male population. It's not men as a gender, but rather the individuals you are choosing that is the problem.

 

MANY men I know, including myself, would not have touched that fake profile, or the corresponding message, with a 10 foot pole.

[xxoo]

I am not a fan of casual sex either way. The subject of this thread was not about women having casual sex. I am very aware that some women do enjoy casual sex with hot men. Not the topic! How about just actually talking about the actual topic instead of the old point and look over there move.

 

Women having casual sex is appropriate to the topic, because the OP has casual sex. And apparently lies about it to the men she dates

 

And so, to me, this thread makes no sense at all.

[phineas]

I am not a fan of casual sex either way. The subject of this thread was not about women having casual sex. I am very aware that some women do enjoy casual sex with hot men. Not the topic! How about just actually talking about the actual topic instead of the old point and look over there move.

 

Unless only a handful of women are banging the majority of men i'd have to say the numbers of men & women who enjoy casual sex would have to be roughly equal.

[edgygirl]

At first I thought this was brilliant and felt like testing a few a-holes I went on dates with.

 

But then I thought - we are mostly humans and most of us basically need sex although we might be looking for a real relationship.

 

I don't really get the part where the fake profile had to be fat? So if the guy goes for a girl who is fat it's more disgusting and says bad things about him? I LIKE guys who don't care about a woman being hot although I have a perfect BMI these days.

 

I also found it interesting someone's point here that opposed to what we think, it's really hard for guys to get casual sex if they need it if they can't find a long term relationship for a while. So, if someone offers it to them just like that, why wouldn't they go? It's hypocritical to think that if a guy tells you at first they don't do casual sex, and then change their mind, that they are bad guys. Because we all need sex even if we say we won't do it to cause a good impression on potential long term partners. I guess this all says more about the human condition than about men in general.

 

Still I would love to see how a couple of guys would react to a proposition like that. I do have an additional fake profile (empty, so not really fake) online, with which I check a few guys. It has answers to my sexual preferences and I don't even have to contact a few guys that I talk with y real profile - they contact me even though there's no picture there! It only goes to show they are also looking solely for sex. The thing is, this all makes me think that I should look better in the future to differentiate those who ONLY want sex and those who would want casual but are looking for a relationship as well.

[edgygirl]

Question: is it really hard for most guys to get casual sex online? How do you guys go about it usually? Pretend to want a relationship first, or just look for girls who would be into that and then you're upfront that you're not looking for a relationship? Does the second approach works often or 1% of times?

[Mint Sauce]

lots of OP bashing here, but shall we have a look at what ES really wants to say?

 

She thought she selected quality guys. Honest, but interesting and attractive guys. It turns out they all lied to her. The debate should not be about men wanting casual sex. The issue is that all these guys, who passed her selection criteria, where liars.

 

This is much worse than some guys being after NSA sex.

 

I understand her frustration.

 

But it has been said by bright people a few posts earlier: ES, there must be something wrong with your selection criteria. You're picking out the trash. I'm sure there are honest guys doing OLD.

[soccerrprp]

Question: is it really hard for most guys to get casual sex online? How do you guys go about it usually? Pretend to want a relationship first, or just look for girls who would be into that and then you're upfront that you're not looking for a relationship? Does the second approach works often or 1% of times?

 

having ready many of the ladies' profiles and speaking to friends, guys pretend to want a relationship and once in the lady's pants, well, see you later! the up front approach rarely works, i would imagine....

[soccerrprp]

Well I hope you find what you are looking for Soccerrprp.

 

me too, DY, me too... i'm in a relationship right now. okay so far...let's hope this is the end of this madness we call dating!

[iris219]

Unless only a handful of women are banging the majority of men i'd have to say the numbers of men & women who enjoy casual sex would have to be roughly equal.

 

I disagree. Certainly, some women are OK with it, but that's the minority.

 

Women may be having sex that turns out to be casual, but most wanted and hoped for more. I'm not saying these women aren't naive, just that they don't enjoy casual sex and wouldn't have had it if they knew that was all there was to it.

[soccerrprp]

I disagree. Certainly, some women are OK with it, but that's the minority.

 

Women may be having sex that turns out to be casual, but most wanted and hoped for more. I'm not saying these women aren't naive, just that they don't enjoy casual sex and wouldn't have had it if they knew that was all there was to it.

 

only the naive would think that women ENJOY casual sex AS MUCH as men...

[nessaaa]

stop using other peoples pictures! Wtf! Not cool

[Kamille]

Wait what? Hold the presses!

 

You found guys who are into casual sex?

 

Are they cute?

 

Could you give 'em my number?

 

[ThaWholigan]

only the naive would think that women ENJOY casual sex AS MUCH as men...

Women enjoy great sex, whether it's casual or not. The emphasis on "great".

[somedude81]

lots of OP bashing here, but shall we have a look at what ES really wants to say?

 

She thought she selected quality guys. Honest, but interesting and attractive guys. It turns out they all lied to her. The debate should not be about men wanting casual sex. The issue is that all these guys, who passed her selection criteria, where liars.

 

This is much worse than some guys being after NSA sex.

 

I understand her frustration.

 

But it has been said by bright people a few posts earlier: ES, there must be something wrong with your selection criteria. You're picking out the trash. I'm sure there are honest guys doing OLD.

The only lie they told her was that they didn't like casual sex.

 

That's one of those little white lies that have to be told because some women would throw a hissy fit over it. Which is exactly what ES is doing.

 

"Have you ever had a one night stand?"

No.

 

"Did you ever sleep with your friend?"

No.

 

"Do you think she's pretty?"

No.

 

"Do I look fat in this?"

No.

 

Only an idiot would tell the truth.

[soccerrprp]

Women enjoy great sex, whether it's casual or not. The emphasis on "great".

 

understand:p, but was not referring to the quality of the sexual experience, rather the engagement of sex in a casual manner....

[iris219]

Women enjoy great sex, whether it's casual or not. The emphasis on "great".

 

No. I would very much regret having sex with someone who didn't want a relationship with me.

 

If I knew he didn't want a relationship before the sex, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

 

All women are OK with casual sex provided two conditions are met.

 

- Other people, primarily her friends and family are highly unlikely to find out ( nice little trip to Southern Europe ).

 

- He's sufficiently attractive.

 

I could care less who knew I was having sex. Everyone I know thinks I SHOULD be having casual sex just to get laid. I don't have casual sex because I find it distasteful and disgusting. For me it holds no appeal. I don't care what others do; I don't judge, but it's not for me personally.

[Imported]

only the naive would think that women DON'T ENJOY casual sex AS MUCH as men...IF NOT MORE

 

Fixed it for you, in bold

[Drseussgrrl]

... and here we go again.

[Mint Sauce]

The only lie they told her was that they didn't like casual sex.

That's one of those little white lies that have to be told because some women would throw a hissy fit over it. Which is exactly what ES is doing.

 

We live in a different world. If what you say is representative for what guys on OLD think, then at least ES's generalization beyond her test sample is correct.

 

For me the question about casual sex is up there with opinion on abortion, the death penalty,... Every one is free to have his/her opinion, but this is a point both partners must agree on to have a successful relationship. She expected an honest answer, in my opinion rightfully so.

[dasein]

Still going with the "parody factor joke email forwarding theory" to explain much of the continued response of these men. I think OP's fake profile and email responses have likely been forwarded all over by now. Doesn't mean many of the guys would actually show up for the meet, they will sure keep the joke going with more email replies though.

[xxoo]

We live in a different world. If what you say is representative for what guys on OLD think, then at least ES's generalization beyond her test sample is correct.

 

For me the question about casual sex is up there with opinion on abortion, the death penalty,... Every one is free to have his/her opinion, but this is a point both partners must agree on to have a successful relationship. She expected an honest answer, in my opinion rightfully so.

 

Does it matter if she was dishonest about her own casual sex?

 

From the OP:

 

Most of them claimed to me that:

 

a) they hate casual sex and would never do it (of course, that comes after I mention something like that first) or