couldthisbelove Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 there is a lot of back story to this so please bear with me. I met my wife in Las vegas, 1 1/2 yrs ago. shes from NY, Im from CA we have been married for 3 months. we lost contact after vegas and reconnected in june of this yr. we had alot of chemistry still so we decided to pursue a relationship. At the time she was in a relationship and i was fresh out of a "friends with benefits" situation. just enjoying my freedom. We both ended whatever we had going on, and decided to see each other. Well my ex FWB refused to accept the fact it was over, we had a business together and she constantly used that as an excuse to contact me. I made it very clear as I had many times before that I would NEVER be with her. I removed myself from our business, for the sake of my new relationship. Before I got married I visited my future wife in her hometown. She noticed the FWB had texted me, because she "happend" to have my phone and called her. The FWB basically confirmed everything I had told my wife before, and even my wife said she may be mentally unbalanced. Well I went back to CA and I decided I was going to move to NY and propose. I bought a ring, and sold my worldly possessions for a loss and left. So in NY I propose, the next day I find out my future wife is preggo. I have a phone line with my ex of two yrs its my business line and I never had a reason to cancel it. my ex and I have been friends since we broke up. it was a mutual decision to keep it. cheap and easy. Either way I told my wife about this she had no problem with it in the beginning. the only time my ex contacts me is if my bill is late. now the FWB may send a random email or text sometimes, but I normally just delete it. its not worth reading to me. My wife is my Heart and I do everything under the sun to show her that. she says the FWB doesnt bother her but shes on the FWB's FB page everyday. she wants me to show her the random emails but they just upset her, like shes furious. But the chick isn't even saying anything. so I figured its easier to delete the emails and save us both a headache instead of sleeping on the couch. she says that's not good for us so I tell her about them anyway and even though she says I'm doing nothing wrong she takes it all out on me. She gets upset and the first thing she says is go call your bitches. She says she can't trust me, she says everything about me makes her happy except for this situation. Like I have been Prince effin Charming but that's not good enough in her words. but she has access to my email, FB, and phone.I'm at the end of my rope. I'm not a cheater, I hate being treated as such. The cherry on top is.... her ex's call all the time, she meets up with them and because I trust her I don't sweat it. she says I trust her because shes given me every reason to when she hasn't done anything out of the ordinary. I don't want to lie to my wife but I don't want to be the bad guy for no reason either. It really makes me want to leave. what to do???
BetrayedH Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 First, I would take what steps you can to be proactive. Get rid of the shared phone bill nonsense. This may well help you disconnect from the FWB also. Once you've done this, share with your wife that you have taken these steps because you want her to see that she is the only woman for you. Then, I would ask her what more she wants you to do about this and do it. These women honestly mean nothing to you and if your wife wants you to kick them to the curb on the other side of the street, I would do it. Show your wife your level of commitment. Remove any ammunition she might have of this subject. Clean up your mess. I also recommend you get the book, Not Just Friends, and both of you read it. Your wife also needs to have healthy boundaries with her exes and that likely means being done with them altogether, just as you will have done.
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